Just Shy of Heaven
Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Chapter 1
Every weekday, Zander Greene went to work at The Seventh Heaven bakery/coffee shop. He worked in the back mostly, making the pastries and cakes that flew out of the display case out front as customers streamed in to the popular store to grab a quick breakfast before departing for work. And every morning, at about seven-thirty, Zander would pause in his work and go to the doorway into the front to peep out at his favorite customer of all time – the guy he called The Man in the Suit.
Zander had first seen this regular customer about six months ago. He’d come up front to refill his coffee cup from one of the urns out front, and had frozen when he’d seen the man currently receiving a raspberry Danish and a steaming latte from Anne at the cash register. So tall! That had been his first thought, followed almost immediately by: ‘That is the most gorgeous person I have ever seen in my entire life.’
And he was. Tall, broad-shouldered, with a handsome face and a pair of direct eyes the color of slate, the man was like a wet dream come to life. He’d smiled slightly at Anne as he took his purchases before exiting the shop. Anne had stared after him with a rather goofy expression on her pretty face – and Zander had worn a similar expression, although he hadn’t known that at the time. He’d finally gotten himself under control enough to casually go up to Anne and ask her about the man who’d just left the shop.
She’d told him that The Man in the Suit had started coming in almost a month ago, and that he’d become a regular. She didn’t know much about him, because he never talked about himself much. He was courteous and friendly with her, but also a little distant. She’d tried flirting, but he’d never responded. Now she just admired him from a distance, and it made her morning every day to be able to see his face.
Zander had agreed with her, and that had started his own morning ritual. The man came in every day at seven-thirty on the dot, and if he didn’t come in Zander worried. He’d only not shown up twice in the last six months, and the second time had been for almost a week. Zander had been wild with anxiety until the man had reappeared on the Thursday of that week. He’d been a little pale, and Zander had heard him admit in his (wonderfully sexy) deep, gravelly voice that he’d had a really bad case of the flu. He’d been so relieved that his dream man had gotten better and was back to his routine that he’d almost felt sick with it. The best part of every day of his life was seeing The Man in the Suit come into the shop for his morning pastry and cup of coffee.
It was a little pathetic, he knew, to yearn after some stranger from a distance. But unfortunately for him, he’d never been the type of person who could just walk up to someone he liked and introduce himself. He’d been painfully shy his whole life, and that coupled with the fact that he wasn’t wildly attractive himself had stunted his personal life badly. In point of fact, Zander was still a virgin. He knew how ridiculous it was for a grown man to still be a virgin, but…that was just the way it was. He lived alone, he never dated, and the only company he normally had besides his friend Jake was a striped tabby named Bearclaw.
Zander sometimes had daydreams as he worked. They all revolved around the sexy stranger in the suit, and some were quite steamy. Images of the two of them reclining on a huge bed with satin sheets, while the gorgeous man tied him to the bedposts with silken ropes, would run through his head as he mixed a batch of his homemade donuts or twisted lengths of dough together to form a coffee ring.
He was happy and fulfilled in his work, even if his personal life sucked. Whenever he would pull a freshly baked tray of pastries out of the oven, the tempting odor would fill his nostrils and make him feel good. People would eat these, he knew, and would feel happier about their morning and life in general. Sometimes he’d sing half under his breath as he baked, and the other workers would smile at his back as they went about their own tasks. Everybody in the shop liked Zander, who was quiet but also very nice. Also, the business was booming because of his skills, so they were guaranteed jobs.
Zander never expected anything to come of his silent crush on the stranger, of course. The man was most likely married, that’s probably why he’d always gently deflected Anne’s light flirtations. But there was nothing wrong with looking, was there? Enjoying the sight of a handsome man? It always made Zander feel even better about life in general and his work in particular when he got to see The Man in the Suit.
****
It all started on a Saturday, when Zander was in his local Safeway getting supplies for the baking he intended to do at home. His friend Jake loved his stuff, so Zander would always have something baked when his friend came over to hang out with him. He was going to make a homemade cake today, German chocolate (Jake’s favorite). He picked up a package of flake coconut and put it in his cart, along with the baker’s flour and sugar, the real butter, and the bar of semi-sweet baker’s chocolate already in there. Then he added a package of pecans to his haul, and as he straightened up to put them in his cart he saw a man enter the baking aisle and stop at the rack that held the spices.
Zander froze, his eyes going rather wide. It was HIM! The Man in the Suit! Only today he wasn’t wearing a suit. He had on a blue polo shirt and a pair of casual slacks, and his eyes couldn’t help but notice the way the magnificent broad shoulders stretched the fabric of that shirt. Oh God, to be this close to the man of his dreams…Zander almost felt like panicking, and had to remind himself sharply that this person didn’t even know who he was. He bowed his head a little and gripped the handle of his cart, preparing to move past the Man in the Suit without saying anything to him or even looking at him.
But just as he went past the man (So close!), that familiar deep voice spoke: “Excuse me,” the man said, and at first Zander thought he was talking to someone else, “Don’t you work at the Seventh Heaven Bakery?”
Zander froze again, this time in such utter shock that he strongly resembled a statue. The Man in the Suit was talking to him! He forgot how to breathe for a moment. Then he turned his head ever so slowly, to find himself looking into a quizzical pair of slate grey eyes. “Am I wrong?” the man asked, sounding a little puzzled. “Don’t you work at the bakery?”
Zander couldn’t speak. Not even if his life had depended on it. So he merely nodded his head a little, his fingers nervously spasming on the handle of his grocery cart. The Man in the Suit cocked his head to the side a bit. “I thought so. You’re one of the bakers, right? I see that you’ve got baking supplies in there,” he nodded toward Zander’s cart. “I just wanted to tell you that the pastries and cakes at your bakery are the best I’ve ever had, bar none.”
His mouth opened and closed several times, as though he were a baby bird waiting for a worm. Sweat broke out on his forehead, and he was panicking inside his own mind. ‘Just say thank you!’ his brain shrilled, ‘That’s all you need to do!’ But he couldn’t, of course. His natural shyness had seized him in a vise grip, and his tongue was literally tied.
“Are you all right? Cat got your tongue?” the gorgeous man teased him gently.
Zander wished that he could sink through the tile floor and disappear right here and now. God, this was embarrassing! This amazingly hot man had noticed him at the bakery, and was speaking to him right here in the grocery store; and all he could do was just stand there like he was a feeble-minded person and gape at the man. He felt like an incredible idiot, and his face flamed as he continued to stand there helplessly mute.
The Man in the Suit waited patiently for some verbal response, but when none came he studied Zander’s face intently. “Am I making you nervous?” he asked softly. “Nod if I am.”
Zander’s head moved up and down in a jerky nod. “I see,” the man said musingly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to compliment you. I’ll get going now, see you on Monday,” he casually waved a hand and smiled at Zander before walking away.
Oh, God. He’d blown it! The most gorgeous man in the world had just talked to him, and he’d stood there like he was retarded and said nothing in return! Zander wanted desperately to cry. He blinked away tears as he finished his shopping, feeling miserable. He’d never get another chance like this one. While he could continue to admire The Man in the Suit from a distance, that’s all that would happen. He could have kicked himself as he pushed his cart out into the parking lot to load the groceries into his car.
But lo and behold, as he approached his own car he saw a by-now familiar figure loading groceries into the back of a nice little coupe. And the vehicle was parked right next to his! Zander felt himself begin to panic, but somehow he got his trembling legs to work. He pushed his cart up to his car nervously, casting glances at the man who was just now finishing his own unloading. He straightened up, and saw Zander standing there dumbly staring at him.
His eyes went to the car that Zander had stopped the cart next to, and then back to his face. He smiled slightly, that wonderful smile that always made his stomach clench. “Long time no see,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “Do you think this is fate or a coincidence?”
Zander wished his wretched tongue would come unglued from the top of his mouth. He could feel his face turning red, and thought desperate thoughts about digging a hole and pulling the dirt back in behind him. He really sucked; why couldn’t he be like everybody else? Why did he have to be cursed with this crippling shyness? He was going to blow it again, right after the first time! He’d need a gun after this so he could shoot himself in the head and be done with it.
The Man in the Suit looked at his reddening face. “Is it just me who makes you this nervous?” he asked gently.
Zander shook his head silently. While The Man in the Suit made him more nervous than anybody ever had before, he still had a hard time around most of the rest of humanity as well. The other man cocked his head. “So if anybody asked you if you wanted to go get a cup of coffee, you’d freak out on them too?” he teased.
Zander’s eyes went so wide that they seemed to fill his face. His mouth opened slightly, but no sound issued forth. The Man in the Suit chuckled “You’re a cute one,” he mused. “So would you like to go get a cup of coffee with me? Or do you have frozen stuff that you have to take home immediately? Nod if you can go,” he added with a twitch of his lips.
His head bobbed up and down jerkily, as though he were a marionette. The big man looked pleased. “Okay; why don’t you follow me? There’s a place not too far from here that serves halfway decent coffee. Not as good as you guys’ at the bakery, of course; but still not bad.” He turned toward his car, and Zander stood there feeling like a man in a dream.
What was happening? Was he really going to get a cup of coffee with THE MAN IN THE SUIT?! The man of his dreams?! It wasn’t possible! But it was. The man was getting into his car, and he turned to wave slightly at Zander. Finally his limbs started to work, and he wildly began to shove his bags into the back seat of his battered, ancient little Toyota. He flung the last one in and hurried to open his driver’s side door. He jumped in the car, his fingers fumbling for the keys in his pocket. His hands were shaking as he started his car. He’d be lucky if he didn’t get into an accident. He drove after the coupe, which was slowly pulling out of the Safeway parking lot.
Fortunately it was only a short drive to the cafe where they were going. Zander pulled in after The Man in the Suit and found a parking space near his. He got out, fumbling with the keys once again as he locked the doors of his car. Then he turned to the man standing nearby waiting for him. A smile graced the hunk’s lips. “Come on,” he said, waving a hand at Zander.
They went inside and found a table. He sat on one side and the man sat on the other. Zander squirmed in his seat, feeling horribly nervous. The man smiled graciously at the dazzled waitress who appeared at their table. “Two coffees,” he told her. “And bring some cream and sugar on the side. Thanks.”
She departed to bring them the coffees, and he turned his slate-grey gaze back onto Zander. “I guess I should introduce myself. My name’s Tobias Mackenzie, although my friends call me Toby. What about you? What’s your name?”
His name? What was his name? A panicked Zander blanked completely. He simply couldn’t remember what his own name was! Seeing his ‘deer-in-the-headlights’ expression, Tobias Mackenzie chuckled and shook his head. “You have to be the shyest person I’ve ever met,” he mused. “That is what’s afflicting you, right? Shyness?”
Zander nodded, grateful that The Man in the Suit seemed to understand. “Have you always been like this?” Tobias asked next, studying his red face curiously.
Zander nodded again. Finally he managed to get his tongue to work. “Always. Since I was a little kid,” he half-whispered.
“Ouch. That’s tough. Is that why you’re always in the back? You have trouble talking to the customers?”
“Yes,” Zander breathed.
“Well, I’ll try to make you more comfortable. We’ll just talk about simple things or nothing at all if it gets too bad for you. We can just drink coffee. Or I’ll talk about myself and you can just listen,” he added with a lopsided smile. “I like to talk about myself, I’m extremely narcissistic anyway.”
Zander gave him a skeptical look for this statement. He grinned. “You eyes are speaking enough for me,” he said. “I can tell what you’re thinking because it’s reflected in your eyes. Here,” he produced a pen and reached out to grab a napkin, “Why don’t you write your name on this napkin? That’ll help, since I can’t just call you ‘hey you’.”
Zander took the pen, nearly gasping when their fingers brushed together as Tobias passed him the napkin. With shaking fingers, he wrote his name legibly on it and laid the napkin on the tabletop. He pushed it toward The Man in the Suit across the table. He took it, reading the name. “Zander Greene,” he said. “Nice to meet you, Zander,” he added with another smile. “That’s a nice name, Zander. It rolls off the tongue easily.”
He didn’t know what to say to this statement, although it made him feel rather good that The Man in the Suit liked his name. He liked Tobias as well. It was nice. He wanted to say it aloud, but his tongue still felt tied up in knots. His hands spasmed nervously on the tabletop, but fortunately for him the waitress reappeared just then with a carafe of coffee, two cups, a smaller jug of creamer and some packets of sugar. She set these on the table, smiling flirtatiously at Tobias the whole time. Zander might as well have not been there at all. But he was used to this reaction to The Man in the Suit from women, so he didn’t get angry about it. He just sighed a little as Tobias said “Thank you,” in a friendly but rather cool tone of voice.
The waitress departed with a regretful look. Tobias glanced at Zander. But he said nothing about the waitress’s flirtation, instead pouring two cups of coffee and handing one to Zander across the table. “Here you go. It’s not bad,” he said with another friendly smile.
Zander added a little sugar and a bit of cream and sipped at it. The Man in the Suit was right; it wasn’t bad at all. Not as good as the coffee that they produced at Seventh Heaven, of course; but in Zander’s opinion, they had the best coffee in the entire world so it wasn’t a surprise that this couldn’t compete. He watched Tobias surreptitiously as he drank, admiring the man’s handsome face as he did every morning at the bakery. He jumped when Tobias spoke suddenly, nearly spilling his cup of coffee all over himself.
“Are you a baker? The few times I’ve caught glimpses of you, you’ve had flour all over your apron,” he remarked with a twinkle in his slate-colored eyes.
Zander nodded. “I-I’m the head baker,” he managed to choke out in a hoarse half-whisper.
The Man in the Suit’s eyebrows shot up. “You are? Wow! So you’re responsible for all of those luscious pastries. I’m impressed,” he added, sounding like he really meant it.
Zander turned brick-red from embarrassed delight at being so highly praised by the guy he’d had a major crush on for over six months now. “T-t-t-thanks,” he managed to stutter, his fingers closing hard on the coffee cup.
Tobias leaned back in his seat. “You really are shy, aren’t you? Anyway, I’ll just talk about myself for a bit like I said I would. You can throw in at any time if you want, or you can just listen. It’s up to you,” he said with a friendly smile.
Zander felt acute relief that Tobias seemed to understand. The other man began to talk about himself, starting with his job. Apparently he was an advertising exec with a prestigious firm downtown. He told Zander this with a faint grimace. “That’s right,” he said sardonically, “I help to come up with those crappy commercials trying to sell bad products to the American public. I could wish,” he added with a sigh, “That we’d get more accounts for products that I’d actually feel good about selling. I’m not sure I always like my job,” he sighed.
Zander considered this. “Maybe…you should do something else, then?” he asked, feeling amazed at his boldness.
Tobias lifted his eyebrows a little. “Maybe,” he conceded. “I’m just not sure WHAT. I mean, I make good money which is more than you can say for a lot of people in this economy. If I decided to give up my job, I'd want to know exactly what I was going to do instead. I don't know. You're lucky. You have a job that you actually like. Not too many people can say that."
He'd never thought about it that way, but he supposed that Tobias was right. He did really love baking. He wouldn't want to do anything else. He couldn't imagine toiling at a job that he hated day in and day out. Zander realized that he felt rather sorry for Tobias, which took him aback. He never would have imagined that there would come a day when he’d feel sorry for The Man in the Suit. This was turning out to be a really, REALLY surprising day.
Chapter 2