Chapter 3
Parker took a sip from his water bottle. He glanced at his companion, and saw that the other man had removed his helmet. The face revealed underneath was interesting – not handsome, exactly, but rather fine-boned with a high forehead and a pair of dark green eyes that reminded him of leaves in the depths of a forest. The mouth was softly pink even if a little thin, and the hair falling over his forehead was black. All in all, not too bad.
“So that’s what you look like, Boba,” he said.
The other man’s hands spasmed on his helmet. “Umm…it’s Chad.” He said. “Chad Walinski.”
He smiled and held out his hand. “Parker Jones. Nice to meet you, Chad Walinski.”
Chad took the offered hand, feeling how firm Han’s…err…Parker’s, handshake was. He gulped, feeling nervous and aroused at the same time. That second emotion he tried hard not to pay any attention to. Someone like Parker Jones wasn’t going to be interested in a skinny geek like him. While they might have a lot to talk about, that didn’t mean anything. It was stupid of him to have a crush on such a hot guy. He was both glad and rather disappointed when Parker withdrew his hand after the shake.
Parker relaxed back in his chair and glanced at Chad’s costume. “I’m still amazed that you made that costume yourself,” he remarked. “So many of the homemade costumes you see at Cons are absolutely terrible. Made out of tin foil and plastic wrap and other goofy things.”
“Styrofoam,” Chad replied succinctly. “That’s what my friend Derek’s storm trooper costume is made out of.”
The other man laughed, shaking his head. “I just think that if you’re going to come in costume you should really try and make something authentic – or at least something that doesn’t look like you threw it together in two days out of things you found around the house.”
“I like your costume,” Chad blurted, then felt himself turn rather red once again.
Parker looked down at his Han Solo costume. “Thanks. Its not as good as yours, but I had less to work with. Solo doesn’t wear armor or anything really cool. Still, the scruffy space captain look suits me, don’t you think?” he held out his arms slightly as he invited Chad’s comment.
“Yeah,” he agreed. “It really does.”
Silence for a moment as parker took a swig from his water bottle. Then he glanced sideways at Chad. “So tell me, Chad Walinski. Do you have a boyfriend?”
He squirmed in his seat. “Umm, no,” he said, feeling kind of embarrassed to admit that fact. Not because he didn’t have a boyfriend now, but because he’d NEVER had one. Of course the other man didn’t know that, but…
The bartender grimaced. “So we’re in the same boat. I don’t have a boyfriend either. I broke up with my last one about six months ago.”
Chad wondered what kind of idiot would break up with a hunk like this. Then he froze in complete panic as Parker asked curiously: “How long has it been for you?”
He found himself stuttering when he could finally speak. “H-How long…for what?”
“Since you’ve been with someone,” Parker explained patiently. “When’d you break up with your last boyfriend?”
OH GOD. He didn’t want to answer that. He could lie, of course, but he’d always been a terrible liar. Maybe if he’d still had his Boba Fett helmet on…then Parker wouldn’t have been able to see his face and he might have gotten away with it. But now…his shoulders slumped. “I’ve never had one,” he said flatly, staring at the carpet underfoot. He felt horribly embarrassed and pathetic. To have to make such an admission to someone like Parker Jones…his life was over.
Parker stared at Chad’s bent dark head. “Oh,” he said uselessly. The shoulders under the costume tensed visibly as the other man waited for the sarcastic remark that had to follow. All about what a loser he was for never having had a boyfriend. But he wasn’t going to make it; he should never have forgotten just how few social skills the average geek actually had. Most of them had better relationships with their on-line chat groups and their action figures than they did with real people. He was just lucky to have gotten more than most, and to be able to put them to good use.
“Well, you’re young yet,” he went on after a moment’s silence. “You’ve got plenty of time to get a boyfriend. Don’t let it get you down,” he touched Chad’s shoulder, making the other man jump a little. The green eyes lifted to his face, searching his expression to see if he meant what he said. Parker smiled at him reassuringly.
Chad straightened up slowly, not sure what to say. Parker hadn’t savaged him for his lack of a boyfriend! Nor did he look disgusted or sneering at all. His face wore a friendly expression, and his smile was easy. His embarrassment dissipated somewhat. He felt a sudden urge to blurt out a confession, and he couldn’t quite seem to help himself: “I usually hook up with guys at Cons,” he said, then tried to shut up. His brain told him to be quiet, a little too late.
Parker’s brows lifted. “Only at Cons? Like once a year?” he asked.
Chad’s face turned brick red. “Yes,” he mumbled, looking at the carpet underfoot again.
The bartender thought about getting laid once a year and was amazed. Not that he had much to say; since he’d given Jace the boot he’d had exactly two one-night stands with guys he’d picked up at the bar. Both had been such unfulfilling experiences that he’d vowed not to do it again. Which meant that unless he got another boyfriend soon he might be just like Chad and end up getting laid once a year or less. He said lightly: “Planning on picking somebody up this year?”
Chad shook his head, feeling miserable. “I…I got tired of it,” he said softly. “It sucks. I didn’t really know any of those guys, and it just…” he lifted his shoulders helplessly, unable to explain his dissatisfaction with hooking up at Cons.
“It made you feel hollow and kind of disgusted with yourself,” Parker said, making his head jerk up. He stared rather wide-eyed at the bartender, who smiled a crooked, sardonic smile. “I know how you feel,” he said. “I picked a couple of guys up at the bar after I broke up with my ex, and took them home with me for the night. I barely even knew their names. And it does, indeed, suck. Just like you said. So I’ve vowed not to do it anymore. I guess I’ll just have to start dating again if I want to get any,” he added with a self-deprecating shrug.
Chad was astounded that someone like Parker understood how he felt. “Umm…why did you…?” he began, then stopped. It wasn’t any of his business.
The brown eyes glanced at his face shrewdly. “Why did I…what? Break up with my boyfriend?”
Chad nodded, but said: “I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”
“No, its not. But I don’t mind telling you. It wasn’t the worst break-up in the world. Jace was simply too high maintenance for me. He was a drama queen, and he wanted all of my attention whenever we were together. But the worst thing was…he didn’t like Star Wars.”
Blasphemy. Heresy. Seeing Chad’s expression, Parker broke into open laughter. “Yeah. It’s awful, isn’t it? I didn’t find out that he didn’t like Star Wars until a few months after we started dating. Then I was watching Empire, which is my favorite of the trilogy; and he was over at my apartment. He started sighing and squirming and trying to get my attention. I finally got really annoyed with him and asked him to wait until the movie was over. Then he got mad and told me that he didn’t know why I wasted my time on movies as stupid as the Star Wars trilogy. He must have seen how shocked I looked, because he backpedalled and tried to tell me that he was just mad that’s why he’d said that. But I could tell that he really didn’t like them. I should have dumped him then and there, but it seemed kind of shallow to get rid of him just because he didn’t share my obsession. So we kept going out for like four months more, until I finally couldn’t stomach his temper tantrums anymore. That’ll teach me – from now on when I’m looking for a guy the first thing I’m going to ask is whether they like Star Wars or not. I know that sounds dumb, but…”
“Its not dumb,” Chad replied stoutly. “I mean, wouldn’t it cause a lot of friction between two people if one of them hates something that the other one really loves? That’s not the best basis for a relationship.”
Parker looked at him admiringly. “That’s pretty wise, Chad,” he said.
Oh man, he felt rather dizzy under Parker’s approving look and words. His heart thundered in his chest. His palms felt clammy. “Umm…I don’t know. Its not like I’ve ever had a relationship,” he said quickly.
Parker started to say something else, but then he happened to glance at his watch. “Oops! It’s twelve o’clock. They’re showing Star Wars in the screening room, along with a trailer for the new Iron Man movie. Did you want to come with me?” he asked Chad.
Boy, did he ever. He tried to sound casual as he said: “Sure. I always like to watch Star Wars, especially on a big screen.”
“Cool. Afterward we can go get something to eat. I’m sure I’ll be starving by then,” Parker said with a wry smile.
Chad walked with him as they started for the screening room. He couldn’t quite believe how this Con had started. He was actually hanging out with a steaming hot Han Solo! He wondered idly how Derek was doing with Parker’s friend, but at the moment he really didn’t care. He was just hoping that this really good dream went on, that he didn’t wake up from it anytime soon.
As Chad spared an idle thought for him, Derek was sitting in the conference center’s restaurant across from Cassie/Princess Leia. He was staring at the pretty girl across from him, trying to figure out what the catch was. Why hadn’t this babe told him off yet? Not in the way she’d done in the display room, either. He was waiting for the punch to his gut, the kick to his groin, or the horrible, cutting words while she looked at him like he was some sort of lowly, disgusting worm. Derek was used to being rejected, usually nastily. Girls hated him. Most of the time he wished that he were gay like Chad. Surely guys weren’t as mean or as picky as the female of the species? He’d probably get laid sometimes if he were gay. Unfortunately he couldn’t just try to turn gay, since the thought of even kissing a guy repulsed him. He was screwed.
“Hey, ba…Princess?” he said after a moment.
She looked up from the menu. “What?”
“Why haven’t you…I mean, why are you hanging out with a guy like me?” he asked.
She blinked. “I’m not totally sure,” she conceded. “You’re kind of a jerk, you have the moves of a drunken wallaby, and that is an amazingly lame costume. But I don’t know…underneath the bluster you seem kind of sweet.”
Sweet? He gave her a perplexed look. She grinned. “Girls DO like sweet guys, you know, no matter what you’ve heard. I know that it seems like all we want are assholes, but the truth is the only reason those types get girls at all is because they’re usually totally confident. We adore confident guys. And sometimes the jerk-offs are the only ones that display that much confidence, so we’re stuck with them. Its biological, unfortunately. We’re hard-wired to be attracted to the guys that can hunt the best for us and take care of us while we have babies. Never mind that its not that way anymore; our instincts still tell us to look for the same type of person to mate with. And you only seem like a creep when you lay on those stupid pick-up lines, but you have no self-confidence to go along with it. So drop the retarded come-ons and show the girls how nice you can be, but at the same time learn some confidence. You can’t go wrong.”
He was awed by how smart she was. “So you’re saying that if I’m nice and sort of bold, the chicks will flock to me?”
She nodded. “Go up to a girl like you KNOW she’ll say yes to you, and say something nice. Compliment her on her hair or her costume. Look her in the eyes like this…” she looked at him across the table in a bold, direct stare. “Think all the time that you rock and that you just want to show her that you do. Smile. And when you do compliment her, be honest. Believe that she’s pretty or has a nice smile, or otherwise don’t bother. Girls can tell when you’re being insincere.”
Derek was flabbergasted. Here was Cassie divulging all of the secrets he needed to actually get girls. Why was she doing this for him? He hesitated. “So…umm…what if I’d already met a chick that I like? How would I tell her so?” he asked uncertainly.
Cassie cocked her head. “You met somebody already? That’s good. If you made a bad first impression on her, you’ll have to try again. What does she look like? We’ll start with that.”
“Oh. She has really soft brown hair,” Derek began, “And she’s wearing this sexy costume that looks great on her. Plus she’s really smart, the smartest chick I’ve ever met. Her name is Cassie,” he went on more softly, trying to sound as sincere as he felt.
Her mouth opened as she gaped at him. Derek steeled himself for the inevitable rejection, since this was just about the time he could expect it. But she said after a moment: “Wow. I just thought…you know, that you hit on me like you do every girl.”
“Well, I did,” he agreed ruefully. “But you talked to me like no girl ever has before. It’s really cool, you know? Guys don’t know what girls are thinking, but they always seem to expect that we SHOULD know automatically. You told me things no other chick ever has, and you weren’t mean about it. That was awesome. You’re really amazing, Cassie. And I know I’m just an idiot who acts like a jerk every time he gets around a girl, but I was kind of wondering…umm…” he was sweating, so he had to stop.
She took a deep breath. “Yes,” she replied calmly. “We can hang out together for the next couple of days. And if you prove that you can be something other than a jerk, then we’ll talk about maybe dating or something afterward.”
He was floored. He couldn’t believe it. Derek Yanger just didn’t have this kind of luck. If a meteor had fallen from the sky right at that moment, crashed through the roof of the conference center, and landed on his head, he wouldn’t have been surprised at all. But instead, Cassie merely reopened her menu and studied it again. “I think I’ll have a salad and a turkey sandwich,” she remarked. “What about you, Derek?”
Food? He was supposed to actually think about food or anything else besides the fact that she had agreed to hang out with him? He opened his own menu, but it could have been written in Martian for all that he could read it.
Chad couldn’t quite get as excited over watching Star Wars as he normally did, since he was far too conscious of the man sitting next to him in the darkened room. He tried to watch the screen, to let himself be enthralled by the story of the orphaned Luke Skywalker and his newfound master Obi-Wan Kenobi, but damn it he was far too close to the hottie in the Han Solo costume! Parker was eating popcorn and relaxing back in his chair. He at least didn’t seem to have any problems concentrating on the movie – but of course, why wouldn’t he? It wasn’t as though Chad were some irresistible hottie that he couldn’t take his eyes off of. Who’d want to look at a skinny geek in a Boba Fett costume when he could watch an exciting sci fi movie?
Especially when Luke and Obi-Wan arrived at the bar where they went to talk to Captain Han Solo about chartering a flight on the Millennium Falcon. Chad felt a streak of despairing jealousy run through him when Harrison Ford’s character appeared on screen. How could he compete with Parker’s hero and first crush? It was stupid to think that he could. He just shouldn’t try, that was all. He wasn’t sure why they were even still hanging out together, but he was pretty sure that it wasn’t going to go any further than spending time together at the Con.
He sighed, sipping at the soda in his hand. Parker had bought it for him, waving away his protests. Resolutely he forced himself to stare at the movie screen, unwillingly having to agree with Parker that Han Solo was very hot indeed. The rogue with the heart was almost as good as the stoic bounty hunter. And both of them beat a ninety-pound loser like him all to pieces. He slumped down even further, almost wishing that he hadn’t met Parker Jones at all. If he hadn’t, he would have been enjoying being King of the Con right now, without all of these doubts and self-esteem issues plaguing him. He could have been strutting around showing off his awesome costume instead of sitting here drooling over a guy who would no more look at him than he would a tentacled alien.
He should just blow Parker off here and now. Tell the sexy bartender that he had other things to do and just never come near him again while the Con was going on. But unfortunately for him, his hormones were in charge. And all they cared about was lusting after Parker, so he was pretty much doomed.
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