Chapter 3
Jeremy went back to work after leaving the gift with Jessa. He stood at his counter thinking about what she’d said earlier about why she was his friend. It made him feel rather uncomfortable, her thinking that he was some sweet guy. He wasn’t. He was prickly and sharp-tongued and grumpy. But oddly enough, Travis seemed to think the same thing about him. It was ridiculous, of course. They were both blind. Although frankly, theirs was the kind of blindness that made him glad that they couldn’t see…
He frowned a bit to himself. It wasn’t easy for him to admit, even to himself, that he actually needed anyone. He certainly didn’t WANT to need anyone, not after his parents and Richard. But Travis…Travis had inexorably crept up on Jeremy, had wormed his way inside of the librarian and had made himself someone that Jeremy simply couldn’t do without anymore. Damn him. Wretched artist with his sleepy smiles and skilled hands and sweet words, always telling Jeremy how much he loved him and doing little things to make his day better. He’d been terrified when Travis had first started pursuing him – terrified to let the other man in. Now he was just as scared, but this fear was one of loss. Jeremy was scared to death that Travis might leave him one day, might get bored or annoyed with his personality or just find someone he liked better and wander away.
He couldn’t handle that. If that day ever came, he’d shrivel up and die inside for good. He knew it with a certainty. Until Travis Burke had come along, Jeremy Adams hadn’t loved anyone in a very long time. Not even himself. Especially not himself, actually. But now – he was hopelessly in love with that sleepy-eyed giant. And fuck, maybe he even felt something for Jessa too. And he knew exactly who to blame for all of this, the man who’d made him vulnerable and had lured him out from behind his walls. That bastard Stretch with his hot body and tender hands and eyes that held only love whenever he looked at Jeremy…geez. How could anyone have resisted that? He wasn’t made of stone, even though he’d often pretended that his heart was. Stupid sexy artist.
His musings were broken into by a student approaching the counter with an armful of books to check out. Jeremy glared at this patron in an expression that he’d fine-tuned to cow them without running them off entirely. If he did that often enough he’d lose his job. But downtrodden was good, since it ensured him minimum contact time with them. The world being as it was – almost totally populated by idiots – Jeremy needed to spend as little time around people as he possibly could. He didn’t suffer fools gladly.
Jeremy woke up to sun shining in through the window of his dorm room. He squinted against it in a surly manner, wishing he’d remembered to close the blinds. Beside him, Travis was still asleep. The artist was snoring softly lying on his back with one arm around Jeremy. The librarian couldn’t comprehend how anyone could sleep on their back all night. He liked to lie on his side, sort of snuggled up against Travis. Sort of. He wasn’t a cuddler. Right. Yes.
He realized in a sleep hazed sort of way that today was Saturday. The day of him and Travis’s anniversary. The day they’d first had sex together, right here in this very room. It hadn’t been just sex; he’d known that subconsciously at the time. It had been him admitting (although not aloud) that Travis was really his boyfriend and that he actually liked going out with the artist. After all, he’d given Travis an ultimatum before that, telling the tall student that he wouldn’t be getting any sex from Jeremy. He had discarded that ultimatum and jumped on Travis because it had been his way of silently giving in and accepting Travis will he or nil he. He could have held out for longer than that if he’d wanted to. He simply hadn’t wanted to.
Jeremy yawned, blinking the sleep haze out of his eyes as he slowly sat up. Travis moved a little in his sleep when his lover abandoned him, frowning slightly. Jeremy reached out and set his hand in the middle of Travis’s chest, and the taller man settled down with a peaceful expression on his face. The librarian stroked the bare skin a bit, loving the feel of the muscles in his lover’s chest. He simply sat there as he woke up, enjoying looking at Travis.
A knock on the door dragged him away from his favorite morning activity, making him scowl. Who the hell…? Oh, shit! It had to be Jessa with his anniversary present for Travis. He clambered off the bed and grabbed a pair of jeans off a chair, pulling them on as quickly as he could as he went over to the door. He looked behind him, but Travis hadn’t been woken up by the knocking. He breathed a sigh of relief as he swung the door open to reveal a smiling Jessa there holding the bag with the gift in it.
“Good morning, Jer,” she whispered. “Is Travis still asleep?”
Jeremy nodded. She grinned, holding out the bag enticingly. “I came like a Greek bearing gifts…But,” she went on, pulling it out of his reach before he could take it, “I want to ask you for a favor.”
“What kind of favor?” he demanded, eyeing her suspiciously.
“I need the help of my favorite surly brainiac in writing an English paper. Please? It’s due Monday, and I’m really having a hard time with it.”
He sighed, feeling put upon. He’d wanted to spend the day with Travis. It was their anniversary, after all. “Can’t we work on it tomorrow?” he demanded.
She shook her head. “I would, but Brad and I are driving to his parents’ house tomorrow. I think I’m going to be vetted,” she went on with a grin. “So I really need to get it done today, Jer. Come on, it’ll only be for a few hours. Then you can spend the rest of the day with your man,” she gave him pleading puppy dog eyes, and his return scowl was only half-hearted at best. After all, she’d helped him buy the gift and had held it for him so that Travis wouldn’t see it.
“All right,” he said. “But just a couple of hours, that’s it. I’m not giving up wild anniversary sex for anyone.”
“Yay!” she clapped her hands. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! Listen, I brought all my stuff with me so that we could work on it here, since Brad’s still asleep in my room. I thought maybe the rec room? There’s plenty of space to spread everything out, and I brought my laptop along too. You could even bring Travis if you want to, so that you won’t be totally deprived of him. I’m sure he won’t mind,” Jessa said wheedlingly.
Jeremy had to admit (at least to himself) that it would be pleasant to be able to bring his boyfriend along. “I’ll get him up and dressed and we’ll meet you down there in ten minutes,” he told her.
She nodded. “Great! I’ll be waiting!” she skimmed away in a flounce of hair and skirt, and it was only after she’d turned the corner that he remembered that she’d still been holding the bag with his gift in it! He cursed, but pursuing her to get it back seemed stupid when they’d both see her down in the rec room in ten minutes. So he shut the door and went to wake up his lover.
Travis scratched sleepily at his head as he strolled along beside Jeremy. He’d been amenable to spending a few hours hanging around while Jeremy helped Jessa with her paper, not a shocker. He was one of the most easy-going people that Jeremy had ever met. The librarian hadn’t mentioned the present, since he still wanted it to be a surprise. They approached the open door of the rec room, and Travis courteously waited until Jeremy walked in to follow after him.
He only got three steps inside when Jeremy nearly jumped out of his skin. A dozen voices yelled: “Surprise!”, and his startled eyes took in a table covered with a pretty cloth holding a cake and what looked like a punch bowl; all of his friends and Travis’s standing there grinning at him; and a banner hung on the wall that read: Happy Anniversary Travis and Jeremy! “What the…?” he began in perplexity, glaring a little because he’d never been that good with surprises.
Jessa waved from her position beside her boyfriend Brad. “Hi, Jer! As you can see, I totally lied to get you down here. And you can’t blame me,” she added, pointing a finger at the man walking behind him, “This was all Travis’s idea! He talked me into throwing a party for you!”
Jeremy whirled around, seeing the artist standing there looking sheepish. “Sorry, Jeremy,” he said. “But I just wanted to give you a party. You wouldn’t let me on your birthday, and I felt really bad about that. Please don’t be mad,” he begged.
God, he could never withstand it when Travis begged with those innocent black eyes of his. Actually probably not so innocent at all, the bastard. He scowled at his boyfriend, folding his arms over his chest. Travis was still looking at him hopefully, so he said in his surliest tone of voice: “Okay, but you better make this up to me later, Stretch.”
The artist brightened up immediately. “I will, Jeremy,” he said, beaming at his lover.
Jeremy rolled his eyes but turned back to the waiting people. “So what the hell do we do now?” he demanded of no one in particular. “Dance, eat cake, and act like idiots?”
Jessa giggled. “That’s the itinerary, yes,” she replied merrily. “Especially the idiots part. Come on, Jer, you’ll have a good time. I promise.”
He snorted, but went over with Travis in tow to mingle. Shit, but he hated parties. And there wasn’t even any alcohol in the punch. Geez. Travis of course was having a great time, but Jeremy was rapidly developing a headache. He sipped at the punch with a grimace and scowled down at the chocolate cake sitting on the table. It had ‘Happy Anniversary Travis and Jeremy’ written on it in blue icing. Jesus, this was exactly why he hadn’t wanted his lover to throw him a birthday party! Being sociable was very hard on Jeremy at the best of times. And parties were just a concentration of being sociable, because they were a collection of your friends who you didn’t want to offend or anger. Unlike the students who came into the library. He didn’t mind at all offending them or pissing them off. Fuck, he hated to be nice!
Time seemed to have stopped. Jeremy gritted his teeth as he responded to a question from one of Travis’s friends. The urge to cut the guy apart with his tongue was so great that it was almost a physical pain to stop himself from doing it. Finally Jessa cut the cake, which made him feel some relief. With cake in their mouths people couldn’t talk. She handed him a big piece. “To sweeten you up, Jer,” she said with a wink.
He glowered at her as he shoved the plastic fork into his mouth. At least it was good cake. His only consolation was that he’d have to endure this kind of thing only once or twice a year for Travis’s sake. Any more than that and he’d be contemplating either suicide or homicide. Or both. Travis put his arm around Jeremy and said softly to him: “Are you okay, Jeremy?” his black eyes were full of concern as he stared down at his boyfriend. He knew that Jeremy didn’t handle these kind of things very well.
“I’m fine,” he replied shortly.
Travis blew out of long breath. “No, you’re not,” he replied. “You’re not having a good time at all, are you?” he sounded miserable, which made Jeremy feel bad in turn.
“No,” he admitted, looking up into his lover’s eyes, “But the truth is that parties aren’t my kind of thing, Bean pole. But…” he added as the artist looked crestfallen, “I’m willing to go to them because it makes you happy. You deserve to be able to do this kind of stuff, even though your boyfriend is an anti-social grouch. Just keep it to once or twice a year, okay? I can handle that.”
Travis stared down at him for a moment, and then nodded. “Thank you, Jeremy,” he said. “I will. I appreciate it.”
“See that you do,” Jeremy replied tartly, hearing a faint chuckle above his head as Travis’s fingers made stroking motions over his shirt.
The party finally wound down, much to Jeremy’s relief. But then Jessa said eagerly: “Okay, guys, it’s time to break out the presents. I have Jeremy’s for you right here, Travis,” she held out the bag to the librarian as Travis looked blank-eyed with surprise.
“You got me something, Jeremy?” he said in astonishment.
“Yeah. But only because Jessa reminded me that I should get you something,” Jeremy replied as he turned to hand the bag to his lover. “I don’t know anything about this kind of stuff; I’ve never been with anybody else long enough to have an anniversary.”
“I understand, Jeremy,” Travis replied as he took the bag. He reached into it, pulling out the wrapped gift inside. His nimble artist’s fingers began to take the bow off as Jeremy stood there and watched him. The librarian felt a little breathless, wanting his lover to like the gift he’d bought.
Travis pulled the paper off, revealing the mahogany case inside. His eyes widened as he opened the latch and swung the case open to reveal the contents. “Oh, Jeremy, it’s beautiful,” he breathed in wonder. “I love it,” he added, looking up with eyes that were suspiciously wet.
Jeremy squirmed a bit, feeling a little embarrassed but also very pleased. “Okay. Then it was worth every penny,” he added dryly.
Travis smiled, his long fingers stroking the edge of the case. “I’ll treasure it, Jeremy. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a present that suits me better.”
The librarian found the floor fascinating for a second, but was pulled out of his uneasy pleasure in Travis’s reaction to his gift when his lover said: “Byron? Did you bring it?”
He turned to see the lovely brown-skinned man standing nearby smiling. “I finished it yesterday.” He told Travis. “Just under the deadline. Jason? Could you bring it over and put it on the table?”
His red-haired boyfriend emerged out of the small crowd toting something draped with a piece of cloth. He grunted a bit as he set it on the table, then stepped back. Everyone was looking curiously at it, obviously dying of curiosity. That included Jeremy as Travis turned to him. “This is my gift to you, Jeremy,” he told his lover. “I hope you like it.”
The librarian just looked at him for a moment, then turned and walked over to the table. He reached out for the cloth covering whatever it was, feeling his breath come a little short. His fingers snagged the cloth and began to pull it away. Then his eyes registered what he was seeing, and he gasped involuntarily. He just stood there, stunned into immobility, looking at the gift his lover had had made for him.
It was a sculpture of two naked men kissing. You couldn’t see any naughty bits because their lower bodies were pressed together. The taller of the pair of figures had his head bent and one hand wrapped around the neck of the smaller. Their eyes were closed as their mouths met in an eternal kiss. It was such a sensual piece, so beautiful…there was an air of love and tenderness about the kissing lovers. They were frozen in time, in this one loving moment forever.
Jeremy felt his throat closing up as he stared at the sculpture of him and Travis kissing. He couldn’t speak or move. This was totally and completely worse than the gift he’d given Jeremy for Christmas, the charcoal drawing of them in bed together. This was so intimate, and it bared something he’d much rather have been kept hidden. Their relationship was on display for all of these eyes to see. Blindly he turned and ran out of the rec room, unable to look at it for even a moment longer. “Jeremy!” he heard his lover cry after him as he blundered along. “Wait! What’s the matter?”
But he couldn’t answer. He headed for the front door, needing fresh air and silence and somewhere that he could be alone. But he didn’t make it, as much longer legs propelled Travis after him with an unaccustomed vigorousness. Arms caught him around his waist and prevented him from dashing out the door. “What is it, Jeremy?” he panted into his struggling lover’s ear. “What’s the matter?”
He stopped struggling after a moment, defeated by that relentless strength. “Let me go,” he ground out.
“No, I won’t. Not until you tell me what’s wrong. Is it the sculpture? Do you hate it? I’m sorry; I thought you’d like it…”
He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I do like it,” he replied. “That’s the problem.”
Startled silence from behind him. He forced himself to keep speaking. “It’s great. Really beautiful. And it scared the crap outta me, Stretch. Right there for everybody to see is our relationship. I don’t…I don’t want anybody else to see that. It’s too personal.”
“Oh, I see,” the artist said in comprehension. “I’m really sorry, Jeremy. I shouldn’t have had Byron bring it in during the party. I should have waited until we were alone to give it to you. I know how private you are, especially about your really strong feelings. I’m really sorry,” he repeated remorsefully.
Jeremy sighed, turning in his arms. “I know you didn’t do it on purpose, Longshanks. It just never occurred to you because you don’t care if everybody sees how you feel about me. That’s kinda cool, actually, but at the same time it’s just not ME.”
Travis set his hands at Jeremy’s waist as he looked down into his lover’s eyes. “I know,” he said. “But I don’t expect it to be you, Jeremy. I like you just the way you are. I always have. Ever since the first moment that I saw you in the library. I wouldn’t want you to change for me. And I promise not to ever do anything like this again, cross my heart and hope to die,” he drew an x over his heart, making Jeremy laugh a little in spite of himself.
“All right, Stretch. I forgive you. If…” he stood on tiptoe to lace his own arms behind his tall lover’s neck, “You go collect the sculpture and we go back to our room right now and have tons of wild sex for the rest of the day.”
That familiar lazy smile graced the artist’s mouth. “That sounds like a great plan, Jeremy,” he said. “I’ll be right back,” he kissed Jeremy on the lips briefly and departed back for the rec room to scoop up the sculpture and send the guests on their way.
The librarian watched him go, thinking to himself that this was why he and Travis were still together. And, if the gods or fate or whatever was kind, they’d continue to be together for many years to come. And maybe by their tenth anniversary or so he’d be used to the parties, but he seriously doubted it…
The End
Jeremy went back to work after leaving the gift with Jessa. He stood at his counter thinking about what she’d said earlier about why she was his friend. It made him feel rather uncomfortable, her thinking that he was some sweet guy. He wasn’t. He was prickly and sharp-tongued and grumpy. But oddly enough, Travis seemed to think the same thing about him. It was ridiculous, of course. They were both blind. Although frankly, theirs was the kind of blindness that made him glad that they couldn’t see…
He frowned a bit to himself. It wasn’t easy for him to admit, even to himself, that he actually needed anyone. He certainly didn’t WANT to need anyone, not after his parents and Richard. But Travis…Travis had inexorably crept up on Jeremy, had wormed his way inside of the librarian and had made himself someone that Jeremy simply couldn’t do without anymore. Damn him. Wretched artist with his sleepy smiles and skilled hands and sweet words, always telling Jeremy how much he loved him and doing little things to make his day better. He’d been terrified when Travis had first started pursuing him – terrified to let the other man in. Now he was just as scared, but this fear was one of loss. Jeremy was scared to death that Travis might leave him one day, might get bored or annoyed with his personality or just find someone he liked better and wander away.
He couldn’t handle that. If that day ever came, he’d shrivel up and die inside for good. He knew it with a certainty. Until Travis Burke had come along, Jeremy Adams hadn’t loved anyone in a very long time. Not even himself. Especially not himself, actually. But now – he was hopelessly in love with that sleepy-eyed giant. And fuck, maybe he even felt something for Jessa too. And he knew exactly who to blame for all of this, the man who’d made him vulnerable and had lured him out from behind his walls. That bastard Stretch with his hot body and tender hands and eyes that held only love whenever he looked at Jeremy…geez. How could anyone have resisted that? He wasn’t made of stone, even though he’d often pretended that his heart was. Stupid sexy artist.
His musings were broken into by a student approaching the counter with an armful of books to check out. Jeremy glared at this patron in an expression that he’d fine-tuned to cow them without running them off entirely. If he did that often enough he’d lose his job. But downtrodden was good, since it ensured him minimum contact time with them. The world being as it was – almost totally populated by idiots – Jeremy needed to spend as little time around people as he possibly could. He didn’t suffer fools gladly.
Jeremy woke up to sun shining in through the window of his dorm room. He squinted against it in a surly manner, wishing he’d remembered to close the blinds. Beside him, Travis was still asleep. The artist was snoring softly lying on his back with one arm around Jeremy. The librarian couldn’t comprehend how anyone could sleep on their back all night. He liked to lie on his side, sort of snuggled up against Travis. Sort of. He wasn’t a cuddler. Right. Yes.
He realized in a sleep hazed sort of way that today was Saturday. The day of him and Travis’s anniversary. The day they’d first had sex together, right here in this very room. It hadn’t been just sex; he’d known that subconsciously at the time. It had been him admitting (although not aloud) that Travis was really his boyfriend and that he actually liked going out with the artist. After all, he’d given Travis an ultimatum before that, telling the tall student that he wouldn’t be getting any sex from Jeremy. He had discarded that ultimatum and jumped on Travis because it had been his way of silently giving in and accepting Travis will he or nil he. He could have held out for longer than that if he’d wanted to. He simply hadn’t wanted to.
Jeremy yawned, blinking the sleep haze out of his eyes as he slowly sat up. Travis moved a little in his sleep when his lover abandoned him, frowning slightly. Jeremy reached out and set his hand in the middle of Travis’s chest, and the taller man settled down with a peaceful expression on his face. The librarian stroked the bare skin a bit, loving the feel of the muscles in his lover’s chest. He simply sat there as he woke up, enjoying looking at Travis.
A knock on the door dragged him away from his favorite morning activity, making him scowl. Who the hell…? Oh, shit! It had to be Jessa with his anniversary present for Travis. He clambered off the bed and grabbed a pair of jeans off a chair, pulling them on as quickly as he could as he went over to the door. He looked behind him, but Travis hadn’t been woken up by the knocking. He breathed a sigh of relief as he swung the door open to reveal a smiling Jessa there holding the bag with the gift in it.
“Good morning, Jer,” she whispered. “Is Travis still asleep?”
Jeremy nodded. She grinned, holding out the bag enticingly. “I came like a Greek bearing gifts…But,” she went on, pulling it out of his reach before he could take it, “I want to ask you for a favor.”
“What kind of favor?” he demanded, eyeing her suspiciously.
“I need the help of my favorite surly brainiac in writing an English paper. Please? It’s due Monday, and I’m really having a hard time with it.”
He sighed, feeling put upon. He’d wanted to spend the day with Travis. It was their anniversary, after all. “Can’t we work on it tomorrow?” he demanded.
She shook her head. “I would, but Brad and I are driving to his parents’ house tomorrow. I think I’m going to be vetted,” she went on with a grin. “So I really need to get it done today, Jer. Come on, it’ll only be for a few hours. Then you can spend the rest of the day with your man,” she gave him pleading puppy dog eyes, and his return scowl was only half-hearted at best. After all, she’d helped him buy the gift and had held it for him so that Travis wouldn’t see it.
“All right,” he said. “But just a couple of hours, that’s it. I’m not giving up wild anniversary sex for anyone.”
“Yay!” she clapped her hands. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! Listen, I brought all my stuff with me so that we could work on it here, since Brad’s still asleep in my room. I thought maybe the rec room? There’s plenty of space to spread everything out, and I brought my laptop along too. You could even bring Travis if you want to, so that you won’t be totally deprived of him. I’m sure he won’t mind,” Jessa said wheedlingly.
Jeremy had to admit (at least to himself) that it would be pleasant to be able to bring his boyfriend along. “I’ll get him up and dressed and we’ll meet you down there in ten minutes,” he told her.
She nodded. “Great! I’ll be waiting!” she skimmed away in a flounce of hair and skirt, and it was only after she’d turned the corner that he remembered that she’d still been holding the bag with his gift in it! He cursed, but pursuing her to get it back seemed stupid when they’d both see her down in the rec room in ten minutes. So he shut the door and went to wake up his lover.
Travis scratched sleepily at his head as he strolled along beside Jeremy. He’d been amenable to spending a few hours hanging around while Jeremy helped Jessa with her paper, not a shocker. He was one of the most easy-going people that Jeremy had ever met. The librarian hadn’t mentioned the present, since he still wanted it to be a surprise. They approached the open door of the rec room, and Travis courteously waited until Jeremy walked in to follow after him.
He only got three steps inside when Jeremy nearly jumped out of his skin. A dozen voices yelled: “Surprise!”, and his startled eyes took in a table covered with a pretty cloth holding a cake and what looked like a punch bowl; all of his friends and Travis’s standing there grinning at him; and a banner hung on the wall that read: Happy Anniversary Travis and Jeremy! “What the…?” he began in perplexity, glaring a little because he’d never been that good with surprises.
Jessa waved from her position beside her boyfriend Brad. “Hi, Jer! As you can see, I totally lied to get you down here. And you can’t blame me,” she added, pointing a finger at the man walking behind him, “This was all Travis’s idea! He talked me into throwing a party for you!”
Jeremy whirled around, seeing the artist standing there looking sheepish. “Sorry, Jeremy,” he said. “But I just wanted to give you a party. You wouldn’t let me on your birthday, and I felt really bad about that. Please don’t be mad,” he begged.
God, he could never withstand it when Travis begged with those innocent black eyes of his. Actually probably not so innocent at all, the bastard. He scowled at his boyfriend, folding his arms over his chest. Travis was still looking at him hopefully, so he said in his surliest tone of voice: “Okay, but you better make this up to me later, Stretch.”
The artist brightened up immediately. “I will, Jeremy,” he said, beaming at his lover.
Jeremy rolled his eyes but turned back to the waiting people. “So what the hell do we do now?” he demanded of no one in particular. “Dance, eat cake, and act like idiots?”
Jessa giggled. “That’s the itinerary, yes,” she replied merrily. “Especially the idiots part. Come on, Jer, you’ll have a good time. I promise.”
He snorted, but went over with Travis in tow to mingle. Shit, but he hated parties. And there wasn’t even any alcohol in the punch. Geez. Travis of course was having a great time, but Jeremy was rapidly developing a headache. He sipped at the punch with a grimace and scowled down at the chocolate cake sitting on the table. It had ‘Happy Anniversary Travis and Jeremy’ written on it in blue icing. Jesus, this was exactly why he hadn’t wanted his lover to throw him a birthday party! Being sociable was very hard on Jeremy at the best of times. And parties were just a concentration of being sociable, because they were a collection of your friends who you didn’t want to offend or anger. Unlike the students who came into the library. He didn’t mind at all offending them or pissing them off. Fuck, he hated to be nice!
Time seemed to have stopped. Jeremy gritted his teeth as he responded to a question from one of Travis’s friends. The urge to cut the guy apart with his tongue was so great that it was almost a physical pain to stop himself from doing it. Finally Jessa cut the cake, which made him feel some relief. With cake in their mouths people couldn’t talk. She handed him a big piece. “To sweeten you up, Jer,” she said with a wink.
He glowered at her as he shoved the plastic fork into his mouth. At least it was good cake. His only consolation was that he’d have to endure this kind of thing only once or twice a year for Travis’s sake. Any more than that and he’d be contemplating either suicide or homicide. Or both. Travis put his arm around Jeremy and said softly to him: “Are you okay, Jeremy?” his black eyes were full of concern as he stared down at his boyfriend. He knew that Jeremy didn’t handle these kind of things very well.
“I’m fine,” he replied shortly.
Travis blew out of long breath. “No, you’re not,” he replied. “You’re not having a good time at all, are you?” he sounded miserable, which made Jeremy feel bad in turn.
“No,” he admitted, looking up into his lover’s eyes, “But the truth is that parties aren’t my kind of thing, Bean pole. But…” he added as the artist looked crestfallen, “I’m willing to go to them because it makes you happy. You deserve to be able to do this kind of stuff, even though your boyfriend is an anti-social grouch. Just keep it to once or twice a year, okay? I can handle that.”
Travis stared down at him for a moment, and then nodded. “Thank you, Jeremy,” he said. “I will. I appreciate it.”
“See that you do,” Jeremy replied tartly, hearing a faint chuckle above his head as Travis’s fingers made stroking motions over his shirt.
The party finally wound down, much to Jeremy’s relief. But then Jessa said eagerly: “Okay, guys, it’s time to break out the presents. I have Jeremy’s for you right here, Travis,” she held out the bag to the librarian as Travis looked blank-eyed with surprise.
“You got me something, Jeremy?” he said in astonishment.
“Yeah. But only because Jessa reminded me that I should get you something,” Jeremy replied as he turned to hand the bag to his lover. “I don’t know anything about this kind of stuff; I’ve never been with anybody else long enough to have an anniversary.”
“I understand, Jeremy,” Travis replied as he took the bag. He reached into it, pulling out the wrapped gift inside. His nimble artist’s fingers began to take the bow off as Jeremy stood there and watched him. The librarian felt a little breathless, wanting his lover to like the gift he’d bought.
Travis pulled the paper off, revealing the mahogany case inside. His eyes widened as he opened the latch and swung the case open to reveal the contents. “Oh, Jeremy, it’s beautiful,” he breathed in wonder. “I love it,” he added, looking up with eyes that were suspiciously wet.
Jeremy squirmed a bit, feeling a little embarrassed but also very pleased. “Okay. Then it was worth every penny,” he added dryly.
Travis smiled, his long fingers stroking the edge of the case. “I’ll treasure it, Jeremy. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a present that suits me better.”
The librarian found the floor fascinating for a second, but was pulled out of his uneasy pleasure in Travis’s reaction to his gift when his lover said: “Byron? Did you bring it?”
He turned to see the lovely brown-skinned man standing nearby smiling. “I finished it yesterday.” He told Travis. “Just under the deadline. Jason? Could you bring it over and put it on the table?”
His red-haired boyfriend emerged out of the small crowd toting something draped with a piece of cloth. He grunted a bit as he set it on the table, then stepped back. Everyone was looking curiously at it, obviously dying of curiosity. That included Jeremy as Travis turned to him. “This is my gift to you, Jeremy,” he told his lover. “I hope you like it.”
The librarian just looked at him for a moment, then turned and walked over to the table. He reached out for the cloth covering whatever it was, feeling his breath come a little short. His fingers snagged the cloth and began to pull it away. Then his eyes registered what he was seeing, and he gasped involuntarily. He just stood there, stunned into immobility, looking at the gift his lover had had made for him.
It was a sculpture of two naked men kissing. You couldn’t see any naughty bits because their lower bodies were pressed together. The taller of the pair of figures had his head bent and one hand wrapped around the neck of the smaller. Their eyes were closed as their mouths met in an eternal kiss. It was such a sensual piece, so beautiful…there was an air of love and tenderness about the kissing lovers. They were frozen in time, in this one loving moment forever.
Jeremy felt his throat closing up as he stared at the sculpture of him and Travis kissing. He couldn’t speak or move. This was totally and completely worse than the gift he’d given Jeremy for Christmas, the charcoal drawing of them in bed together. This was so intimate, and it bared something he’d much rather have been kept hidden. Their relationship was on display for all of these eyes to see. Blindly he turned and ran out of the rec room, unable to look at it for even a moment longer. “Jeremy!” he heard his lover cry after him as he blundered along. “Wait! What’s the matter?”
But he couldn’t answer. He headed for the front door, needing fresh air and silence and somewhere that he could be alone. But he didn’t make it, as much longer legs propelled Travis after him with an unaccustomed vigorousness. Arms caught him around his waist and prevented him from dashing out the door. “What is it, Jeremy?” he panted into his struggling lover’s ear. “What’s the matter?”
He stopped struggling after a moment, defeated by that relentless strength. “Let me go,” he ground out.
“No, I won’t. Not until you tell me what’s wrong. Is it the sculpture? Do you hate it? I’m sorry; I thought you’d like it…”
He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I do like it,” he replied. “That’s the problem.”
Startled silence from behind him. He forced himself to keep speaking. “It’s great. Really beautiful. And it scared the crap outta me, Stretch. Right there for everybody to see is our relationship. I don’t…I don’t want anybody else to see that. It’s too personal.”
“Oh, I see,” the artist said in comprehension. “I’m really sorry, Jeremy. I shouldn’t have had Byron bring it in during the party. I should have waited until we were alone to give it to you. I know how private you are, especially about your really strong feelings. I’m really sorry,” he repeated remorsefully.
Jeremy sighed, turning in his arms. “I know you didn’t do it on purpose, Longshanks. It just never occurred to you because you don’t care if everybody sees how you feel about me. That’s kinda cool, actually, but at the same time it’s just not ME.”
Travis set his hands at Jeremy’s waist as he looked down into his lover’s eyes. “I know,” he said. “But I don’t expect it to be you, Jeremy. I like you just the way you are. I always have. Ever since the first moment that I saw you in the library. I wouldn’t want you to change for me. And I promise not to ever do anything like this again, cross my heart and hope to die,” he drew an x over his heart, making Jeremy laugh a little in spite of himself.
“All right, Stretch. I forgive you. If…” he stood on tiptoe to lace his own arms behind his tall lover’s neck, “You go collect the sculpture and we go back to our room right now and have tons of wild sex for the rest of the day.”
That familiar lazy smile graced the artist’s mouth. “That sounds like a great plan, Jeremy,” he said. “I’ll be right back,” he kissed Jeremy on the lips briefly and departed back for the rec room to scoop up the sculpture and send the guests on their way.
The librarian watched him go, thinking to himself that this was why he and Travis were still together. And, if the gods or fate or whatever was kind, they’d continue to be together for many years to come. And maybe by their tenth anniversary or so he’d be used to the parties, but he seriously doubted it…
The End