A/N: Many lovely reviews, pretty please. Make your author happy. :) -DL
Chapter 10
Scott walked into his apartment with bags of groceries draped over his arms. He'd just gotten off of work; now that he had no criminal record again, he'd easily managed to get a part-time job as a receptionist. He was saving his money in a bank account separate from the one that Antonio had opened for him, still totally determined to pay his lover back for the lease on this apartment, the spending money, the car he'd leased for Scott...he owed Antonio quite a bit of money, but he knew he'd be able to save up enough to pay him back in time.
He hadn't told Antonio yet that he was trying to pay him back. He knew that it pleased his lover to be able to buy things for him and keep him in comfort. But Scott still felt like a gold-digger whenever he spent Antonio's money, so he just HAD to pay it back no matter how long it took. Being with Antonio was enough for him; he didn't want to be a kept man. He was sure that he could get Antonio to understand that eventually, and take the money when Scott offered it to him.
He took the groceries into the kitchen and began to put them away. He'd make himself dinner in a bit, then take a long, hot bath in the huge sunken tub. he had to admit, if just to himself, that living in the lap of luxury was awesome. Especially since he'd had to live for over two months in a cramped prison cell with no privacy or amenities to be found. While he might pay Antonio back for pampering him like this, he was still going to enjoy it while it lasted.
After his bath, he'd stretch out on the couch in his robe and wait for Antonio's nightly call. They only got to talk for an hour a night, but that was enough for him. Just to hear his lover's voice kept Scott going, although the conjugal visits to the prison were the highlight of each and every one of his weeks. He knew how lucky they were to be able to have sex together even once a week, since they weren't a married couple, and there were no rules that said that a gay couple could have conjugal visits together. If the warden of the prison hadn't been in Antonio's debt, Scott knew that this would have been the longest year of his entire life. Complete celibacy would have sucked, but he would have done it if there had been no other alternative. He didn't want to be with anyone but Antonio.
He changed out of his work clothes and into some comfy sweat pants and a soft t-shirt, then padded back into the kitchen barefoot to start dinner. Since he was only cooking for one, he made a small portion of fettuccine with an olive oil and parmesan sauce, thinking to himself as he worked that he couldn't wait to be able to cook for two instead of one. Only seven more months to go, and then he'd be living with Antonio in this apartment. He was literally counting the days, marking off each one on the calendar that hung in the kitchen.
He took his plate out to the small table near the front window. He sat and watched the street outside as he sipped a glass of wine and ate his pasta and garlic toast, enjoying himself. While he didn't always like to be alone, and he really missed Antonio, at the same time he was used to living by himself. His two months in a jail cell hadn't changed that. It would take some time for him to get used to sharing this apartment with Antonio, but he was really looking forward to making that adjustment.
He treasured his freedom every moment of every day. He couldn’t forget that he'd come close to spending three years in prison for something he hadn't done, surrounded by men who looked at him like they wanted to eat him alive. He had vowed to never even jaywalk after this; there was no way that he was EVER going to go back to that awful place! He'd keep his nose squeaky clean from now on.
His only complaint right now was that he had no friends. He was wary of making new ones after Randy - and after his old ones had all fallen away the moment he was arrested. Not one of them had believed him when he'd tried to protest his innocence. They definitely hadn't been real friends, and now he didn't know who to trust. That made him sad. While Antonio was his best friend, he still would have liked to have had other friends. But could he pick good ones this time? He wasn't sure. Obviously, his instincts where friends were concerned were very bad. Maybe it was better to be alone for awhile, even if it sometimes got very lonely living in this large apartment all by himself with no one to talk to.
Scott finished his dinner, then took a long, hot, luxurious bubble bath. He loved to soak in this tub, and he couldn’t wait to get in here with Antonio. There was definitely room enough for both of them to snuggle in it. It would be so romantic! It would be nice to have some romance in their relationship. It hadn’t exactly been possible to be romantic while living in a prison cell, or taking showers surrounded by a bunch of other prisoners. He had all kinds of plans for when Antonio got out. He was stocking up on scented candles, massage oils, you name it. He had all sorts of things planned out for them once Antonio was released from prison.
Wrapped in a fluffy robe, with his damp hair swathed in a towel and his feet ensconced in warm slippers, he padded out into the living room. He sat down on the couch and switched on the television, turning the volume to 'low'. He stretched out his feet and propped them on the coffee table, setting his cell phone down right next to him.
He was all too aware of how empty the apartment was. That's why he turned on the TV whenever he could, to break up the silence. He wondered if he'd be able to handle it for another seven months without going stir-crazy. But he didn't want to move out - Antonio had picked this place out for him, and was happy that he was living here. Scott didn't want to hurt his feelings.
His phone rang. He scooped it up happily, putting it to his ear. "Hi, Antonio!" he chirped, all of his mild feelings of depression fading away instantly.
"Good evening, Scott," his lover said in his ear. "How are you tonight?"
"Great," he replied, mostly meaning that. Especially now that he got to talk to Antonio.
"And how is work?"
"Pretty good. The usual, really."
Silence on the other end for a moment, then Antonio said softly: "What’s the matter, Mi Tesoro?"
Scott blinked back a sudden bout of tears. He could never hide anything from Antonio, no matter how hard he tried. And having his lover call him Mi Tesoro(which meant 'my treasure' in Spanish), his affectionate nickname for Scott, just made him feel more emotional. "It's nothing," he began.
"Obviously it is something. You sound a bit despondent. Is something bothering you?"
"Okay," he sighed, giving in. "It's just...this apartment is so big and empty without you here! I rattle around in it like a tiny pea in a huge pod, and it just makes me feel even more lonely. I'm sorry, I didn't want to tell you because you picked the place out for me personally..."
"It's fine, Scott. I understand. But there is one thing you could do to make it better, without having to move out of the apartment entirely."
He blinked. "Really? What?"
Antonio laughed. "Get a pet, Mi Tesoro. A cat or a dog, or even a goldfish. Something to keep you company so that you won't feel so alone in that big apartment."
"Oh," Scott said, feeling a little foolish for not thinking of that himself. "That's a good idea. I just didn't think of it because my last apartment didn't allow pets at all. What do you think I should get?"
"A small dog or cat would be appropriate. Either one is fine with me. Go to your local shelter and adopt something. Just don't forget to inform your landlord that you're getting a pet, and pay the pet deposit."
"I will. Thanks, Antonio. It'll be nice to have something else living in this place besides me."
Another bit of silence. Then: "I take it you still have not made any new friends?" Antonio asked him gently.
He blinked back more tears. "No," he said huskily. "I just...it's too hard, Antonio! I can't trust people anymore! When I got arrested for drug possession, none of my old friends believed me when I tried to tell them that those weren’t my drugs! That hurt so bad," he added despondently. "I would have thought that at least ONE of them would have believed in me, would have known me well enough to know that I wouldn't deal drugs. It makes me feel like I'm no good at picking friends."
"I understand that, Scott, truly I do," Antonio said compassionately. "But you must remember that the cocaine WAS found in the tire of your car. No matter how well you might think that you know a friend, when it appears that they've done something awful you begin to question your own judgment. Did I know them well enough? Or at all? He seemed like a nice person, but did he fool me? I'm sure that your old friends felt that way about you when you were not only arrested but convicted of dealing drugs. Tell me, if any of them had been arrested for that, would you have remained their friend after they went to prison for it?"
Scott sat still, his fingers clutching at the phone tightly. "No," he admitted after a moment.
"Indeed. You cannot judge your friends for doing what you would have done, had the situation been reversed, Scott. Please forgive them, and yourself. Then go out and make some new friends - or..."
"Or?"
"Go to your old friends now that the truth is known, and explain what really happened. I'm sure that if they were your true friends, they will be happy to have you come to them and will wish to be your friends again. But that depends on whether you can forgive them or not. It is up to you to decide."
"I'll think about it. Thanks, Antonio," he said gratefully.
"Ah, it is no problem, Scott. I wish for you to have friends and companions to keep you company while I am in here and cannot be with you. I do not want you to be lonely."
He smiled through his tears. "I know you don't. I love you, Antonio."
"And I love you, Scott. Very much. I look forward every day to my release, when I can be with you again. We shall have a very exuberant celebration then."
He giggled. "Champagne, fireworks, you name it?" He teased.
"That is correct. Anything that either you or I desire. Especially...each other," he added in a dark undertone that made Scott's body react quite violently. He had to clamp his teeth shut over a moan. He knew what he'd be doing later tonight. And while it wasn't a quarter as much fun when you did it alone, it was still better than nothing at all...
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Chapter 10
Scott walked into his apartment with bags of groceries draped over his arms. He'd just gotten off of work; now that he had no criminal record again, he'd easily managed to get a part-time job as a receptionist. He was saving his money in a bank account separate from the one that Antonio had opened for him, still totally determined to pay his lover back for the lease on this apartment, the spending money, the car he'd leased for Scott...he owed Antonio quite a bit of money, but he knew he'd be able to save up enough to pay him back in time.
He hadn't told Antonio yet that he was trying to pay him back. He knew that it pleased his lover to be able to buy things for him and keep him in comfort. But Scott still felt like a gold-digger whenever he spent Antonio's money, so he just HAD to pay it back no matter how long it took. Being with Antonio was enough for him; he didn't want to be a kept man. He was sure that he could get Antonio to understand that eventually, and take the money when Scott offered it to him.
He took the groceries into the kitchen and began to put them away. He'd make himself dinner in a bit, then take a long, hot bath in the huge sunken tub. he had to admit, if just to himself, that living in the lap of luxury was awesome. Especially since he'd had to live for over two months in a cramped prison cell with no privacy or amenities to be found. While he might pay Antonio back for pampering him like this, he was still going to enjoy it while it lasted.
After his bath, he'd stretch out on the couch in his robe and wait for Antonio's nightly call. They only got to talk for an hour a night, but that was enough for him. Just to hear his lover's voice kept Scott going, although the conjugal visits to the prison were the highlight of each and every one of his weeks. He knew how lucky they were to be able to have sex together even once a week, since they weren't a married couple, and there were no rules that said that a gay couple could have conjugal visits together. If the warden of the prison hadn't been in Antonio's debt, Scott knew that this would have been the longest year of his entire life. Complete celibacy would have sucked, but he would have done it if there had been no other alternative. He didn't want to be with anyone but Antonio.
He changed out of his work clothes and into some comfy sweat pants and a soft t-shirt, then padded back into the kitchen barefoot to start dinner. Since he was only cooking for one, he made a small portion of fettuccine with an olive oil and parmesan sauce, thinking to himself as he worked that he couldn't wait to be able to cook for two instead of one. Only seven more months to go, and then he'd be living with Antonio in this apartment. He was literally counting the days, marking off each one on the calendar that hung in the kitchen.
He took his plate out to the small table near the front window. He sat and watched the street outside as he sipped a glass of wine and ate his pasta and garlic toast, enjoying himself. While he didn't always like to be alone, and he really missed Antonio, at the same time he was used to living by himself. His two months in a jail cell hadn't changed that. It would take some time for him to get used to sharing this apartment with Antonio, but he was really looking forward to making that adjustment.
He treasured his freedom every moment of every day. He couldn’t forget that he'd come close to spending three years in prison for something he hadn't done, surrounded by men who looked at him like they wanted to eat him alive. He had vowed to never even jaywalk after this; there was no way that he was EVER going to go back to that awful place! He'd keep his nose squeaky clean from now on.
His only complaint right now was that he had no friends. He was wary of making new ones after Randy - and after his old ones had all fallen away the moment he was arrested. Not one of them had believed him when he'd tried to protest his innocence. They definitely hadn't been real friends, and now he didn't know who to trust. That made him sad. While Antonio was his best friend, he still would have liked to have had other friends. But could he pick good ones this time? He wasn't sure. Obviously, his instincts where friends were concerned were very bad. Maybe it was better to be alone for awhile, even if it sometimes got very lonely living in this large apartment all by himself with no one to talk to.
Scott finished his dinner, then took a long, hot, luxurious bubble bath. He loved to soak in this tub, and he couldn’t wait to get in here with Antonio. There was definitely room enough for both of them to snuggle in it. It would be so romantic! It would be nice to have some romance in their relationship. It hadn’t exactly been possible to be romantic while living in a prison cell, or taking showers surrounded by a bunch of other prisoners. He had all kinds of plans for when Antonio got out. He was stocking up on scented candles, massage oils, you name it. He had all sorts of things planned out for them once Antonio was released from prison.
Wrapped in a fluffy robe, with his damp hair swathed in a towel and his feet ensconced in warm slippers, he padded out into the living room. He sat down on the couch and switched on the television, turning the volume to 'low'. He stretched out his feet and propped them on the coffee table, setting his cell phone down right next to him.
He was all too aware of how empty the apartment was. That's why he turned on the TV whenever he could, to break up the silence. He wondered if he'd be able to handle it for another seven months without going stir-crazy. But he didn't want to move out - Antonio had picked this place out for him, and was happy that he was living here. Scott didn't want to hurt his feelings.
His phone rang. He scooped it up happily, putting it to his ear. "Hi, Antonio!" he chirped, all of his mild feelings of depression fading away instantly.
"Good evening, Scott," his lover said in his ear. "How are you tonight?"
"Great," he replied, mostly meaning that. Especially now that he got to talk to Antonio.
"And how is work?"
"Pretty good. The usual, really."
Silence on the other end for a moment, then Antonio said softly: "What’s the matter, Mi Tesoro?"
Scott blinked back a sudden bout of tears. He could never hide anything from Antonio, no matter how hard he tried. And having his lover call him Mi Tesoro(which meant 'my treasure' in Spanish), his affectionate nickname for Scott, just made him feel more emotional. "It's nothing," he began.
"Obviously it is something. You sound a bit despondent. Is something bothering you?"
"Okay," he sighed, giving in. "It's just...this apartment is so big and empty without you here! I rattle around in it like a tiny pea in a huge pod, and it just makes me feel even more lonely. I'm sorry, I didn't want to tell you because you picked the place out for me personally..."
"It's fine, Scott. I understand. But there is one thing you could do to make it better, without having to move out of the apartment entirely."
He blinked. "Really? What?"
Antonio laughed. "Get a pet, Mi Tesoro. A cat or a dog, or even a goldfish. Something to keep you company so that you won't feel so alone in that big apartment."
"Oh," Scott said, feeling a little foolish for not thinking of that himself. "That's a good idea. I just didn't think of it because my last apartment didn't allow pets at all. What do you think I should get?"
"A small dog or cat would be appropriate. Either one is fine with me. Go to your local shelter and adopt something. Just don't forget to inform your landlord that you're getting a pet, and pay the pet deposit."
"I will. Thanks, Antonio. It'll be nice to have something else living in this place besides me."
Another bit of silence. Then: "I take it you still have not made any new friends?" Antonio asked him gently.
He blinked back more tears. "No," he said huskily. "I just...it's too hard, Antonio! I can't trust people anymore! When I got arrested for drug possession, none of my old friends believed me when I tried to tell them that those weren’t my drugs! That hurt so bad," he added despondently. "I would have thought that at least ONE of them would have believed in me, would have known me well enough to know that I wouldn't deal drugs. It makes me feel like I'm no good at picking friends."
"I understand that, Scott, truly I do," Antonio said compassionately. "But you must remember that the cocaine WAS found in the tire of your car. No matter how well you might think that you know a friend, when it appears that they've done something awful you begin to question your own judgment. Did I know them well enough? Or at all? He seemed like a nice person, but did he fool me? I'm sure that your old friends felt that way about you when you were not only arrested but convicted of dealing drugs. Tell me, if any of them had been arrested for that, would you have remained their friend after they went to prison for it?"
Scott sat still, his fingers clutching at the phone tightly. "No," he admitted after a moment.
"Indeed. You cannot judge your friends for doing what you would have done, had the situation been reversed, Scott. Please forgive them, and yourself. Then go out and make some new friends - or..."
"Or?"
"Go to your old friends now that the truth is known, and explain what really happened. I'm sure that if they were your true friends, they will be happy to have you come to them and will wish to be your friends again. But that depends on whether you can forgive them or not. It is up to you to decide."
"I'll think about it. Thanks, Antonio," he said gratefully.
"Ah, it is no problem, Scott. I wish for you to have friends and companions to keep you company while I am in here and cannot be with you. I do not want you to be lonely."
He smiled through his tears. "I know you don't. I love you, Antonio."
"And I love you, Scott. Very much. I look forward every day to my release, when I can be with you again. We shall have a very exuberant celebration then."
He giggled. "Champagne, fireworks, you name it?" He teased.
"That is correct. Anything that either you or I desire. Especially...each other," he added in a dark undertone that made Scott's body react quite violently. He had to clamp his teeth shut over a moan. He knew what he'd be doing later tonight. And while it wasn't a quarter as much fun when you did it alone, it was still better than nothing at all...
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