A/N: Hey, folks. Your author is kind of miserable right now. I badly pulled a muscle in my abdomen, and have been hobbling around for days like an old woman. Some reviews would be really nice, and might help to cheer me up -DL
Chapter 5
Eli sat at the table in the studio and watched Sebastian work. This was no different from the many others times that he’d sat in the same place, alternately admiring and deploring the way that Sebastian went about getting the best out of his subjects. The only difference was that he was aware that the photographer was in love with him. But what a BIG difference that was! He still couldn’t quite wrap his head around it, in spite of the fact that Sebastian had confessed everything to him. Now he had to look at the photographer in a whole new light, and decide how he felt in return. He’d promised Sebastian that he would, and he’d keep his promise.
He tried to look at Sebastian with an objective eye, weighing the pros and cons of getting into a relationship with the man. He was handsome in a scruffy, didn’t-quite-shave-enough sort of way; he was a brilliant and capable artist, who managed to capture the souls of his subjects on film; he was funny in a caustic sort of way. And Eli suspected that after all of the sex he’d had, Sebastian would be amazing in bed. Those were just some of the pros.
The cons included his surly, anti-social personality; his (now former) habit of bed-hopping, because could he quite trust that Sebastian would never do that again just because they were together? What if he got bored? And his intensity, which could sometimes be a little much to take. Altogether, did they balance out? He just didn’t know.
Eli knew that he needed to say something soon. Sebastian had been patiently waiting for him to think this over, but he was bound to run out of patience any day now. It had been several months since he’d gotten that confession out of the photographer, and he was still confused and uncertain. But he couldn’t continue to be that way. He had to make a decision and put Sebastian out of his misery. It wasn’t right to keep on making him wait like this.
He sighed, sipping at his cup of coffee. Why did this have to be so difficult? Maybe it was because he suspected that if he did agree to go out with Sebastian, that this could develop into something very serious very quickly. And he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that, not after the heartbreak he’d had with Dave. He was still feeling a little raw about that, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for another serious relationship just now.
Carrie came over and sat down next to him, greeting him with a smile. “Good morning, Mr. Drake,” she said.
“Good morning, Carrie,” he replied quietly.
She studied his face. “Are you all right, Mr. Drake?” she asked him in concern.
He lifted an eyebrow. “Do I look that bad?”
“Not exactly,” she replied hurriedly. “It’s just that you’ve seemed a little…I don’t know…moody lately. I mean, it’s none of my business, but I’ve noticed that you seem to watch Mr. Versang a lot more, too. Did he do something…bad?”
“No, he didn’t,” Eli said swiftly.
She brightened up. “Oh, that’s great! I was afraid that he had, and that you were going to dump him as a client. I’d hate for that to happen; I really like you, Mr. Drake. It wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t coming around here all the time.”
He smiled at her. “Thank you, Carrie. I really like you, too,” he told her. “It’s just that I’ve got…sort of a dilemma going where Sebastian is concerned,” he added, glancing over at the busy photographer.
“Dilemma? What sort of dilemma?”
He sighed. “I can’t really talk about it,” he said. “If I could, I would. It’d be nice to talk about this with someone who isn’t involved.”
She looked at him keenly across the tabletop. “This doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Mr. Versang is in love with you, does it?” she asked softly.
He almost choked on his mouthful of coffee, and spluttered helplessly while Carrie jumped up and came around to part him on the back. “I’m sorry!” she cried. “I shouldn’t have said anything,” she went on remorsefully.
“H-How…how did you know?” he gasped when he could speak again.
“Umm, it wasn’t that hard to see. Once I figured out that he was acting like he was in love with someone, it didn’t take me very long to figure out that it must be you. Why else would he stop drinking? And treat me better because you asked him to? And not have sex with anybody? Also, there’s the fact that he treats you better than anybody else around him, by far. It’s either love, or you have something really nasty on him.”
He grimaced. “I’m afraid it’s love,” he admitted. “I almost WISH that I had something nasty on him, it would make my life so much easier.”
She stepped back and sat down again. “Why is it a problem? Has he tried something funny?” she asked suspiciously, eyeing Sebastian like she was considering doing something awful to him.
He smiled wryly. “No, he hasn’t. He’s been very patient with me, in fact. I told him I needed time to think it over once I got him to confess that he’s in love with me. But even after two months, I’m still not sure. I just came off of one relationship, and Sebastian - being Sebastian - doesn’t fill me with high hopes about getting into another one. I’m not sure I want to take that leap.”
Carrie nodded. “I can see why you’d be uncertain,” she mused thoughtfully. “Mr. Versang can be a real handful. But…”
“But?” he asked, gazing at her.
She turned a sober face to him. “If you don’t take a chance, Mr. Drake, you might miss out on something really great. Take my boyfriend, Kyle. When we first met, he hit on me with a terrible line. It was so bad that I was going to walk away, thinking he was just some sort of nasty, immature, frat boy who wasn’t worth my time. But he kept trying to talk to me, and when I got mad and snapped at him, he apologized profusely and explained that he was so nervous that he fell back on that old line because he really couldn’t think of anything else to say. That all he wanted was to get to know me, that he thought I was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, and if I’d just give him one more chance he’d do anything at all. He was so sincere that I couldn’t help myself. I agreed to go out with him, and I’m really glad that I did. Kyle’s so sweet, so loving, so amazing…if I’d just brushed him off that night, I would have missed out on something really special. I’m glad that I didn’t, because this has been the best year of my life. You never know what can happen when you take a chance. It might be awful, but it also might be something better than your wildest dreams. The only way to find out is to take that leap.”
He drew in a deep breath. “You’re absolutely right, Carrie,” he agreed soberly. “If I pass on this out of fear, then I’m being an idiot. It might turn out to be the worst idea ever, but you never know…Sure, I could get hurt again. But that’s what life is about, sometimes. You take your knocks and keep going, and sometimes you find something really great.”
“That’s the spirit!” she enthused happily.
His smile was faintly amused this time. “Thanks for your help, Carrie.”
“No problem, Mr. Drake! This is sort of like reading a gay romance novel, only it’s happening in real life!” she cried enthusiastically.
Eli shook his head. “Okay. Why don’t you go and get the latest photos so that I can look them over?”
“Okay,” she bounced away, making him shake his head again. He really had been tormenting Sebastian by hiring her, hadn’t he? Her over energetic cheerfulness must have been like fingernails on a blackboard to Sebastian, especially when he was nursing a horrible hangover every morning back when he’d still been drinking himself into a stupor every night.
Sebastian barked out orders, then turned and strode toward the table. The model stomped away in a petulant pique, as Sebastian threw himself down in a chair. “My God, they get stupider every day,” he complained bitterly. “They can’t even take simple orders anymore! I swear, one of these days I’m going to snap and kill everybody in the studio, then do a series of pictures with the stacked bodies. It will be my best work ever,” he added sardonically.
Eli found himself smiling. Sebastian stopped abruptly, and asked suspiciously: “What?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. It’s just that you bitch and moan and complain the most when the shoots are really going well. I expect that these pictures will be stunning, maybe your best yet.”
Sebastian eyed him grumpily. “I’m not sure I like having you know me that well,” he growled.
The agent let his smile widen. “So does that mean you won’t go out with me if I ask you on a date?”
Shocked silence. Sebastian just gaped at him for a moment, frozen in his chair. Then: “Date?” he asked weakly.
“Yes, a date. Ever heard of them? I know you haven’t been on many, since most of your sexual encounters have been from casual pick-ups at seedy bars and nightclubs. But its’ when two people go out together to eat a meal, or see a movie, or go dancing together, so that they can get to know each other better. But if you think that I already know you too well, perhaps it’s a bad idea…” Eli said innocently.
“No! Damn it, I’ve been waiting for over a year!” Sebastian barked, glaring at him. “You’re not worming your way out of this now, Eli!”
He chuckled, feeling better than he had in a long time. Teasing Sebastian was really fun. “I guess it’s a date, then,” he remarked in satisfaction. “How about tonight, if you’re not busy? I know this great restaurant; I think you’ll really like it.”
“I’m sure I will. Do I have to wear a coat and tie?” Sebastian demanded.
He laughed. “I wouldn’t want to strain your temper that much. No, you don’t have to wear a coat and tie. Wear whatever you want. Why don’t you swing by my place and pick me up? Say about seven o’clock? I want to be chauffeured around in your Jaguar.”
Sebastian snorted, though his eyes gleamed with a light that Eli had never seen there before. It was a light that did funny things to his insides. “I’ll be there. And I’ll be the perfect gentleman,” he added resolutely.
Eli laughed even harder. “Don’t do that, Sebastian. I don’t want you to strain yourself,” he teased, his eyes twinkling. As the photographer huffed in outrage, he went on: “I just want you to be yourself. That’s the way I like you anyway. Don’t try to be something you’re not for me. Just be you.”
Sebastian eyed him, then shrugged. “It’s your funeral,” he growled, making Eli grin.
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Chapter 5
Eli sat at the table in the studio and watched Sebastian work. This was no different from the many others times that he’d sat in the same place, alternately admiring and deploring the way that Sebastian went about getting the best out of his subjects. The only difference was that he was aware that the photographer was in love with him. But what a BIG difference that was! He still couldn’t quite wrap his head around it, in spite of the fact that Sebastian had confessed everything to him. Now he had to look at the photographer in a whole new light, and decide how he felt in return. He’d promised Sebastian that he would, and he’d keep his promise.
He tried to look at Sebastian with an objective eye, weighing the pros and cons of getting into a relationship with the man. He was handsome in a scruffy, didn’t-quite-shave-enough sort of way; he was a brilliant and capable artist, who managed to capture the souls of his subjects on film; he was funny in a caustic sort of way. And Eli suspected that after all of the sex he’d had, Sebastian would be amazing in bed. Those were just some of the pros.
The cons included his surly, anti-social personality; his (now former) habit of bed-hopping, because could he quite trust that Sebastian would never do that again just because they were together? What if he got bored? And his intensity, which could sometimes be a little much to take. Altogether, did they balance out? He just didn’t know.
Eli knew that he needed to say something soon. Sebastian had been patiently waiting for him to think this over, but he was bound to run out of patience any day now. It had been several months since he’d gotten that confession out of the photographer, and he was still confused and uncertain. But he couldn’t continue to be that way. He had to make a decision and put Sebastian out of his misery. It wasn’t right to keep on making him wait like this.
He sighed, sipping at his cup of coffee. Why did this have to be so difficult? Maybe it was because he suspected that if he did agree to go out with Sebastian, that this could develop into something very serious very quickly. And he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that, not after the heartbreak he’d had with Dave. He was still feeling a little raw about that, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for another serious relationship just now.
Carrie came over and sat down next to him, greeting him with a smile. “Good morning, Mr. Drake,” she said.
“Good morning, Carrie,” he replied quietly.
She studied his face. “Are you all right, Mr. Drake?” she asked him in concern.
He lifted an eyebrow. “Do I look that bad?”
“Not exactly,” she replied hurriedly. “It’s just that you’ve seemed a little…I don’t know…moody lately. I mean, it’s none of my business, but I’ve noticed that you seem to watch Mr. Versang a lot more, too. Did he do something…bad?”
“No, he didn’t,” Eli said swiftly.
She brightened up. “Oh, that’s great! I was afraid that he had, and that you were going to dump him as a client. I’d hate for that to happen; I really like you, Mr. Drake. It wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t coming around here all the time.”
He smiled at her. “Thank you, Carrie. I really like you, too,” he told her. “It’s just that I’ve got…sort of a dilemma going where Sebastian is concerned,” he added, glancing over at the busy photographer.
“Dilemma? What sort of dilemma?”
He sighed. “I can’t really talk about it,” he said. “If I could, I would. It’d be nice to talk about this with someone who isn’t involved.”
She looked at him keenly across the tabletop. “This doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that Mr. Versang is in love with you, does it?” she asked softly.
He almost choked on his mouthful of coffee, and spluttered helplessly while Carrie jumped up and came around to part him on the back. “I’m sorry!” she cried. “I shouldn’t have said anything,” she went on remorsefully.
“H-How…how did you know?” he gasped when he could speak again.
“Umm, it wasn’t that hard to see. Once I figured out that he was acting like he was in love with someone, it didn’t take me very long to figure out that it must be you. Why else would he stop drinking? And treat me better because you asked him to? And not have sex with anybody? Also, there’s the fact that he treats you better than anybody else around him, by far. It’s either love, or you have something really nasty on him.”
He grimaced. “I’m afraid it’s love,” he admitted. “I almost WISH that I had something nasty on him, it would make my life so much easier.”
She stepped back and sat down again. “Why is it a problem? Has he tried something funny?” she asked suspiciously, eyeing Sebastian like she was considering doing something awful to him.
He smiled wryly. “No, he hasn’t. He’s been very patient with me, in fact. I told him I needed time to think it over once I got him to confess that he’s in love with me. But even after two months, I’m still not sure. I just came off of one relationship, and Sebastian - being Sebastian - doesn’t fill me with high hopes about getting into another one. I’m not sure I want to take that leap.”
Carrie nodded. “I can see why you’d be uncertain,” she mused thoughtfully. “Mr. Versang can be a real handful. But…”
“But?” he asked, gazing at her.
She turned a sober face to him. “If you don’t take a chance, Mr. Drake, you might miss out on something really great. Take my boyfriend, Kyle. When we first met, he hit on me with a terrible line. It was so bad that I was going to walk away, thinking he was just some sort of nasty, immature, frat boy who wasn’t worth my time. But he kept trying to talk to me, and when I got mad and snapped at him, he apologized profusely and explained that he was so nervous that he fell back on that old line because he really couldn’t think of anything else to say. That all he wanted was to get to know me, that he thought I was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, and if I’d just give him one more chance he’d do anything at all. He was so sincere that I couldn’t help myself. I agreed to go out with him, and I’m really glad that I did. Kyle’s so sweet, so loving, so amazing…if I’d just brushed him off that night, I would have missed out on something really special. I’m glad that I didn’t, because this has been the best year of my life. You never know what can happen when you take a chance. It might be awful, but it also might be something better than your wildest dreams. The only way to find out is to take that leap.”
He drew in a deep breath. “You’re absolutely right, Carrie,” he agreed soberly. “If I pass on this out of fear, then I’m being an idiot. It might turn out to be the worst idea ever, but you never know…Sure, I could get hurt again. But that’s what life is about, sometimes. You take your knocks and keep going, and sometimes you find something really great.”
“That’s the spirit!” she enthused happily.
His smile was faintly amused this time. “Thanks for your help, Carrie.”
“No problem, Mr. Drake! This is sort of like reading a gay romance novel, only it’s happening in real life!” she cried enthusiastically.
Eli shook his head. “Okay. Why don’t you go and get the latest photos so that I can look them over?”
“Okay,” she bounced away, making him shake his head again. He really had been tormenting Sebastian by hiring her, hadn’t he? Her over energetic cheerfulness must have been like fingernails on a blackboard to Sebastian, especially when he was nursing a horrible hangover every morning back when he’d still been drinking himself into a stupor every night.
Sebastian barked out orders, then turned and strode toward the table. The model stomped away in a petulant pique, as Sebastian threw himself down in a chair. “My God, they get stupider every day,” he complained bitterly. “They can’t even take simple orders anymore! I swear, one of these days I’m going to snap and kill everybody in the studio, then do a series of pictures with the stacked bodies. It will be my best work ever,” he added sardonically.
Eli found himself smiling. Sebastian stopped abruptly, and asked suspiciously: “What?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. It’s just that you bitch and moan and complain the most when the shoots are really going well. I expect that these pictures will be stunning, maybe your best yet.”
Sebastian eyed him grumpily. “I’m not sure I like having you know me that well,” he growled.
The agent let his smile widen. “So does that mean you won’t go out with me if I ask you on a date?”
Shocked silence. Sebastian just gaped at him for a moment, frozen in his chair. Then: “Date?” he asked weakly.
“Yes, a date. Ever heard of them? I know you haven’t been on many, since most of your sexual encounters have been from casual pick-ups at seedy bars and nightclubs. But its’ when two people go out together to eat a meal, or see a movie, or go dancing together, so that they can get to know each other better. But if you think that I already know you too well, perhaps it’s a bad idea…” Eli said innocently.
“No! Damn it, I’ve been waiting for over a year!” Sebastian barked, glaring at him. “You’re not worming your way out of this now, Eli!”
He chuckled, feeling better than he had in a long time. Teasing Sebastian was really fun. “I guess it’s a date, then,” he remarked in satisfaction. “How about tonight, if you’re not busy? I know this great restaurant; I think you’ll really like it.”
“I’m sure I will. Do I have to wear a coat and tie?” Sebastian demanded.
He laughed. “I wouldn’t want to strain your temper that much. No, you don’t have to wear a coat and tie. Wear whatever you want. Why don’t you swing by my place and pick me up? Say about seven o’clock? I want to be chauffeured around in your Jaguar.”
Sebastian snorted, though his eyes gleamed with a light that Eli had never seen there before. It was a light that did funny things to his insides. “I’ll be there. And I’ll be the perfect gentleman,” he added resolutely.
Eli laughed even harder. “Don’t do that, Sebastian. I don’t want you to strain yourself,” he teased, his eyes twinkling. As the photographer huffed in outrage, he went on: “I just want you to be yourself. That’s the way I like you anyway. Don’t try to be something you’re not for me. Just be you.”
Sebastian eyed him, then shrugged. “It’s your funeral,” he growled, making Eli grin.
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