Chapter 8
Traggen shook his head. What had that been all about? J’Dran had seemed very tense and upset. But if it was that simple to get a divorce among his folk, why would the wereleopard have acted that way? He decided to ask Z’sharan about it. He went back into the house, approaching the bathing room and knocking discreetly at the door. His uncle’s voice called out: “Come in.”
He opened the door, seeing Avhonari, Z’sharan, and K’var all in the bath together. He chose not to stare at them, looking instead at a shelf nearby. “I hate to bother you, but I wanted to ask Z’sharan something,” he explained politely.
“Of course. What is it, cub?” Z’sharan asked.
“Well, J’Dran’s gone to get us a divorce. I was wondering why he seemed so worked up about it,” Traggen said.
A puzzled silence. “What is a divorce?” Z’sharan asked.
“Among my people, a divorce is the dissolution of a marriage or union between two people,” Avhonari explained to his mate.
“You say that J’Dran has gone to get one of these things? I do not understand.”
“Well, he said that he was going to declare to your Elders that we aren’t mates, that that will take care of everything,” Traggen said.
“WHAT?!” this shrieked made everyone jump, and Traggen turned his head to meet a pair of wide golden eyes. Z’sharan looked shocked and horrified. “He’s done what?!”
“Err…” Traggen was baffled, and Avhonari and K’var looked confused as well. The wereleopard pulled himself together enough to explain.
“What you are speaking of is very seldom done, Traggen,” he said tightly. “And there is a very good reason why. To break up a mating is a very serious matter. You are supposed to go into a mating sure of yourself and your mate, and for something like this to happen means that you’ve both failed. To discourage frivolous matings, the Elders of the tribes passed a law forbidding those who have dissolved a mating from ever entering into another one again. So you can see why we are very careful about choosing our mates and entering into a mating. No one wants to be forbidden to ever take another mate because they made a mistake the first time. It means that J’Dran will be alone for the rest of his life, forbidden anything but casual couplings. He will never have a family. That is why I was so angry with him for declaring you to be his mate when he had never even discussed it with you. And now this has come to pass…” the grief in his voice made K’var whimper a little, and Avhonari looked sad.
Traggen felt like he’d been kicked in the gut. Z’sharan wasn’t blaming him for all of this, but he still felt partially responsible. Of course some of the blame lay on J’Dran himself for impulsively doing something that he shouldn’t have, but it looked like he was going to be the one to suffer for his actions. For the rest of his natural life, apparently. To never have anyone special, no family…Traggen had even intended to have one of those when his mother finally died, and he was free. He growled a little, balling his hands into fists at his sides. “What an idiot!” he yelled, making them all stare at him in startlement.
“Traggen?” Avhonari asked questioningly.
“Doing something this stupid without explaining it to me…AGAIN! When will he ever learn? I’m going to kick his ass!”
Z’sharan said cautiously: “Then…you object to J’Dran doing this?”
“Yes, I object to him doing this!” Traggen yelled furiously. “He’s going destroy his whole life just because he never thinks to tell me anything! I swear to the Gods, I am going to skin him and use his spotted hide as a throw rug!"
Z’sharan blinked, and then turned to his son. “K’var, get out and get dressed. Run to the village as fast as you can, Change if you have to. Find your Uncle J’Dran and tell him to wait before going to the Elders. Go, cub!”
K’var scrambled out of the bath and ran light-footedly out of the bathing room. Traggen looked at Z’sharan. “We’ll follow him,” the wereleopard said, “But he’ll be faster. He might be able to stop J’Dran before he goes to the Elders. That is…if you really want to stop him?” he looked keenly at Traggen.
He hesitated, but then nodded slowly. “We’ll have to talk, maybe work some things out,” he began. “I don’t know what will happen. But I don’t want J’Dran to destroy his life just because I’m angry with him.”
Z’sharan nodded, leaping out of the bathing pool. “Then let us go, Traggen, and stop my brother from being his usual idiotic self,” he said dryly as they left the bathing room together.
K’var ran panting through the jungle, his feet deftly finding every good spot on the path. He’d been down it so many times that he could have run in blindfolded by now. His golden eyes were set straight forward, and he was determined to get to the village and stop his uncle from doing the bad thing that had so horrified his father. K’var loved his Uncle J’Dran, and he didn’t want his relative to be hurt even by his own bad decisions. He leapt over a fallen log and darted through a hole in the foliage, knowing that he was near his destination now.
He speeded up his pace even more, knowing that he’d be exhausted by the time he got there but desperate to go as fast as he possibly could. He didn’t even want to take the time to Change, for every second counted. The muscles in his legs burned, and his lungs labored a bit. But he refused to slow down, and soon enough he saw the break in the trees ahead of him that signaled the edge of the village he felt a spurt of weary joy, pushing himself forward and into the clearing with the last of his strength. Then he was there, and he stopped in his tracks as he looked around for his uncle. His breath sawed in-and-out of his throat, and his chest heaved as he fought to get his breath back. Where was J’Dran? Had he gone to the Elders already?
K’var stumbled toward a hunter kneeling next to the stream. “Please,” he croaked. “have you seen my uncle J’Dran?”
The hunter looked up. “Hello, cub. No, I haven’t seen him,” the hunter replied casually.
K’var felt his heart sink. But just then, a female walked down to fill a clay pot with water. She said: “J’Dran? Yes, I saw him. He’s over there,” she pointed to the left through the trees.
“Thank you!” K’var cried happily. He darted away, not caring how tired he was. The male hunter and the female exchanged puzzled glances behind him.
K’var hurried to where the female had pointed. He saw a familiar figure sitting slumped on a gnarled root that had been smoothed into a sort of bench. J’Dran’s whole body conveyed sadness and depression. K’var ran up to him, saying hoarsely: “Uncle J’Dran! Uncle J’Dran!”
J’Dran looked up in surprise, blinking at the sight of a red-faced and tired-looking K’var. “Cub? What is it?” he asked in concern. “is there anything wrong?”
K’var nodded. “Father says not to go to the Elders!” he cried, nearly wringing his hands. “He sent me to stop you!”
J’Dran’s brows rose. “Z’sharan said that?”
K’var nodded vigorously. J’Dran frowned. “I don’t see why he’d try to stop me. It’s my decision,” he muttered mutinously.
“Father only sent me after Cousin Traggen got mad,” K’var piped up.
Now J’Dran looked baffled. “Angry? Why?” he asked in confusion.
“Father explained to him about what it meant for you to go to the Elders. And he got mad and yelled that he was going to skin you and use your spotted hide for a rug,” K’var said earnestly.
J’Dran’s jaw dropped. “Traggen said that? I don’t understand why he’d be mad. I’m just doing what will set him free to find another mate,” he said in agitation, running his clawed hand through his hair.
“He was angry because he said you never tell him things,” K’var said helpfully.
J’Dran’s shoulders tightened defensively. “Well, I suppose that I don’t,” he muttered. “But he’s just so…stubborn and irritating!”
“Don’t you like him? Don’t you want him to be your mate?” K’var asked in confusion of his own.
J’Dran sighed, reaching out to pull the cub onto his lap and run a soothing hand down his back. “Yes to both questions, cub. But I went about it the wrong way, and now Traggen hates me. It just seemed best to get this whole farce over with and set him free,” he added wearily.
K’var put his arms around his uncle’s neck. “I don’t think that Cousin Traggen hates you,” he said stoutly.
J’Dran blinked. “You don’t?”
K’var shook his head. “No. I don’t think that he’d have gotten so mad when he found out what would happen if you went to the Elders if he hated you. Wouldn’t he just be glad that you were ending the mating? He yelled awfully loud,” the cub went on earnestly.
J’Dran frowned. “You have a point, cub,” he said slowly. He sighed. “What now?”
“We should wait for Father and Cousin Traggen. Then maybe you can talk to him,” K’var said, nestling up to his uncle’s big form trustingly.
J’Dran laughed tiredly. “You’ll make an excellent mediator some day, cub,” he teased.
Traggen tried to hurry to keep up with Z’sharan, but he kept falling behind. The wereleopard seemed to have boundless amounts of strength and energy. He panted and cursed J’Dran inside his head, not having to the breath to do so aloud. He was going to kill that spotted bastard when he got his hands on him! Dumb ass was always doing stupid things, then acted surprised when he got yelled at. J’Dran didn’t have the brains the Gods had given a turnip.
He groaned, his legs feeling wobbly, as they continued at the punishing pace that Z’sharan was setting. Maybe he’d just fall down here and now, and what would happen would happen. It would serve J’Dran right, the lummox. He wasn’t going to kill himself to stop that wretched wereleopard from destroying his life. Yes, right. That’s why he kept going long after he wanted to fall down and die on the spot…
Z’sharan made a sound of satisfaction, and a weary Traggen looked up and blinked sweat out of his eye’s. His joy at seeing the village appear before them was so intense that it nearly overwhelmed him. Thank the Gods! He didn’t think that he could have taken much more. As it was, he tottered into the clearing and stood there with his hands on his knees, trying to breathe and not fall over. Z’sharan looked none the worse for wear as he hurried over to speak to several people, asking them about J’Dran. Traggen decided distantly that he hated Z’sharan.
The wereleopard came back to him. “J’Dran is over there. K’var’s with him,” he said, sounding hopeful. “Perhaps the cub got here before he went to speak to the Elders.”
“Okay,” Traggen groaned, trying to straighten up and not entirely succeeding. He limped after Z’sharan as the wereleopard moved off swiftly toward the place where his brother was supposed to be, once more cursing J’Dran foully as he put a hand to his abused back. The things he did for great sex!
He saw J’Dran sitting on a tree root with K’var in his lap. The cub cried out gleefully and jumped off of his uncle when he saw them, running over to greet them. “Uncle J’Dran didn’t go to the Elders!” he cried happily.
Z’sharan caught him up and hugged him. “You did a great job, K’var,” he praised his child. The boy beamed as Traggen half-staggered past him with a black look on his face. J’Dran began to look apprehensive as the human approached him.
“J’Dran. We need to talk,” Traggen hissed, all the anger he felt reverberating in his voice.
The wereleopard cringed, a rather amusing sight in someone so large and muscular. “Traggen…” he began helplessly.
“Let’s go somewhere where we can speak alone,” Traggen said. “Now.”
J’Dran got to his feet and led the way out of the clearing, his shoulders dropping. If he’d had a tail it would have been tucked between his legs right now. If he hadn’t been so mad, Traggen would have laughed. But he stayed silent as they reached a smaller clearing, much like the one that they‘d had sex in for the first time. Then J’Dran turned to face him like a man going to his inevitable doom.
Traggen folded his arms over his chest. “So,” he said stonily. “You thought that it would be a great idea to just go off and ruin your whole life without explaining the situation to me? Even though not explaining anything to me was what got you in this mess in the first place? Is that about right?”
J’Dran twitched and spread his hands helplessly. “It just seemed for the best…” he began. “You were so angry at me, and you wouldn’t accept our mating…”
Traggen breathed through his nose and tried to control his temper. “That’s because you gave me no choice,” he said harshly. “You just declared us mates and that was supposed to be that. You didn’t even say: Hey, Traggen, would you like to be my mate? Before you told everybody that I WAS your mate. Can you imagine how mad you’d be if someone did that to you? No matter how much you liked them or were attracted to them, you’d still be pretty pissed off. Come on, admit it.”
J’Dran thought about what he’d said, then his whole body drooped even further. “Yes,” he said unhappily. “I’m sorry, Traggen. But if I go to the Elders…”
“If you go to the Elders, you can never take another mate,” Traggen snapped. “You’d destroy your entire future without even talking to me YET AGAIN. Do you think that I’m so heartless that I want to see you left alone with no family just because I’m mad at you? If you’d have explained any of this to me, we might have worked it out. But no – you had to just go off by yourself without consulting me. You know, dim wit, if we ever were to become mates do you really think that I would tolerate you just doing whatever you wanted with no input from me? Especially when it concerns my future too? Don’t mates help one another, think of one another’s needs, and talk to each other about things? Or am I misinterpreting the relationship between Z’sharan and Uncle Avhonari?”
J’Dran looked flummoxed. Clearly he’d never thought about these things. “Erm…” he said, squirming like a misbehaving schoolboy. “I didn’t think…”
“Story of your life,” Traggen remarked dryly. “Listen, J’Dran. I still don’t know whether I want to be your mate or not, but knowing the penalties for ending our mating I’m willing to think about it long and hard. But you’ve got to give me some room and space to think about it. You kept pushing and pushing, that was what was driving me crazy. You wanted me to accept it right away, and how could I? Especially since I had no say in the matter originally. Do you think that you could back off and give me some room to really think and decide? Because if you can, then maybe we can work something out between us. This is your whole life we’re talking about. And mine, too, if I decide I want to be your mate after all. Don’t you think that something this important should have time and effort put into it?”
J’Dran nodded his head slowly. “You’re right,” he said. “I really am sorry, Traggen. I guess I lost my head. I was so angry and jealous when R’Vas had his hand on you that I didn’t think at all…and since then I’ve just wanted to make you admit that you’re my mate, to claim you. But I don’t own you, you need the freedom to make your own decisions. Even if that includes deciding that you don’t want me. I’ll back off, I swear.”
Traggen looked satisfied. “That’s all I needed to hear,” he said as he stepped toward J’Dran. “But you don’t have to back off totally,” he added with a faintly sultry look up at the surprised wereleopard. “There are still things you can do to make me more amenable to the whole idea,” his eyes gleamed with a wicked look of desire in their depths, and J’Dran drew in a sharp breath as his body responded automatically.
“I can so that,” he replied breathlessly.
Traggen’s smile widened. “See that you do,” he purred.
Z’sharan and K’var looked up hopefully when the two of them finally emerged from the trees. Z’sharan felt pleased to see that both J’Dran and Traggen looked less angry and happier than they had when they’d left together to talk. He stood up as his cub bounced to his feet beside him. “How did it go?” he asked.
“We’ve agreed to keep talking, and J’Dran’s going to give me some space to think about this whole thing,” Traggen told him.
“That’s excellent news. I’m glad to hear that my brother has decided to be reasonable,” Z’sharan added with a chiding look at J’Dran.
J’Dran flinched a bit. “I don’t think it was a case of being unreasonable so much as the fact that he doesn’t think as much as he should,” Traggen said acerbically, making J’Dran glower at him.
Z’sharan’s lips twitched. “I see. Very well, do you think we might go home now? Avhonari will want to know what happened, and I’d like to finish my bath.”
“Yes. I’m sure that J’Dran and I can do some ‘talking’,” Traggen said, and the insinuation in his voice was clear.
Z’sharan was amused to see his brother looking rather flustered, since he was usually very open about sexual matters. “Come on, then. K’var, do you want to ride on my back?” he added, for the cub looked rather tired.
“Yes, Father!” K’var cried, brightening up.
Z’sharan helped the cub to scramble up onto his back and cling there, draping the boy’s legs over his arms. Traggen looked up at J’Dran. “Are you going to offer me a piggyback ride?” he asked.
J’Dran looked uncertain. “Do you want one?”
The human snorted. “Yes. I’m tired too, you know. I wore myself out trying to get here in time to stop you from doing something very stupid. The least you can do is carry me.”
“J’Dran scowled at him even as he picked Traggen up and slung him onto his back. “I am not stupid,” he growled.
“Did I say you were?” the human asked lazily as he draped his arms around J’Dran’s neck. “You just do stupid things, there’s a difference. If you’d stop and think once in awhile, you’d be a lot better off. Take my word for it, I used to be just like that. I didn’t think too often before I did things, and I managed to screw my life up royally. Don’t make the same mistakes as I did, you won’t be happy if you do.”
“I’ll take your advice,” J’Dran said slowly as he carried Traggen out of the village on his back.
A pat on his shoulder. “See? You’re getting smarter all the time,” Traggen replied.
“Now hold your blade like that…and extend it…” Traggen instructed. “That’s good. I‘m going to attack you, and I want you to block me. Do you think that you can do that? Okay, here goes,” he swung his wooden practice blade at his opponent, and shook his head over the clumsy, awkward block that barely stopped it. “You’ve got to do better than that,” he lectured.
“You can do it, Uncle J’Dran!” a light voice piped up. Traggen grinned as his opponent first smiled at his watching nephew, and then scowled at his instructor. The wereleopard wasn’t happy about the fact that the cub was already ten times better than he was at this. He didn’t like looking a fool in front of Traggen, who already ragged on him enough as it was about other things without more fuel for his teasing. J’Dran cursed himself silently as Traggen resumed a fighting stance.
“Let’s run through it again,” he said patiently.
The wereleopard also resumed the basic stance that Traggen had shown him, wishing that he hadn’t let K’var talk him into trying this very human exercise. He could see the way the dark-blue eyes were gleaming, and it made him want to snarl. Traggen was laughing at him again.
Still, he thought as Traggen began to show him once again how to block, this was better than it had been before even with the teasing. Traggen wasn’t angry with him anymore now that they’d come to a compromise; he never mentioned the mating, and while he and Traggen talked a good deal they left that particular subject alone for now. He was giving the human time and space to decide whether he wanted to accept the mating or not. The only way that J’Dran forwarded his cause at the moment was having lots and lots of hot, nasty sex with the human. And that wasn’t an onerous thing at all… His cock twitched pleasantly at the thought of their last bout of sex, which had been this morning. J’Dran had snuck into Traggen’s room and had begun seducing the still-sleeping human before Traggen was aware of what was happening. He’d liked the sleepy little moans that had poured from Traggen’s throat as he’d licked all of that white skin lovingly. And the whimpers as he’d slid inside from behind, while plucking at Traggen’s nipples with his clawed fingertips… Mmm, yes. That had been far better than this.
He’d made the mistake of coming out to watch Traggen’s lessons with K’var this morning, and the cub had begged him to try it too. He should have known better, he thought with an internal sigh. Nothing that had to do with Traggen was ever easy for him. He yelped, drawn out of his thoughts as a wooden practice blade smacked him in the leg. “Pay attention,” Traggen chided him. “If you got distracted like that in battle, you’d be a dead.” J’Dran glowered at Traggen, but the human merely shrugged and resumed a waiting stance. J’Dran hissed through his teeth and prepared himself for another clumsy attack on his part. He simply couldn’t get the hang of using a piece of metal (or wood, in this case) to attack someone with. That’s what you had claws for, right? But if K’var could do it, by the Spirits so could he!
Well, apparently not. An hour later, he was hot, tired, frustrated, and completely infuriated. J’Dran handed Traggen the wooden practice sword without a word, then turned and walked off into the jungle to cool down his temper before he snapped at either the cub or his oh-so-infuriating mate. Traggen stood and watched him go, as K’var clambered to his feet.
“Where’s Uncle J’Dran going?” he asked Traggen. The human sighed, putting both blades under his arm as he looked at the cub.
“He’s probably gone to dunk his head in a stream,” he said dryly. “I don’t think that he likes the fact that he’s not very good at this. I think that he’s used to being good at a lot of things, so it’s hard for him to find something he’s not particularly good at at all.”
“Oh. He isn’t very good, is he?” K’var said, looking at the jungle where it had swallowed his uncle’s tall form.
“No, cub, he isn’t,” Traggen replied honestly. “And he probably never will be more than proficient, if that. But that doesn’t matter, does it? He’s a great hunter and provider, and that’s way more important. Right?”
K’var brightened up. He hadn’t been happy about the fact that his uncle was upset. “Right!” he cried.
Traggen nodded as they started toward the house together. “Maybe you should remind him of that when you see him next,” he urged K’var. “It might make him feel better, coming from you. If I try to tell him that, he’ll think that I feel sorry for him. Which I don’t. Well, not about that, anyway. The fact that he lacks a real brain, now that I might feel sorry about…”
K’var giggled. “That’s not nice, Cousin Traggen,” he said between giggles.
"The truth is seldom nice, cub,” Traggen replied drolly.
He was sitting on the porch later while K’var was taking a nap and his uncle was busy writing in his study. He looked up as a familiar figure came out of the jungle, and walked up to the house. Traggen eyed J’Dran, seeing that he looked far less angry and frustrated than he had when he’d entered the jungle hours earlier. And if he wasn’t mistaken, that was blood flecking the sides of his mouth…clearly the wereleopard had taken out his bad mood on some unsuspecting prey.
“Get it out of your system?” he asked.
J’Dran snorted. “Yes. I should have known better than to try one of your human things, anyway,” he added in disgust. “You humans do the strangest things.”
“Says the man who turns into a giant predator,” noted Traggen dryly.
J’Dran came and sat down on the bench next to him. “That is not strange at all,” he replied.
“Maybe not for you, but we humans find it pretty strange,” Traggen pointed out amiably.
“Hmph. Where’s the cub?”
“Napping. And my uncle is busy writing his book, as usual. So it’s just us,” Traggen told him with a faint undertone in his voice that caught J’Dran’s attention instantly.
“Oh?” he said casually, even as his clawed hand came to rest on Traggen’s thigh. “So what shall we do to pass the time?”
“I can’t imagine,” the human said drolly, just before falling silent because for some strange reason, something was covering his mouth…
“Traggen? Might I talk to you?” Avhonari’s voice made Traggen look up from his task of sharpening his sword.
His hands halted as he replied. “Of course, Uncle. Please sit down,” he nodded at the bench beside him.
Avhonari seated himself beside his young relative. “I wanted to speak to you about J’Dran,” he began, surprising Traggen. In the weeks since the whole mating fiasco, Avhonari had been careful to stay out of the whole thing. Clearly he thought that Traggen and J’Dran should work it out for themselves.
“What about him?” Traggen asked curiously, setting his unsheathed sword carefully in his lap.
Avhonari considered his next words carefully. “I was wondering if you’ve come to any decision about whether you will accept the mating or not,” he began slowly.
Traggen sighed. “Not really. It’s just so difficult. I mean, J’Dran is a great lover and fun to be around when he’s not being irritating – which is most of the time – but does that mean that I want to be mated to him for life? I’m not sure. And this is such an important, life-altering decision that I don’t want to rush into it.”
“I agree,” Avhonari said, giving him an approving look. “You really have grown up a good deal in the last there years, Nephew. I was hoping that you’d say that you hadn’t come to a decision yet: I want you to take your time and be really sure. For while it would be terrible if J’Dran has to renounce your mating and live alone, if that’s what it comes to then that is what must be. Your happiness has to be considered just as much as his. And if you really decide that you wouldn’t be happy as his mate, then you must do what you must do. No matter what.”
Traggen stared at him, startled. “I thought for sure that both you and Z’sharan would push me to accept no matter what,” he said.
Avhonari shook his head. “No, of course not. While both of us wish for J’Dran to be happy, it should not come at the expense of YOUR happiness. And since J’Dran initiated this mating without your approval or consent, if he must pay the price for his foolish actions then so be it. Z’sharan agrees with me on this.”
“Thank you,” Traggen said slowly. “I’m glad to know that. You’ve eased my mind, Uncle.”
Avhonari smiled and patted his thigh. “I’m glad, Traggen. I don’t want you to worry or fret over this matter. Matings should be happy things, entered into with the full consent of both parties. Perhaps one day we will truly celebrate this mating, but unless and until that happens we will merely be here to support both of you. You can count on that.”
“I will. And you have my thanks once again,” Traggen said gratefully. Avhonari rose to his feet.
“I must see to dinner and getting K’var washed up,” he said. “But remember, Traggen. I am your family, and so are Z’sharan and K’var. We will always be here for you,” and he smiled before sweeping into the house, leaving Traggen feeling rather moist-eyed as he looked down at the sword resting in his lap.
Fall, or what passed for it, was coming to these lands. Traggen was grateful for the break in the heat, which had been sultry and oppressive. He was sitting on the porch one day, watching J’Dran wrestle with K’var and wondering where the two wereleopards got the energy in this heat, when he heard the sound of hooves on the narrow track leading from the village. He glanced over; shading his eyes, and saw a man riding toward the house. He was wearing livery – familiar livery. Traggen felt his heart sink when he saw the colors of green and gold on the man’s tunic and breeches. It seemed that his mother was contacting him at long last.
Avhonari came out of the house, his dark eyes also looking down the road. The man came up to the porch as J’Dran and K’var started toward the horse, then stopped as the beast reared and began to fight as the thick smell of leopard filled its nostrils. The messenger got the beast back under control with difficulty as Traggen spoke to him: “Have you come with a message from my mother?"
“Yes, My Lord,” the messenger replied. He pulled a letter out of his pouch and handed it to Traggen without dismounting. “I was told to tell you that you needn’t reply,” he said. “So I’ll just be going,” he touched his cap and turned the horse, riding away back down the track.
Traggen held the letter and stared down at it. Why had his mother told the messenger to tell him that? What did it say? The only way to know was to read it. He steeled himself and broke the seal, unfolded the missive. It was written in his mother’s firm, bold hand, and he began to scan it warily. His eyes widened, and the fingers holding the letter began to tremble. Avhonari gave him a concerned look as his nephew went pale, and both J’Dran and K’var started toward him.
“What is it? Traggen?” J’Dran asked worriedly. The human lowered the letter. His face was ghost-white, and his eyes were blank.
“I never thought that she’d do it,” he said softly in a hollow voice. “I mean, she always said that she would, but I thought…” he put a hand to his mouth to cover his trembling lips.
“Traggen? What has she done?!” Avhonari cried, now very worried.
Silently he held the letter out to his uncle. Avhonari took it, scanning the contents quickly. He cried out when he came to a certain passage, and J’Dran demanded: “What is it? What does the writing say?”
Avhonari shook his head like a man in a dream. A bad one. “My sister has disowned Traggen,” he said in a sickly tone of voice.
J’Dran looked confused. “What does that mean?” he asked in puzzlement.
“To disown someone is to never see them again, to pretend that they never existed,” Avhonari said sadly. “In other words, as far as she is concerned she never had a son named Traggen.”
Horror washed over the faces of the two wereleopards. They had never heard of anything so awful before – their culture had nothing like it, and couldn’t even grasp of the concept of a parent deciding that they had never had a child. Children were valued and adored in their tribe. J’Dran growled softly, a deadly sound. “How could a mother do that?” he asked, looking at Avhonari. “It does not seem possible!”
“Among our people, sadly it is,” Avhonari told him in a weary voice.
J’Dran bared his teeth, even as he stepped toward Traggen and put his arms protectively around the human’s smaller figure. “Please go,” he told Avhonari and K’var. “Leave us alone for now.”
Avhonari nodded and took his son’s hand, leading K’var away into the house with a last backward glance fill of anxiety. J’Dran picked up Traggen as though he were a doll, and walked over to the bench. He sat down on it with Traggen in his lap, his clawed hand stroking the human’s black curls. Traggen sat passively, not protesting his actions. That in itself was a very worrisome thing to J’Dran. Usually Traggen would have been yelling at the top of his lungs about being carried around like a baby. “Traggen, little one,” he said into the human’s ear, “Listen to me now. That person may have birthed you, but she is not your mother. Your real family is here, and we love you. I love you.” He nosed into the black curls as he continued: “I would be your mate for the rest of my days, Traggen. It was not just an impulsive decision that day – in my heart; I knew that you were meant to be mine. My mate, my family, mine. Accept the mating, please. Stay with me and your family. This is where you belong.” His earnest words got through to Traggen. The human lifted his too-pale face and looked into J’Dran’s. His eyes searched the golden ones above him, seeing only honesty and sincerity in them.
“I…” he began hoarsely. A clawed finger gently skimmed his cheek.
“Don’t be afraid. I will never leave you,” J’Dran said softly. “Even if you want me to, I shall not,” he added with a wry smile. Traggen hesitated. The pain of his mother’s rejection was still fresh inside of him, a gaping open wound. But what J’Dran was offering him…home, a mate, love, a family…he twined his arms around J’Dran’s neck and buried his face in the broad bare chest.
“Yes,” he said in a muffled voice. “Yes, I’ll be your mate, curse you. And just remember that it was you who started this whole thing when you get sick of me.”
J’Dran chuckled, his hands rubbing down Traggen’s back. “I’ll be sure to do that,” he said. “And I’m sure that I’ll regret it greatly. Until then, though, I shall simply enjoy my good fortune,” he added, licking at Traggen’s ear to lightly tickle it.
A watery snort. “Good fortune, right,” Traggen drawled, although he continued to press his face into J’Dran’s skin as though to reassure himself that the wereleopard was still there and not an imaginary creature who would vanish on him at any second. “If you say so.”
“I do,” J’Dran replied. “And as mine is the only opinion that matters here…” Traggen poked him in the side, making him grunt. He grinned.
“Wretched wereleopard,” the human muttered, lifting his tear-stained face to glare at the impertinent creature whose lap he was sitting in.
J’Dran nodded. “I am,” he replied. “Because I have a human for a mate. Everyone should feel awfully sorry for me…”
“Yes, they should. But not right now. Later, after I’m done with you, then they can feel sorry for you,” Traggen threatened.
“Ahh, being threatened by a creature hardly bigger than a cub. I tremble in fear,” J’Dran said drolly.
“Ooo, you are going to get it,” Traggen hissed.
J’Dran chuckled, grabbing him around the waist. “I hope so,” he breathed, just before he kissed Traggen hard enough to make him forget his troubles and ire alike.
The End
Traggen shook his head. What had that been all about? J’Dran had seemed very tense and upset. But if it was that simple to get a divorce among his folk, why would the wereleopard have acted that way? He decided to ask Z’sharan about it. He went back into the house, approaching the bathing room and knocking discreetly at the door. His uncle’s voice called out: “Come in.”
He opened the door, seeing Avhonari, Z’sharan, and K’var all in the bath together. He chose not to stare at them, looking instead at a shelf nearby. “I hate to bother you, but I wanted to ask Z’sharan something,” he explained politely.
“Of course. What is it, cub?” Z’sharan asked.
“Well, J’Dran’s gone to get us a divorce. I was wondering why he seemed so worked up about it,” Traggen said.
A puzzled silence. “What is a divorce?” Z’sharan asked.
“Among my people, a divorce is the dissolution of a marriage or union between two people,” Avhonari explained to his mate.
“You say that J’Dran has gone to get one of these things? I do not understand.”
“Well, he said that he was going to declare to your Elders that we aren’t mates, that that will take care of everything,” Traggen said.
“WHAT?!” this shrieked made everyone jump, and Traggen turned his head to meet a pair of wide golden eyes. Z’sharan looked shocked and horrified. “He’s done what?!”
“Err…” Traggen was baffled, and Avhonari and K’var looked confused as well. The wereleopard pulled himself together enough to explain.
“What you are speaking of is very seldom done, Traggen,” he said tightly. “And there is a very good reason why. To break up a mating is a very serious matter. You are supposed to go into a mating sure of yourself and your mate, and for something like this to happen means that you’ve both failed. To discourage frivolous matings, the Elders of the tribes passed a law forbidding those who have dissolved a mating from ever entering into another one again. So you can see why we are very careful about choosing our mates and entering into a mating. No one wants to be forbidden to ever take another mate because they made a mistake the first time. It means that J’Dran will be alone for the rest of his life, forbidden anything but casual couplings. He will never have a family. That is why I was so angry with him for declaring you to be his mate when he had never even discussed it with you. And now this has come to pass…” the grief in his voice made K’var whimper a little, and Avhonari looked sad.
Traggen felt like he’d been kicked in the gut. Z’sharan wasn’t blaming him for all of this, but he still felt partially responsible. Of course some of the blame lay on J’Dran himself for impulsively doing something that he shouldn’t have, but it looked like he was going to be the one to suffer for his actions. For the rest of his natural life, apparently. To never have anyone special, no family…Traggen had even intended to have one of those when his mother finally died, and he was free. He growled a little, balling his hands into fists at his sides. “What an idiot!” he yelled, making them all stare at him in startlement.
“Traggen?” Avhonari asked questioningly.
“Doing something this stupid without explaining it to me…AGAIN! When will he ever learn? I’m going to kick his ass!”
Z’sharan said cautiously: “Then…you object to J’Dran doing this?”
“Yes, I object to him doing this!” Traggen yelled furiously. “He’s going destroy his whole life just because he never thinks to tell me anything! I swear to the Gods, I am going to skin him and use his spotted hide as a throw rug!"
Z’sharan blinked, and then turned to his son. “K’var, get out and get dressed. Run to the village as fast as you can, Change if you have to. Find your Uncle J’Dran and tell him to wait before going to the Elders. Go, cub!”
K’var scrambled out of the bath and ran light-footedly out of the bathing room. Traggen looked at Z’sharan. “We’ll follow him,” the wereleopard said, “But he’ll be faster. He might be able to stop J’Dran before he goes to the Elders. That is…if you really want to stop him?” he looked keenly at Traggen.
He hesitated, but then nodded slowly. “We’ll have to talk, maybe work some things out,” he began. “I don’t know what will happen. But I don’t want J’Dran to destroy his life just because I’m angry with him.”
Z’sharan nodded, leaping out of the bathing pool. “Then let us go, Traggen, and stop my brother from being his usual idiotic self,” he said dryly as they left the bathing room together.
K’var ran panting through the jungle, his feet deftly finding every good spot on the path. He’d been down it so many times that he could have run in blindfolded by now. His golden eyes were set straight forward, and he was determined to get to the village and stop his uncle from doing the bad thing that had so horrified his father. K’var loved his Uncle J’Dran, and he didn’t want his relative to be hurt even by his own bad decisions. He leapt over a fallen log and darted through a hole in the foliage, knowing that he was near his destination now.
He speeded up his pace even more, knowing that he’d be exhausted by the time he got there but desperate to go as fast as he possibly could. He didn’t even want to take the time to Change, for every second counted. The muscles in his legs burned, and his lungs labored a bit. But he refused to slow down, and soon enough he saw the break in the trees ahead of him that signaled the edge of the village he felt a spurt of weary joy, pushing himself forward and into the clearing with the last of his strength. Then he was there, and he stopped in his tracks as he looked around for his uncle. His breath sawed in-and-out of his throat, and his chest heaved as he fought to get his breath back. Where was J’Dran? Had he gone to the Elders already?
K’var stumbled toward a hunter kneeling next to the stream. “Please,” he croaked. “have you seen my uncle J’Dran?”
The hunter looked up. “Hello, cub. No, I haven’t seen him,” the hunter replied casually.
K’var felt his heart sink. But just then, a female walked down to fill a clay pot with water. She said: “J’Dran? Yes, I saw him. He’s over there,” she pointed to the left through the trees.
“Thank you!” K’var cried happily. He darted away, not caring how tired he was. The male hunter and the female exchanged puzzled glances behind him.
K’var hurried to where the female had pointed. He saw a familiar figure sitting slumped on a gnarled root that had been smoothed into a sort of bench. J’Dran’s whole body conveyed sadness and depression. K’var ran up to him, saying hoarsely: “Uncle J’Dran! Uncle J’Dran!”
J’Dran looked up in surprise, blinking at the sight of a red-faced and tired-looking K’var. “Cub? What is it?” he asked in concern. “is there anything wrong?”
K’var nodded. “Father says not to go to the Elders!” he cried, nearly wringing his hands. “He sent me to stop you!”
J’Dran’s brows rose. “Z’sharan said that?”
K’var nodded vigorously. J’Dran frowned. “I don’t see why he’d try to stop me. It’s my decision,” he muttered mutinously.
“Father only sent me after Cousin Traggen got mad,” K’var piped up.
Now J’Dran looked baffled. “Angry? Why?” he asked in confusion.
“Father explained to him about what it meant for you to go to the Elders. And he got mad and yelled that he was going to skin you and use your spotted hide for a rug,” K’var said earnestly.
J’Dran’s jaw dropped. “Traggen said that? I don’t understand why he’d be mad. I’m just doing what will set him free to find another mate,” he said in agitation, running his clawed hand through his hair.
“He was angry because he said you never tell him things,” K’var said helpfully.
J’Dran’s shoulders tightened defensively. “Well, I suppose that I don’t,” he muttered. “But he’s just so…stubborn and irritating!”
“Don’t you like him? Don’t you want him to be your mate?” K’var asked in confusion of his own.
J’Dran sighed, reaching out to pull the cub onto his lap and run a soothing hand down his back. “Yes to both questions, cub. But I went about it the wrong way, and now Traggen hates me. It just seemed best to get this whole farce over with and set him free,” he added wearily.
K’var put his arms around his uncle’s neck. “I don’t think that Cousin Traggen hates you,” he said stoutly.
J’Dran blinked. “You don’t?”
K’var shook his head. “No. I don’t think that he’d have gotten so mad when he found out what would happen if you went to the Elders if he hated you. Wouldn’t he just be glad that you were ending the mating? He yelled awfully loud,” the cub went on earnestly.
J’Dran frowned. “You have a point, cub,” he said slowly. He sighed. “What now?”
“We should wait for Father and Cousin Traggen. Then maybe you can talk to him,” K’var said, nestling up to his uncle’s big form trustingly.
J’Dran laughed tiredly. “You’ll make an excellent mediator some day, cub,” he teased.
Traggen tried to hurry to keep up with Z’sharan, but he kept falling behind. The wereleopard seemed to have boundless amounts of strength and energy. He panted and cursed J’Dran inside his head, not having to the breath to do so aloud. He was going to kill that spotted bastard when he got his hands on him! Dumb ass was always doing stupid things, then acted surprised when he got yelled at. J’Dran didn’t have the brains the Gods had given a turnip.
He groaned, his legs feeling wobbly, as they continued at the punishing pace that Z’sharan was setting. Maybe he’d just fall down here and now, and what would happen would happen. It would serve J’Dran right, the lummox. He wasn’t going to kill himself to stop that wretched wereleopard from destroying his life. Yes, right. That’s why he kept going long after he wanted to fall down and die on the spot…
Z’sharan made a sound of satisfaction, and a weary Traggen looked up and blinked sweat out of his eye’s. His joy at seeing the village appear before them was so intense that it nearly overwhelmed him. Thank the Gods! He didn’t think that he could have taken much more. As it was, he tottered into the clearing and stood there with his hands on his knees, trying to breathe and not fall over. Z’sharan looked none the worse for wear as he hurried over to speak to several people, asking them about J’Dran. Traggen decided distantly that he hated Z’sharan.
The wereleopard came back to him. “J’Dran is over there. K’var’s with him,” he said, sounding hopeful. “Perhaps the cub got here before he went to speak to the Elders.”
“Okay,” Traggen groaned, trying to straighten up and not entirely succeeding. He limped after Z’sharan as the wereleopard moved off swiftly toward the place where his brother was supposed to be, once more cursing J’Dran foully as he put a hand to his abused back. The things he did for great sex!
He saw J’Dran sitting on a tree root with K’var in his lap. The cub cried out gleefully and jumped off of his uncle when he saw them, running over to greet them. “Uncle J’Dran didn’t go to the Elders!” he cried happily.
Z’sharan caught him up and hugged him. “You did a great job, K’var,” he praised his child. The boy beamed as Traggen half-staggered past him with a black look on his face. J’Dran began to look apprehensive as the human approached him.
“J’Dran. We need to talk,” Traggen hissed, all the anger he felt reverberating in his voice.
The wereleopard cringed, a rather amusing sight in someone so large and muscular. “Traggen…” he began helplessly.
“Let’s go somewhere where we can speak alone,” Traggen said. “Now.”
J’Dran got to his feet and led the way out of the clearing, his shoulders dropping. If he’d had a tail it would have been tucked between his legs right now. If he hadn’t been so mad, Traggen would have laughed. But he stayed silent as they reached a smaller clearing, much like the one that they‘d had sex in for the first time. Then J’Dran turned to face him like a man going to his inevitable doom.
Traggen folded his arms over his chest. “So,” he said stonily. “You thought that it would be a great idea to just go off and ruin your whole life without explaining the situation to me? Even though not explaining anything to me was what got you in this mess in the first place? Is that about right?”
J’Dran twitched and spread his hands helplessly. “It just seemed for the best…” he began. “You were so angry at me, and you wouldn’t accept our mating…”
Traggen breathed through his nose and tried to control his temper. “That’s because you gave me no choice,” he said harshly. “You just declared us mates and that was supposed to be that. You didn’t even say: Hey, Traggen, would you like to be my mate? Before you told everybody that I WAS your mate. Can you imagine how mad you’d be if someone did that to you? No matter how much you liked them or were attracted to them, you’d still be pretty pissed off. Come on, admit it.”
J’Dran thought about what he’d said, then his whole body drooped even further. “Yes,” he said unhappily. “I’m sorry, Traggen. But if I go to the Elders…”
“If you go to the Elders, you can never take another mate,” Traggen snapped. “You’d destroy your entire future without even talking to me YET AGAIN. Do you think that I’m so heartless that I want to see you left alone with no family just because I’m mad at you? If you’d have explained any of this to me, we might have worked it out. But no – you had to just go off by yourself without consulting me. You know, dim wit, if we ever were to become mates do you really think that I would tolerate you just doing whatever you wanted with no input from me? Especially when it concerns my future too? Don’t mates help one another, think of one another’s needs, and talk to each other about things? Or am I misinterpreting the relationship between Z’sharan and Uncle Avhonari?”
J’Dran looked flummoxed. Clearly he’d never thought about these things. “Erm…” he said, squirming like a misbehaving schoolboy. “I didn’t think…”
“Story of your life,” Traggen remarked dryly. “Listen, J’Dran. I still don’t know whether I want to be your mate or not, but knowing the penalties for ending our mating I’m willing to think about it long and hard. But you’ve got to give me some room and space to think about it. You kept pushing and pushing, that was what was driving me crazy. You wanted me to accept it right away, and how could I? Especially since I had no say in the matter originally. Do you think that you could back off and give me some room to really think and decide? Because if you can, then maybe we can work something out between us. This is your whole life we’re talking about. And mine, too, if I decide I want to be your mate after all. Don’t you think that something this important should have time and effort put into it?”
J’Dran nodded his head slowly. “You’re right,” he said. “I really am sorry, Traggen. I guess I lost my head. I was so angry and jealous when R’Vas had his hand on you that I didn’t think at all…and since then I’ve just wanted to make you admit that you’re my mate, to claim you. But I don’t own you, you need the freedom to make your own decisions. Even if that includes deciding that you don’t want me. I’ll back off, I swear.”
Traggen looked satisfied. “That’s all I needed to hear,” he said as he stepped toward J’Dran. “But you don’t have to back off totally,” he added with a faintly sultry look up at the surprised wereleopard. “There are still things you can do to make me more amenable to the whole idea,” his eyes gleamed with a wicked look of desire in their depths, and J’Dran drew in a sharp breath as his body responded automatically.
“I can so that,” he replied breathlessly.
Traggen’s smile widened. “See that you do,” he purred.
Z’sharan and K’var looked up hopefully when the two of them finally emerged from the trees. Z’sharan felt pleased to see that both J’Dran and Traggen looked less angry and happier than they had when they’d left together to talk. He stood up as his cub bounced to his feet beside him. “How did it go?” he asked.
“We’ve agreed to keep talking, and J’Dran’s going to give me some space to think about this whole thing,” Traggen told him.
“That’s excellent news. I’m glad to hear that my brother has decided to be reasonable,” Z’sharan added with a chiding look at J’Dran.
J’Dran flinched a bit. “I don’t think it was a case of being unreasonable so much as the fact that he doesn’t think as much as he should,” Traggen said acerbically, making J’Dran glower at him.
Z’sharan’s lips twitched. “I see. Very well, do you think we might go home now? Avhonari will want to know what happened, and I’d like to finish my bath.”
“Yes. I’m sure that J’Dran and I can do some ‘talking’,” Traggen said, and the insinuation in his voice was clear.
Z’sharan was amused to see his brother looking rather flustered, since he was usually very open about sexual matters. “Come on, then. K’var, do you want to ride on my back?” he added, for the cub looked rather tired.
“Yes, Father!” K’var cried, brightening up.
Z’sharan helped the cub to scramble up onto his back and cling there, draping the boy’s legs over his arms. Traggen looked up at J’Dran. “Are you going to offer me a piggyback ride?” he asked.
J’Dran looked uncertain. “Do you want one?”
The human snorted. “Yes. I’m tired too, you know. I wore myself out trying to get here in time to stop you from doing something very stupid. The least you can do is carry me.”
“J’Dran scowled at him even as he picked Traggen up and slung him onto his back. “I am not stupid,” he growled.
“Did I say you were?” the human asked lazily as he draped his arms around J’Dran’s neck. “You just do stupid things, there’s a difference. If you’d stop and think once in awhile, you’d be a lot better off. Take my word for it, I used to be just like that. I didn’t think too often before I did things, and I managed to screw my life up royally. Don’t make the same mistakes as I did, you won’t be happy if you do.”
“I’ll take your advice,” J’Dran said slowly as he carried Traggen out of the village on his back.
A pat on his shoulder. “See? You’re getting smarter all the time,” Traggen replied.
“Now hold your blade like that…and extend it…” Traggen instructed. “That’s good. I‘m going to attack you, and I want you to block me. Do you think that you can do that? Okay, here goes,” he swung his wooden practice blade at his opponent, and shook his head over the clumsy, awkward block that barely stopped it. “You’ve got to do better than that,” he lectured.
“You can do it, Uncle J’Dran!” a light voice piped up. Traggen grinned as his opponent first smiled at his watching nephew, and then scowled at his instructor. The wereleopard wasn’t happy about the fact that the cub was already ten times better than he was at this. He didn’t like looking a fool in front of Traggen, who already ragged on him enough as it was about other things without more fuel for his teasing. J’Dran cursed himself silently as Traggen resumed a fighting stance.
“Let’s run through it again,” he said patiently.
The wereleopard also resumed the basic stance that Traggen had shown him, wishing that he hadn’t let K’var talk him into trying this very human exercise. He could see the way the dark-blue eyes were gleaming, and it made him want to snarl. Traggen was laughing at him again.
Still, he thought as Traggen began to show him once again how to block, this was better than it had been before even with the teasing. Traggen wasn’t angry with him anymore now that they’d come to a compromise; he never mentioned the mating, and while he and Traggen talked a good deal they left that particular subject alone for now. He was giving the human time and space to decide whether he wanted to accept the mating or not. The only way that J’Dran forwarded his cause at the moment was having lots and lots of hot, nasty sex with the human. And that wasn’t an onerous thing at all… His cock twitched pleasantly at the thought of their last bout of sex, which had been this morning. J’Dran had snuck into Traggen’s room and had begun seducing the still-sleeping human before Traggen was aware of what was happening. He’d liked the sleepy little moans that had poured from Traggen’s throat as he’d licked all of that white skin lovingly. And the whimpers as he’d slid inside from behind, while plucking at Traggen’s nipples with his clawed fingertips… Mmm, yes. That had been far better than this.
He’d made the mistake of coming out to watch Traggen’s lessons with K’var this morning, and the cub had begged him to try it too. He should have known better, he thought with an internal sigh. Nothing that had to do with Traggen was ever easy for him. He yelped, drawn out of his thoughts as a wooden practice blade smacked him in the leg. “Pay attention,” Traggen chided him. “If you got distracted like that in battle, you’d be a dead.” J’Dran glowered at Traggen, but the human merely shrugged and resumed a waiting stance. J’Dran hissed through his teeth and prepared himself for another clumsy attack on his part. He simply couldn’t get the hang of using a piece of metal (or wood, in this case) to attack someone with. That’s what you had claws for, right? But if K’var could do it, by the Spirits so could he!
Well, apparently not. An hour later, he was hot, tired, frustrated, and completely infuriated. J’Dran handed Traggen the wooden practice sword without a word, then turned and walked off into the jungle to cool down his temper before he snapped at either the cub or his oh-so-infuriating mate. Traggen stood and watched him go, as K’var clambered to his feet.
“Where’s Uncle J’Dran going?” he asked Traggen. The human sighed, putting both blades under his arm as he looked at the cub.
“He’s probably gone to dunk his head in a stream,” he said dryly. “I don’t think that he likes the fact that he’s not very good at this. I think that he’s used to being good at a lot of things, so it’s hard for him to find something he’s not particularly good at at all.”
“Oh. He isn’t very good, is he?” K’var said, looking at the jungle where it had swallowed his uncle’s tall form.
“No, cub, he isn’t,” Traggen replied honestly. “And he probably never will be more than proficient, if that. But that doesn’t matter, does it? He’s a great hunter and provider, and that’s way more important. Right?”
K’var brightened up. He hadn’t been happy about the fact that his uncle was upset. “Right!” he cried.
Traggen nodded as they started toward the house together. “Maybe you should remind him of that when you see him next,” he urged K’var. “It might make him feel better, coming from you. If I try to tell him that, he’ll think that I feel sorry for him. Which I don’t. Well, not about that, anyway. The fact that he lacks a real brain, now that I might feel sorry about…”
K’var giggled. “That’s not nice, Cousin Traggen,” he said between giggles.
"The truth is seldom nice, cub,” Traggen replied drolly.
He was sitting on the porch later while K’var was taking a nap and his uncle was busy writing in his study. He looked up as a familiar figure came out of the jungle, and walked up to the house. Traggen eyed J’Dran, seeing that he looked far less angry and frustrated than he had when he’d entered the jungle hours earlier. And if he wasn’t mistaken, that was blood flecking the sides of his mouth…clearly the wereleopard had taken out his bad mood on some unsuspecting prey.
“Get it out of your system?” he asked.
J’Dran snorted. “Yes. I should have known better than to try one of your human things, anyway,” he added in disgust. “You humans do the strangest things.”
“Says the man who turns into a giant predator,” noted Traggen dryly.
J’Dran came and sat down on the bench next to him. “That is not strange at all,” he replied.
“Maybe not for you, but we humans find it pretty strange,” Traggen pointed out amiably.
“Hmph. Where’s the cub?”
“Napping. And my uncle is busy writing his book, as usual. So it’s just us,” Traggen told him with a faint undertone in his voice that caught J’Dran’s attention instantly.
“Oh?” he said casually, even as his clawed hand came to rest on Traggen’s thigh. “So what shall we do to pass the time?”
“I can’t imagine,” the human said drolly, just before falling silent because for some strange reason, something was covering his mouth…
“Traggen? Might I talk to you?” Avhonari’s voice made Traggen look up from his task of sharpening his sword.
His hands halted as he replied. “Of course, Uncle. Please sit down,” he nodded at the bench beside him.
Avhonari seated himself beside his young relative. “I wanted to speak to you about J’Dran,” he began, surprising Traggen. In the weeks since the whole mating fiasco, Avhonari had been careful to stay out of the whole thing. Clearly he thought that Traggen and J’Dran should work it out for themselves.
“What about him?” Traggen asked curiously, setting his unsheathed sword carefully in his lap.
Avhonari considered his next words carefully. “I was wondering if you’ve come to any decision about whether you will accept the mating or not,” he began slowly.
Traggen sighed. “Not really. It’s just so difficult. I mean, J’Dran is a great lover and fun to be around when he’s not being irritating – which is most of the time – but does that mean that I want to be mated to him for life? I’m not sure. And this is such an important, life-altering decision that I don’t want to rush into it.”
“I agree,” Avhonari said, giving him an approving look. “You really have grown up a good deal in the last there years, Nephew. I was hoping that you’d say that you hadn’t come to a decision yet: I want you to take your time and be really sure. For while it would be terrible if J’Dran has to renounce your mating and live alone, if that’s what it comes to then that is what must be. Your happiness has to be considered just as much as his. And if you really decide that you wouldn’t be happy as his mate, then you must do what you must do. No matter what.”
Traggen stared at him, startled. “I thought for sure that both you and Z’sharan would push me to accept no matter what,” he said.
Avhonari shook his head. “No, of course not. While both of us wish for J’Dran to be happy, it should not come at the expense of YOUR happiness. And since J’Dran initiated this mating without your approval or consent, if he must pay the price for his foolish actions then so be it. Z’sharan agrees with me on this.”
“Thank you,” Traggen said slowly. “I’m glad to know that. You’ve eased my mind, Uncle.”
Avhonari smiled and patted his thigh. “I’m glad, Traggen. I don’t want you to worry or fret over this matter. Matings should be happy things, entered into with the full consent of both parties. Perhaps one day we will truly celebrate this mating, but unless and until that happens we will merely be here to support both of you. You can count on that.”
“I will. And you have my thanks once again,” Traggen said gratefully. Avhonari rose to his feet.
“I must see to dinner and getting K’var washed up,” he said. “But remember, Traggen. I am your family, and so are Z’sharan and K’var. We will always be here for you,” and he smiled before sweeping into the house, leaving Traggen feeling rather moist-eyed as he looked down at the sword resting in his lap.
Fall, or what passed for it, was coming to these lands. Traggen was grateful for the break in the heat, which had been sultry and oppressive. He was sitting on the porch one day, watching J’Dran wrestle with K’var and wondering where the two wereleopards got the energy in this heat, when he heard the sound of hooves on the narrow track leading from the village. He glanced over; shading his eyes, and saw a man riding toward the house. He was wearing livery – familiar livery. Traggen felt his heart sink when he saw the colors of green and gold on the man’s tunic and breeches. It seemed that his mother was contacting him at long last.
Avhonari came out of the house, his dark eyes also looking down the road. The man came up to the porch as J’Dran and K’var started toward the horse, then stopped as the beast reared and began to fight as the thick smell of leopard filled its nostrils. The messenger got the beast back under control with difficulty as Traggen spoke to him: “Have you come with a message from my mother?"
“Yes, My Lord,” the messenger replied. He pulled a letter out of his pouch and handed it to Traggen without dismounting. “I was told to tell you that you needn’t reply,” he said. “So I’ll just be going,” he touched his cap and turned the horse, riding away back down the track.
Traggen held the letter and stared down at it. Why had his mother told the messenger to tell him that? What did it say? The only way to know was to read it. He steeled himself and broke the seal, unfolded the missive. It was written in his mother’s firm, bold hand, and he began to scan it warily. His eyes widened, and the fingers holding the letter began to tremble. Avhonari gave him a concerned look as his nephew went pale, and both J’Dran and K’var started toward him.
“What is it? Traggen?” J’Dran asked worriedly. The human lowered the letter. His face was ghost-white, and his eyes were blank.
“I never thought that she’d do it,” he said softly in a hollow voice. “I mean, she always said that she would, but I thought…” he put a hand to his mouth to cover his trembling lips.
“Traggen? What has she done?!” Avhonari cried, now very worried.
Silently he held the letter out to his uncle. Avhonari took it, scanning the contents quickly. He cried out when he came to a certain passage, and J’Dran demanded: “What is it? What does the writing say?”
Avhonari shook his head like a man in a dream. A bad one. “My sister has disowned Traggen,” he said in a sickly tone of voice.
J’Dran looked confused. “What does that mean?” he asked in puzzlement.
“To disown someone is to never see them again, to pretend that they never existed,” Avhonari said sadly. “In other words, as far as she is concerned she never had a son named Traggen.”
Horror washed over the faces of the two wereleopards. They had never heard of anything so awful before – their culture had nothing like it, and couldn’t even grasp of the concept of a parent deciding that they had never had a child. Children were valued and adored in their tribe. J’Dran growled softly, a deadly sound. “How could a mother do that?” he asked, looking at Avhonari. “It does not seem possible!”
“Among our people, sadly it is,” Avhonari told him in a weary voice.
J’Dran bared his teeth, even as he stepped toward Traggen and put his arms protectively around the human’s smaller figure. “Please go,” he told Avhonari and K’var. “Leave us alone for now.”
Avhonari nodded and took his son’s hand, leading K’var away into the house with a last backward glance fill of anxiety. J’Dran picked up Traggen as though he were a doll, and walked over to the bench. He sat down on it with Traggen in his lap, his clawed hand stroking the human’s black curls. Traggen sat passively, not protesting his actions. That in itself was a very worrisome thing to J’Dran. Usually Traggen would have been yelling at the top of his lungs about being carried around like a baby. “Traggen, little one,” he said into the human’s ear, “Listen to me now. That person may have birthed you, but she is not your mother. Your real family is here, and we love you. I love you.” He nosed into the black curls as he continued: “I would be your mate for the rest of my days, Traggen. It was not just an impulsive decision that day – in my heart; I knew that you were meant to be mine. My mate, my family, mine. Accept the mating, please. Stay with me and your family. This is where you belong.” His earnest words got through to Traggen. The human lifted his too-pale face and looked into J’Dran’s. His eyes searched the golden ones above him, seeing only honesty and sincerity in them.
“I…” he began hoarsely. A clawed finger gently skimmed his cheek.
“Don’t be afraid. I will never leave you,” J’Dran said softly. “Even if you want me to, I shall not,” he added with a wry smile. Traggen hesitated. The pain of his mother’s rejection was still fresh inside of him, a gaping open wound. But what J’Dran was offering him…home, a mate, love, a family…he twined his arms around J’Dran’s neck and buried his face in the broad bare chest.
“Yes,” he said in a muffled voice. “Yes, I’ll be your mate, curse you. And just remember that it was you who started this whole thing when you get sick of me.”
J’Dran chuckled, his hands rubbing down Traggen’s back. “I’ll be sure to do that,” he said. “And I’m sure that I’ll regret it greatly. Until then, though, I shall simply enjoy my good fortune,” he added, licking at Traggen’s ear to lightly tickle it.
A watery snort. “Good fortune, right,” Traggen drawled, although he continued to press his face into J’Dran’s skin as though to reassure himself that the wereleopard was still there and not an imaginary creature who would vanish on him at any second. “If you say so.”
“I do,” J’Dran replied. “And as mine is the only opinion that matters here…” Traggen poked him in the side, making him grunt. He grinned.
“Wretched wereleopard,” the human muttered, lifting his tear-stained face to glare at the impertinent creature whose lap he was sitting in.
J’Dran nodded. “I am,” he replied. “Because I have a human for a mate. Everyone should feel awfully sorry for me…”
“Yes, they should. But not right now. Later, after I’m done with you, then they can feel sorry for you,” Traggen threatened.
“Ahh, being threatened by a creature hardly bigger than a cub. I tremble in fear,” J’Dran said drolly.
“Ooo, you are going to get it,” Traggen hissed.
J’Dran chuckled, grabbing him around the waist. “I hope so,” he breathed, just before he kissed Traggen hard enough to make him forget his troubles and ire alike.
The End