A/N: Jazz is SO super-cute, isn't he? Hee hee. -DL
Chapter 13
Xavier stared thoughtfully at Jazz across the table. The lovely fashion designer was only picking at his food, which was an aberration. While he watched what he ate, what Jazz DID eat he ate with concentration and enthusiasm. Jazz loved food. Xavier frowned to himself. Was something wrong?
"Jazz," he said aloud, making the other man blink and look up at him.
"Yes?" Jazz continued to toy with the linguine on his plate, and Xavier's frown deepened.
"What's the matter?" he asked bluntly.
Jazz dropped his eyes. "Nothing," he said, looking down at his plate.
“Nothing's the matter."
"Come off it, Jazz," Xavier growled. "This is me you're talking to. If there's something bothering you, tell me."
Jazz's shoulders stiffened. He said in a suspiciously casual voice: "I had a talk with my friend Basil the other day, over lunch."
"And?" Xavier asked patiently, watching his bent head.
"He said that he wished that he had a boyfriend like you," Jazz said, twirling some of the linguine onto his fork as though it were important.
"Did he?" Xavier lifted his brows slightly. "And what about that bothered you, Jazz?"
He sighed, his silvery head dipping a little more before he lifted his face to meet Xavier's eyes. "I guess...I never imagined that this would become something serious," he said slowly. "I thought that we'd have lots of great sex, and then..."
"And then you'd dump my ass when you'd had enough," Xavier said with a cold tinge to his voice.
Jazz winced at this very palpable hit. "Maybe," he said defensively.
By 'maybe', Xavier understood that to mean 'yes'. "So what went wrong with your plans, Jazz?" he asked, folding his hands on the tabletop and staring at him across it.
Jazz's mouth tightened. "You," he snapped, glaring at Xavier.
Another lift of a dark brow. "Me? How so?"
Jazz squirmed in his chair visibly. "You just HAD to be really sexy, and kind of nice, and great in bed..." he complained. "It's not fair."
"Fair?" Xavier said, his lips twitching. "All's fair in love and war, Jazz. Guess which one this is?"
Jazz's eyes widened, and he gulped. "Are you...do you...?" he began, his voice rising toward the stratosphere.
Xavier waved a hand at him. "Don't worry yourself, Jazz. It's not that bad, yet. But I'm warning you right now - it will probably become that way, because I want more than just sex. I want everything," his eyes were utterly serious, and they bored into Jazz's. "I want you, Jazz. All of you. And I want a serious relationship, with everything that entails. If you can't handle that, if it scares you too much, run. Run now, because if I get in deeper I won't ever let you go."
Jazz's chest was heaving, and his fingers were clutching at his fork until the skin turned white. He looked like he might consider bolting out of the restaurant right here and now. Xavier waited patiently, still watching him. "How?" Jazz whispered after a long while, "How can you...want that? After the way your ex-boyfriend hurt you?"
Xavier sighed. "Because I'm not going to let that bastard take away my ability to find love, Jazz. He already stole enough from me, I'm not going to let him take that, too. It's too precious. If you're the one I'm meant to be with, and love, for the rest of my life, then I'll accept that with open arms and a deep sense of gratitude toward the universe. And I'll hope that you'll do the same. But it's up to you, Jazz. It depends on what you want, and what you're willing to let yourself need. Are you? Willing to go forward with this, even if it means it might turn deadly serious sometime in the future? Even if it means that you find you can't live without me, that you need to be with me? Are you willing to go down this road with me, Jazz, in spite of what might be at the end of it? Because if you're not, we really need to stop this right now. I'm not interested in just being your sex-friend, Jazz. I want to date you, and make love to you, and decide eventually whether we're meant for each other or not. Now what do you want?"
Jazz took in several trembling breaths. "If I say I don't want that, what then?" he asked, his voice quavering.
Xavier shrugged. "Then I get up and walk out, and you'll never see me again. I've made it clear what I want. If you can't give it to me, then there's no reason for us to go on. You can go back to being a carefree slut, and I'll try to find somebody else."
His words made a look of rage pass over Jazz's face. "You'd go find somebody else to fuck?!" he snarled, taking Xavier rather aback.
"That's kind of how it works, Jazz," he pointed out. "If we're not dating anymore, we won't be having sex anymore. And I still want to find somebody to be a life partner to me, so of course I'll go looking somewhere else..."
"You can't," Jazz hissed furiously.
"Can't I? Does that mean that you're willing to accept the fact that we might actually have a serious relationship sometime in the near future?" Xavier asked, staring keenly at him.
"If I have to," Jazz sniffed. "I WON'T let you fuck anybody else, Xavier. Get that straight in your Neanderthal skull."
His lips lifted in a slight smile, and his eyes took on a wicked gleam. "Feeling possessive, are we, Jazz?" he murmured. "Jealous? That's a good sign."
Jazz glared at him. "Don't be condescending, Xavier."
Xavier chuckled. "I'm just pleased, Jazz. I like you like this. I want you to want me. Danny," he added, a suddenly bleak expression on his craggy face, "Didn't want me enough. Not more than he wanted to get his rocks off with anybody who'd spread his legs for him."
"So why do you want to date somebody who's a proud slut?" Jazz asked him incredulously. "Aren't I as bad as he is?"
Xavier shook his head. "You're honest about who and what you are, Jazz," he replied gently. "That's the difference between you and Danny. He lied to me and cheated on me and made me think that he was in love with me and me alone. He broke my trust. I already know the limits to which I can trust you, and because you're honest I don't have to worry about you pulling a Danny on me. As long as you get lots of good sex, you'll be fine if I'm the only one giving it to you. Right?"
"Well, yes," Jazz conceded.
Xavier shrugged. "There you have it, Jazz. And in turn, I'll be a faithful and honest lover in return. You'll never have to worry about me acting like Ryan, wooing you to your face and catting around behind your back. I really think we could be good together, Jazz. I'd like to try, anyway. Do you want to try?"
Jazz lowered his lashes. He fiddled with his fork again. "I...guess," he said. "I'm scared,” he admitted rather woefully, "But I don't want to give you up. So...yes, I'm willing to try."
"Good," Xavier remarked in satisfaction. "Now that we've cleared that up, let's eat. Your food is getting cold."
Later, in his bedroom, Xavier spent hours pleasuring jazz into a mindless, quivering mass. When he lay in a sweating, limp heap afterward, Xavier pulled his naked form up against his broader one and spooned himself against Jazz. He settled the silvery head on his shoulder, and stroked the sweat-darkened hair tenderly with his fingers. "Now that's incentive, isn't it, Jazz?" he murmured huskily.
He had to agree. He snuggled up against Xavier's muscular body, pushing his nose into the sweaty skin of his shoulder and taking in his musky scent. "Xavier?" he croaked after a long, contented period of silence.
"Hmm?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything at all," Xavier replied, kissing his forehead.
"Can you swear that if we DO end up in some long-term relationship, that the sex won't suffer? We won't become one of those no-sex couples who only hump each others brains out like twice a year, will we?" Jazz asked anxiously.
Silence. Then Xavier began to guffaw heartily, as he pulled Jazz even closer and devoured his pink mouth. "Ah, Jazz, you are adorable," he said when he pulled back.
Jazz only blinked at him dazedly. "What?"
"All you're worried about in a possible future scenario of us becoming a serious couple is whether the sex will suffer? That's why you're adorable," Xavier told him with a wicked smile. "And I promise you, Jazz, come what may I'll want to hump your brains out daily and nightly until I can't get it up anymore. Okay?"
Reassured, Jazz smiled as well. "That's good," he replied happily.
Xavier snorted. "Silly Jazz," he said affectionately. "Let's get some sleep now, hmm? I have to be in peak condition to satisfy my own personal sex fiend constantly."
Morning sunlight awoke Jazz. He stirred, turning a little in the embrace of the strong arm curled around him. Her opened his eyes, seeing Xavier's sleeping face next to him. The other man was lying on his back, his eyes closed. Jazz blinked to clear his eyes, yawning a little, then resumed looking at Xavier's face. He wasn't handsome - not exactly - but his features were strong and compelling. As was his personality. Remembering what they'd talked about in the restaurant last night, he shivered a little. Serious relationship? Love? Maybe even forever? He wasn't sure he was ready for that, but he also knew that he definitely wasn't ready to give Xavier up. The thought of his stallion trying to mount any other 'mare' than him had made him so mad he'd had trouble seeing straight. Maybe it was just for the sex right now, but Xavier belonged to him. So if he had to take commitment and love and all of that other stuff along with it, he'd do so. Because nobody - NOBODY - else had ever done him like Xavier did him. He was hooked, and it was a drug that Jazz suspected he'd never be able to go cold turkey from again.
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Chapter 13
Xavier stared thoughtfully at Jazz across the table. The lovely fashion designer was only picking at his food, which was an aberration. While he watched what he ate, what Jazz DID eat he ate with concentration and enthusiasm. Jazz loved food. Xavier frowned to himself. Was something wrong?
"Jazz," he said aloud, making the other man blink and look up at him.
"Yes?" Jazz continued to toy with the linguine on his plate, and Xavier's frown deepened.
"What's the matter?" he asked bluntly.
Jazz dropped his eyes. "Nothing," he said, looking down at his plate.
“Nothing's the matter."
"Come off it, Jazz," Xavier growled. "This is me you're talking to. If there's something bothering you, tell me."
Jazz's shoulders stiffened. He said in a suspiciously casual voice: "I had a talk with my friend Basil the other day, over lunch."
"And?" Xavier asked patiently, watching his bent head.
"He said that he wished that he had a boyfriend like you," Jazz said, twirling some of the linguine onto his fork as though it were important.
"Did he?" Xavier lifted his brows slightly. "And what about that bothered you, Jazz?"
He sighed, his silvery head dipping a little more before he lifted his face to meet Xavier's eyes. "I guess...I never imagined that this would become something serious," he said slowly. "I thought that we'd have lots of great sex, and then..."
"And then you'd dump my ass when you'd had enough," Xavier said with a cold tinge to his voice.
Jazz winced at this very palpable hit. "Maybe," he said defensively.
By 'maybe', Xavier understood that to mean 'yes'. "So what went wrong with your plans, Jazz?" he asked, folding his hands on the tabletop and staring at him across it.
Jazz's mouth tightened. "You," he snapped, glaring at Xavier.
Another lift of a dark brow. "Me? How so?"
Jazz squirmed in his chair visibly. "You just HAD to be really sexy, and kind of nice, and great in bed..." he complained. "It's not fair."
"Fair?" Xavier said, his lips twitching. "All's fair in love and war, Jazz. Guess which one this is?"
Jazz's eyes widened, and he gulped. "Are you...do you...?" he began, his voice rising toward the stratosphere.
Xavier waved a hand at him. "Don't worry yourself, Jazz. It's not that bad, yet. But I'm warning you right now - it will probably become that way, because I want more than just sex. I want everything," his eyes were utterly serious, and they bored into Jazz's. "I want you, Jazz. All of you. And I want a serious relationship, with everything that entails. If you can't handle that, if it scares you too much, run. Run now, because if I get in deeper I won't ever let you go."
Jazz's chest was heaving, and his fingers were clutching at his fork until the skin turned white. He looked like he might consider bolting out of the restaurant right here and now. Xavier waited patiently, still watching him. "How?" Jazz whispered after a long while, "How can you...want that? After the way your ex-boyfriend hurt you?"
Xavier sighed. "Because I'm not going to let that bastard take away my ability to find love, Jazz. He already stole enough from me, I'm not going to let him take that, too. It's too precious. If you're the one I'm meant to be with, and love, for the rest of my life, then I'll accept that with open arms and a deep sense of gratitude toward the universe. And I'll hope that you'll do the same. But it's up to you, Jazz. It depends on what you want, and what you're willing to let yourself need. Are you? Willing to go forward with this, even if it means it might turn deadly serious sometime in the future? Even if it means that you find you can't live without me, that you need to be with me? Are you willing to go down this road with me, Jazz, in spite of what might be at the end of it? Because if you're not, we really need to stop this right now. I'm not interested in just being your sex-friend, Jazz. I want to date you, and make love to you, and decide eventually whether we're meant for each other or not. Now what do you want?"
Jazz took in several trembling breaths. "If I say I don't want that, what then?" he asked, his voice quavering.
Xavier shrugged. "Then I get up and walk out, and you'll never see me again. I've made it clear what I want. If you can't give it to me, then there's no reason for us to go on. You can go back to being a carefree slut, and I'll try to find somebody else."
His words made a look of rage pass over Jazz's face. "You'd go find somebody else to fuck?!" he snarled, taking Xavier rather aback.
"That's kind of how it works, Jazz," he pointed out. "If we're not dating anymore, we won't be having sex anymore. And I still want to find somebody to be a life partner to me, so of course I'll go looking somewhere else..."
"You can't," Jazz hissed furiously.
"Can't I? Does that mean that you're willing to accept the fact that we might actually have a serious relationship sometime in the near future?" Xavier asked, staring keenly at him.
"If I have to," Jazz sniffed. "I WON'T let you fuck anybody else, Xavier. Get that straight in your Neanderthal skull."
His lips lifted in a slight smile, and his eyes took on a wicked gleam. "Feeling possessive, are we, Jazz?" he murmured. "Jealous? That's a good sign."
Jazz glared at him. "Don't be condescending, Xavier."
Xavier chuckled. "I'm just pleased, Jazz. I like you like this. I want you to want me. Danny," he added, a suddenly bleak expression on his craggy face, "Didn't want me enough. Not more than he wanted to get his rocks off with anybody who'd spread his legs for him."
"So why do you want to date somebody who's a proud slut?" Jazz asked him incredulously. "Aren't I as bad as he is?"
Xavier shook his head. "You're honest about who and what you are, Jazz," he replied gently. "That's the difference between you and Danny. He lied to me and cheated on me and made me think that he was in love with me and me alone. He broke my trust. I already know the limits to which I can trust you, and because you're honest I don't have to worry about you pulling a Danny on me. As long as you get lots of good sex, you'll be fine if I'm the only one giving it to you. Right?"
"Well, yes," Jazz conceded.
Xavier shrugged. "There you have it, Jazz. And in turn, I'll be a faithful and honest lover in return. You'll never have to worry about me acting like Ryan, wooing you to your face and catting around behind your back. I really think we could be good together, Jazz. I'd like to try, anyway. Do you want to try?"
Jazz lowered his lashes. He fiddled with his fork again. "I...guess," he said. "I'm scared,” he admitted rather woefully, "But I don't want to give you up. So...yes, I'm willing to try."
"Good," Xavier remarked in satisfaction. "Now that we've cleared that up, let's eat. Your food is getting cold."
Later, in his bedroom, Xavier spent hours pleasuring jazz into a mindless, quivering mass. When he lay in a sweating, limp heap afterward, Xavier pulled his naked form up against his broader one and spooned himself against Jazz. He settled the silvery head on his shoulder, and stroked the sweat-darkened hair tenderly with his fingers. "Now that's incentive, isn't it, Jazz?" he murmured huskily.
He had to agree. He snuggled up against Xavier's muscular body, pushing his nose into the sweaty skin of his shoulder and taking in his musky scent. "Xavier?" he croaked after a long, contented period of silence.
"Hmm?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Anything at all," Xavier replied, kissing his forehead.
"Can you swear that if we DO end up in some long-term relationship, that the sex won't suffer? We won't become one of those no-sex couples who only hump each others brains out like twice a year, will we?" Jazz asked anxiously.
Silence. Then Xavier began to guffaw heartily, as he pulled Jazz even closer and devoured his pink mouth. "Ah, Jazz, you are adorable," he said when he pulled back.
Jazz only blinked at him dazedly. "What?"
"All you're worried about in a possible future scenario of us becoming a serious couple is whether the sex will suffer? That's why you're adorable," Xavier told him with a wicked smile. "And I promise you, Jazz, come what may I'll want to hump your brains out daily and nightly until I can't get it up anymore. Okay?"
Reassured, Jazz smiled as well. "That's good," he replied happily.
Xavier snorted. "Silly Jazz," he said affectionately. "Let's get some sleep now, hmm? I have to be in peak condition to satisfy my own personal sex fiend constantly."
Morning sunlight awoke Jazz. He stirred, turning a little in the embrace of the strong arm curled around him. Her opened his eyes, seeing Xavier's sleeping face next to him. The other man was lying on his back, his eyes closed. Jazz blinked to clear his eyes, yawning a little, then resumed looking at Xavier's face. He wasn't handsome - not exactly - but his features were strong and compelling. As was his personality. Remembering what they'd talked about in the restaurant last night, he shivered a little. Serious relationship? Love? Maybe even forever? He wasn't sure he was ready for that, but he also knew that he definitely wasn't ready to give Xavier up. The thought of his stallion trying to mount any other 'mare' than him had made him so mad he'd had trouble seeing straight. Maybe it was just for the sex right now, but Xavier belonged to him. So if he had to take commitment and love and all of that other stuff along with it, he'd do so. Because nobody - NOBODY - else had ever done him like Xavier did him. He was hooked, and it was a drug that Jazz suspected he'd never be able to go cold turkey from again.
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