Chapter 4
Later, with his hair still damp from the shower in the locker room, Matthias walked along toward the stable blocks. Usually he had at least two or three rides a day, but Doug had canceled several races in light of what had happened to his stable girl this morning. He’d only let King race because he needed to, since the beast belonged to him personally and he needed any purse money that he could get from running the animal. The other two horses that he’d intended to run today both belonged to the Rochets, who might have protested normally about those races being canceled but probably hadn’t even realized that their horses weren’t running today.
He turned a corner, and felt a peculiar tightening in his abdomen when he saw the two police detectives from earlier standing near the stall where the murder had taken place. Joshua Harper’s eyes met his, and the taller man nodded at him slightly. The appreciation in his gaze as he looked at Matthias made the jockey feel a little light-headed. Of course, that could be left over adrenaline from the race, but he highly doubted that. More likely another body chemical was involved, one associated with the fact that he hadn’t gotten laid in a fairly long time.
The other detective spotted him as well. “Hello, Mr. Billings,” he said politely.
“Hi,” he replied. “Umm…did you guys need to talk to me again?”
He shook his head. “No, we don’t. We’ve just been talking to the stable hands,” he said, and from his grimace they hadn’t gotten much for their efforts.
“All of them,” Joshua Harper drawled in disgust.
Matthias’ lips twitched. “Oh,” he said, fighting back laughter at the cops’ expense.
“But we’re finally done,” the other detective said gratefully. ‘So we should get going, Josh.”
“Sure, Gabe. Just a moment, okay?”
The detective glanced from his partners’ face to Matthias’, and nodded. “See you in a bit at the car,” he said, before walking away down the stable block.
When he was finally gone, Joshua looked down at Matthias. “I saw your race earlier,” he said.
“Oh?” he wasn’t sure what else to say, and he was feeling too nervous to actually make small talk at the moment anyway.
“Yeah. It looked like you were going to get stuck against the rails there for a while, but you managed to pull it out pretty neatly. I was impressed.”
“Thanks,” he said, clearing his throat a little. “Err…did you find anything else about Julie yet?”
Joshua shook his head. “We’ve talked to her roommate, her parents, everybody she worked with…and we’ve looked not her financials already. So far we haven’t found any reason for somebody to want to kill her. But we’ll keep looking,” he vowed.
“Thank you,” Matthias said. “I’d hate to think that somebody might get away with shooting Julie. She was so nice…I just don’t get why anyone would do that to her!” he cried.
“Yes, but there’s almost always a motive, even if you have to dig to find it,” Joshua remarked. “Even serial killers usually have certain things they look for in a victim. This doesn’t smack of a random kill; somebody DID have a reason to kill Ms. Conyers. Maybe not a good reason, but one good enough for them to go to all the trouble of shooting her. Especially since they did it here at the racetrack, where there are usually dozens of people around that might have seen him or her. They must have been desperate for some reason. And desperation causes people to make mistakes, to trip up. We just have to keep looking for those mistakes.”
Mathis nodded. “I really hope that you guys find whoever did this. They belong in prison,” he said savagely. “Julie was a sweet girl. She didn’t deserve this.”
“We’ll try our best,” Joshua said. Then he paused, before adding: “About what I said to you earlier…”
That fluttering in his abdomen again. Matthias cleared his throat. “Yes?”
Joshua shrugged. “Like I said, I’m sorry I rushed into asking you out when you were upset. But I’m NOT sorry that I asked you out, even if I regret the timing. And I hope that you’ll think about it and let me know one way or the other soon. I’d really like to go out with you.”
Matthias fiddles with the cuffs of the hoody he was wearing. “Not to dishonor Julie’s memory or anything,” he said casually, “But I’ve been thinking about what you asked, and…my answer is yes.”
Joshua blinked in surprise, then nodded with a pleased expression on his face. “That’s great,” he said in satisfaction. “Thanks. When would be good for you?”
“Not today,” the jockey told him. “But maybe tomorrow night? If that would be good for you?”
“Sure, after I get off of work,” Joshua replied. “It’s a date. Do you want me to pick you up here at the track? Or at your house? And if so, do I have to look up your address or will you give it to me?”
Matthias found himself laughing a little. “I’ll give it to you,” he said.
Joshua pulled out his note book from his inner pocket. “Shoot,” he said, holding his pen over the paper.
Matthias told him his address, and the detective wrote it down. He also gave Joshua his phone number, in case he had to call him for any reason. The detective tucked it away again with a slight smile on his face. “Well, I’ve got to get going,” he said reluctantly. “Work calls. But I’ll see you tomorrow night? At about seven?”
“Yes. I’ll see you then,” Matthias agreed.
Joshua nodded and left to join his partner. Matthias stood there and watched the tall man walk away, his mind in a muddle. On the one hand, he was still grieving for Julie and horrified about her murder. But on the other…he felt anticipation and pleasure over the date he had tomorrow night with the handsome homicide detective. These contradictory emotions were roiling inside of him, making him feel decidedly off-balance.
“Are those cops gone?” he heard a familiar voice, and turned to see Doug walking toward him.
“Yes,” he replied.
The trainer looked pleased. “I know that they’re trying to find out who killed Julie, but they’re disrupting everyone’s work to ask questions,” he said.
Matthias understood. Despite the murder, the horses still had to be taken care of. The stable routines had to continue. “I think that they talked to all of the stable hands, so hopefully they won’t have to question everybody again like that.”
“Here’s hoping,” Doug grunted. “I’ve got enough problems on my hands. The Rochets are furious that they were questioned by the cops, and they made that fact known to me at length.”
Matthias winced. He knew that when Doug said ‘the Rochets’, he really meant Camille. Dealing with that harpy on top of losing his stable girl and having to deal with the cops…the jockey didn’t envy him at all. Hopefully Joshua and his partner would be able to discover who’d killed Julie soon, and thus relieve Doug of at least one of his burdens while bringing a killer to justice at the same time.
Matthias opened his front door. Detective Joshua Harper stood on his front doorstep, and he smiled slightly at the jockey. “Hey,” he said. “Err…can I call you something besides Mr. Billings? Seems kind of weird to call you that when we’re going out on a date.”
Matthias found himself laughing. “You can call me Matty,” he replied. “it’s what everyone calls me.”
“Matty, huh? So nobody calls you ‘Matthias’?”
“No, that’s too formal,” the jockey replied as he stepped outside and closed his door behind him. He locked it and pocketed the key. “What about you? Should I call you Joshua?”
“Josh’ll be fine,” the detective replied easily. “If we’re going to be informal. Do you like Italian, by the way?”
“Yes, I do,” Matthias said as they walked toward his car together. “Is that where we’re going?”
“Yeah. I know this great Italian restaurant. Amazing food, and lots of it. Not that that would matter to you, right? Jockeys can’t eat that much, can they?”
“No, we have to be careful and watch what we eat all the time,” Matthias agreed, “Just like supermodels. And Italian food is pretty high in carbs. But if I’m careful of what I order it won’t be a problem.”
“That must suck righteously,” Joshua remarked with a grimace as they got into his car. “Having to watch what you eat constantly. I’d hate that. I mostly eat whatever I want, then hit the gym after work to burn it all off. I like to work out to release any of the stress from my day, so it’s all good.”
“That sounds wonderful.” Matthias agreed as he buckled his seat belt and Joshua started the car. “But I love my job except for constantly being on a diet, so I think it’s worth it.”
“But when you’re ready to retire, I bet that you’re just going to pig out, huh?” Joshua asked with a chuckle as he turned out of the parking lot of Matthias’ apartment building.
“Maybe, maybe not. I won’t be so strict about what I eat, anyway. But that’s a long way away, unless I get hurt badly enough that I can’t ride anymore. For now, low carbs and high protein are the norm.”
“So no dessert for you, then. You’ll just have to watch me eat it,” Joshua teased, throwing him a laughing glance.
He grimaced. “I guess I will. I haven’t eaten dessert in so long I can barely remember what one tastes like.”
Joshua shook his head. “I’d hate that. I mean, I’m not going to scarf a whole bag or cookies in one sitting or anything, but I like my desserts. I wouldn’t want to give them up. Not for my job, anyway. Maybe if I were diabetic or something and it was crucial to my health…”
“I try to balance out what I’m giving up for what I’m getting,” Matthias told him. “And so far, the pleasure and excitement of riding a fast race horse definitely balances out missing out on some kinds of food. There’s nothing better than speeding toward the finish line, knowing that your horse is fast enough to win but that it was YOUR riding skills that got him to that place so he could win. Although I’ve never taken any, I’d imagine that the high is comparable to taking drugs. And unless you get hurt, there are no ugly side effects to riding race horses.”
“I guess I can see that. It’s like bungee jumping or extreme sports or something. You’re deliberately putting yourself into a dangerous situation to get that adrenaline rush. And you get paid to do that. Not bad.”
“Well, and there is the fact that I love horses,” Matthias said contemplatively, “I always have. Maybe it’s because I’m a gay guy…but I doubt that’s true, since most of the men I work with are straight and they love horses too. There’s just something about them…even though they’re often not very smart and they can be very delicate physically, they’re still magnificent animals. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else but work with them, even if I couldn’t ride anymore. I’d be a stable hand or a trainer’s assistant if I got hurt badly enough.”
“Again, I get that,” Joshua said quietly. “I like being a cop. I don’t want to do anything else, and if I got hurt on the job and couldn’t do it anymore, I’d become a security consultant or something. I guess we have something in common.”
“Yes,” Matthias agreed. “Which is good. Right?”
Joshua chuckled. “Sure. Although opposites are supposed to attract, I think every potential couple should have at least a few things in common. At least so that you’ll have something to talk about on your dates,” he said, shooting Matthias an amused sideways look.
“Of course. Because what else could we find to do but talk to each other?” the jockey remarked drolly, making the detective laugh.
“Right. Anyway, here we are,” he turned into a parking lot and pulled into a space, turning off the motor.
Matthias unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car. Joshua came around the car and stood waiting for him, and the taller man looked him over thoughtfully. “Don’t get me wrong, I like the fact that you’re…err…’petite’,” he remarked. “But I’d bet that you had a hard time growing up, right?”
Matthias nodded as they headed into the restaurant together. “It really sucked to be this short, especially when it became clear that I’d never put on a growth spurt,” he said glumly. “I didn’t come out in high school because it would have been just horrible being a really short gay guy…the bullies would have made my life a living hell.”
He paused as the hostess showed them to a table and they sat down. She gave them menus and retreated to bring them water glasses and bread. Joshua leaned forward a little and spoke: “Being gay trumped everything else in high school,” he said dryly. “I was a popular athlete, but I wouldn’t have been popular if I’d admitted that I liked guys even though I was so good at football. I waited to come out in college. How about you?”
“I never went to college. I was already riding horses professionally by the time I was seventeen. I didn’t ever formally come out, I just sort of mentioned it casually to some of my friends and Doug one day and they just shrugged and asked how I intended to ride the race that day. They simply didn’t care. Which was great. Gossip spreads around racetracks, so everybody else eventually knew, too. My fellow jockeys were a little leery of me at first, but when I never hit on them or ogled them in the shower they stopped caring, too. I’m a jockey first, and a gay man second. At least when I’m at the track. My personal life is just that - personal.”
“Amen,” Joshua agreed. “I don’t understand guys who base their entire lives around their sexuality, whether they’re gay or straight. Unless you’re a porn star or something, why would you? There’s so much more to life than who you’re having sex with. And having only gay friends means that you’re missing out on a lot of experiences that you could have with straight friends. My partner’s straight, and he’s also my best friend. I can’t imagine shunning him just because he’s not gay, any more than he’d shun ME for being gay.”
“Well, some gay people seem to consider being gay a club that no one else can join, and they only want to hang around with other members. That’s kind of sad, but I can also understand it. Those who’ve been harassed badly over their sexuality by straight people sometimes just decide to shut them out of their lives as a defensive measure. It’s like a woman who’s been raped not wanting anything to do with any man, because one raped her. But what we’ve got to remember is that not all straight people are alike. Just because some hate and fear us doesn’t mean that all of them do.”
“I think the problem is that those who do hate and fear us are the ones who yell the loudest,” Joshua commented. “So sometimes the rational voices get drowned out. I’ll admit there are times when I want to pull my gun and shoot some of the bigots in a sensitive area, but they have the right to their opinion no matter how foul it may be.”
A waitress arrived at their table with a basket of homemade bread sticks and two glasses of water, and Joshua asked her to give them a couple of minutes to decide what they wanted. When she left, he reached out and snagged a bread stick. “Want one?” he asked, holding it out with an evil gleam in his eyes.
Matthias narrowed his own eyes dangerously. “That’s not very nice,” he said silkily. “Tempting me with what you KNOW I can’t have. I think I’ll have to punish you for that.”
“Oh? How are you going to do that?” Joshua asked in interest as he took a bite of the bread stick and began to chew with an expression of pleasure on his face.
“I won’t tell you, because then you’d be warned. But when you least expect it…” the jockey said.
Joshua chuckled. “I’m looking forward to it. So much so, in fact, that I think I’ll take to hanging around the track and ’interrogating’ a certain very cute jockey about the murder case every day. I’m sure that he knows something, that’s why I’ll keep coming around...”
“That’s harassment, you know,” Matthias said in amusement.
“Is it?” Joshua said quasi-innocently. “So you’re going to object to me ‘harassing’ you?”
Looking at his sensual mouth, Matthias smiled suddenly. “I didn’t say that,” he purred.
Joshua looked satisfied. Evilly he began to suck on the bread stick, lavishing it with oral attention. Matthias gulped and reached for his glass of water, downing most of it in one go to help his suddenly dry mouth. Joshua’s laughing, wicked eyes watched him do this; clearly he was enjoying the jockey’s discomfiture. He finished molesting the bread stick and took a bite out of it, chewing with gusto.
Matthias was enjoying himself. He’d forgotten about Julie’s murder, the Rochets, and poor Doug as well. This was the first real date that he’d had in ages, and he wasn’t going to spend it brooding about things that he couldn’t change. He opened his menu to peruse it, looking for a dish that didn’t come with a lot of pasta or bread. If worse came to worse, he’d ask the waitress to have the kitchen leave off a side of pasta on a dish like chicken picatta. That way he’d be getting lean protein without all of the carbs. And he wouldn’t be paying for his indulgence for weeks to come by practically starving himself…
Go to Next Chapter
Later, with his hair still damp from the shower in the locker room, Matthias walked along toward the stable blocks. Usually he had at least two or three rides a day, but Doug had canceled several races in light of what had happened to his stable girl this morning. He’d only let King race because he needed to, since the beast belonged to him personally and he needed any purse money that he could get from running the animal. The other two horses that he’d intended to run today both belonged to the Rochets, who might have protested normally about those races being canceled but probably hadn’t even realized that their horses weren’t running today.
He turned a corner, and felt a peculiar tightening in his abdomen when he saw the two police detectives from earlier standing near the stall where the murder had taken place. Joshua Harper’s eyes met his, and the taller man nodded at him slightly. The appreciation in his gaze as he looked at Matthias made the jockey feel a little light-headed. Of course, that could be left over adrenaline from the race, but he highly doubted that. More likely another body chemical was involved, one associated with the fact that he hadn’t gotten laid in a fairly long time.
The other detective spotted him as well. “Hello, Mr. Billings,” he said politely.
“Hi,” he replied. “Umm…did you guys need to talk to me again?”
He shook his head. “No, we don’t. We’ve just been talking to the stable hands,” he said, and from his grimace they hadn’t gotten much for their efforts.
“All of them,” Joshua Harper drawled in disgust.
Matthias’ lips twitched. “Oh,” he said, fighting back laughter at the cops’ expense.
“But we’re finally done,” the other detective said gratefully. ‘So we should get going, Josh.”
“Sure, Gabe. Just a moment, okay?”
The detective glanced from his partners’ face to Matthias’, and nodded. “See you in a bit at the car,” he said, before walking away down the stable block.
When he was finally gone, Joshua looked down at Matthias. “I saw your race earlier,” he said.
“Oh?” he wasn’t sure what else to say, and he was feeling too nervous to actually make small talk at the moment anyway.
“Yeah. It looked like you were going to get stuck against the rails there for a while, but you managed to pull it out pretty neatly. I was impressed.”
“Thanks,” he said, clearing his throat a little. “Err…did you find anything else about Julie yet?”
Joshua shook his head. “We’ve talked to her roommate, her parents, everybody she worked with…and we’ve looked not her financials already. So far we haven’t found any reason for somebody to want to kill her. But we’ll keep looking,” he vowed.
“Thank you,” Matthias said. “I’d hate to think that somebody might get away with shooting Julie. She was so nice…I just don’t get why anyone would do that to her!” he cried.
“Yes, but there’s almost always a motive, even if you have to dig to find it,” Joshua remarked. “Even serial killers usually have certain things they look for in a victim. This doesn’t smack of a random kill; somebody DID have a reason to kill Ms. Conyers. Maybe not a good reason, but one good enough for them to go to all the trouble of shooting her. Especially since they did it here at the racetrack, where there are usually dozens of people around that might have seen him or her. They must have been desperate for some reason. And desperation causes people to make mistakes, to trip up. We just have to keep looking for those mistakes.”
Mathis nodded. “I really hope that you guys find whoever did this. They belong in prison,” he said savagely. “Julie was a sweet girl. She didn’t deserve this.”
“We’ll try our best,” Joshua said. Then he paused, before adding: “About what I said to you earlier…”
That fluttering in his abdomen again. Matthias cleared his throat. “Yes?”
Joshua shrugged. “Like I said, I’m sorry I rushed into asking you out when you were upset. But I’m NOT sorry that I asked you out, even if I regret the timing. And I hope that you’ll think about it and let me know one way or the other soon. I’d really like to go out with you.”
Matthias fiddles with the cuffs of the hoody he was wearing. “Not to dishonor Julie’s memory or anything,” he said casually, “But I’ve been thinking about what you asked, and…my answer is yes.”
Joshua blinked in surprise, then nodded with a pleased expression on his face. “That’s great,” he said in satisfaction. “Thanks. When would be good for you?”
“Not today,” the jockey told him. “But maybe tomorrow night? If that would be good for you?”
“Sure, after I get off of work,” Joshua replied. “It’s a date. Do you want me to pick you up here at the track? Or at your house? And if so, do I have to look up your address or will you give it to me?”
Matthias found himself laughing a little. “I’ll give it to you,” he said.
Joshua pulled out his note book from his inner pocket. “Shoot,” he said, holding his pen over the paper.
Matthias told him his address, and the detective wrote it down. He also gave Joshua his phone number, in case he had to call him for any reason. The detective tucked it away again with a slight smile on his face. “Well, I’ve got to get going,” he said reluctantly. “Work calls. But I’ll see you tomorrow night? At about seven?”
“Yes. I’ll see you then,” Matthias agreed.
Joshua nodded and left to join his partner. Matthias stood there and watched the tall man walk away, his mind in a muddle. On the one hand, he was still grieving for Julie and horrified about her murder. But on the other…he felt anticipation and pleasure over the date he had tomorrow night with the handsome homicide detective. These contradictory emotions were roiling inside of him, making him feel decidedly off-balance.
“Are those cops gone?” he heard a familiar voice, and turned to see Doug walking toward him.
“Yes,” he replied.
The trainer looked pleased. “I know that they’re trying to find out who killed Julie, but they’re disrupting everyone’s work to ask questions,” he said.
Matthias understood. Despite the murder, the horses still had to be taken care of. The stable routines had to continue. “I think that they talked to all of the stable hands, so hopefully they won’t have to question everybody again like that.”
“Here’s hoping,” Doug grunted. “I’ve got enough problems on my hands. The Rochets are furious that they were questioned by the cops, and they made that fact known to me at length.”
Matthias winced. He knew that when Doug said ‘the Rochets’, he really meant Camille. Dealing with that harpy on top of losing his stable girl and having to deal with the cops…the jockey didn’t envy him at all. Hopefully Joshua and his partner would be able to discover who’d killed Julie soon, and thus relieve Doug of at least one of his burdens while bringing a killer to justice at the same time.
Matthias opened his front door. Detective Joshua Harper stood on his front doorstep, and he smiled slightly at the jockey. “Hey,” he said. “Err…can I call you something besides Mr. Billings? Seems kind of weird to call you that when we’re going out on a date.”
Matthias found himself laughing. “You can call me Matty,” he replied. “it’s what everyone calls me.”
“Matty, huh? So nobody calls you ‘Matthias’?”
“No, that’s too formal,” the jockey replied as he stepped outside and closed his door behind him. He locked it and pocketed the key. “What about you? Should I call you Joshua?”
“Josh’ll be fine,” the detective replied easily. “If we’re going to be informal. Do you like Italian, by the way?”
“Yes, I do,” Matthias said as they walked toward his car together. “Is that where we’re going?”
“Yeah. I know this great Italian restaurant. Amazing food, and lots of it. Not that that would matter to you, right? Jockeys can’t eat that much, can they?”
“No, we have to be careful and watch what we eat all the time,” Matthias agreed, “Just like supermodels. And Italian food is pretty high in carbs. But if I’m careful of what I order it won’t be a problem.”
“That must suck righteously,” Joshua remarked with a grimace as they got into his car. “Having to watch what you eat constantly. I’d hate that. I mostly eat whatever I want, then hit the gym after work to burn it all off. I like to work out to release any of the stress from my day, so it’s all good.”
“That sounds wonderful.” Matthias agreed as he buckled his seat belt and Joshua started the car. “But I love my job except for constantly being on a diet, so I think it’s worth it.”
“But when you’re ready to retire, I bet that you’re just going to pig out, huh?” Joshua asked with a chuckle as he turned out of the parking lot of Matthias’ apartment building.
“Maybe, maybe not. I won’t be so strict about what I eat, anyway. But that’s a long way away, unless I get hurt badly enough that I can’t ride anymore. For now, low carbs and high protein are the norm.”
“So no dessert for you, then. You’ll just have to watch me eat it,” Joshua teased, throwing him a laughing glance.
He grimaced. “I guess I will. I haven’t eaten dessert in so long I can barely remember what one tastes like.”
Joshua shook his head. “I’d hate that. I mean, I’m not going to scarf a whole bag or cookies in one sitting or anything, but I like my desserts. I wouldn’t want to give them up. Not for my job, anyway. Maybe if I were diabetic or something and it was crucial to my health…”
“I try to balance out what I’m giving up for what I’m getting,” Matthias told him. “And so far, the pleasure and excitement of riding a fast race horse definitely balances out missing out on some kinds of food. There’s nothing better than speeding toward the finish line, knowing that your horse is fast enough to win but that it was YOUR riding skills that got him to that place so he could win. Although I’ve never taken any, I’d imagine that the high is comparable to taking drugs. And unless you get hurt, there are no ugly side effects to riding race horses.”
“I guess I can see that. It’s like bungee jumping or extreme sports or something. You’re deliberately putting yourself into a dangerous situation to get that adrenaline rush. And you get paid to do that. Not bad.”
“Well, and there is the fact that I love horses,” Matthias said contemplatively, “I always have. Maybe it’s because I’m a gay guy…but I doubt that’s true, since most of the men I work with are straight and they love horses too. There’s just something about them…even though they’re often not very smart and they can be very delicate physically, they’re still magnificent animals. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else but work with them, even if I couldn’t ride anymore. I’d be a stable hand or a trainer’s assistant if I got hurt badly enough.”
“Again, I get that,” Joshua said quietly. “I like being a cop. I don’t want to do anything else, and if I got hurt on the job and couldn’t do it anymore, I’d become a security consultant or something. I guess we have something in common.”
“Yes,” Matthias agreed. “Which is good. Right?”
Joshua chuckled. “Sure. Although opposites are supposed to attract, I think every potential couple should have at least a few things in common. At least so that you’ll have something to talk about on your dates,” he said, shooting Matthias an amused sideways look.
“Of course. Because what else could we find to do but talk to each other?” the jockey remarked drolly, making the detective laugh.
“Right. Anyway, here we are,” he turned into a parking lot and pulled into a space, turning off the motor.
Matthias unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car. Joshua came around the car and stood waiting for him, and the taller man looked him over thoughtfully. “Don’t get me wrong, I like the fact that you’re…err…’petite’,” he remarked. “But I’d bet that you had a hard time growing up, right?”
Matthias nodded as they headed into the restaurant together. “It really sucked to be this short, especially when it became clear that I’d never put on a growth spurt,” he said glumly. “I didn’t come out in high school because it would have been just horrible being a really short gay guy…the bullies would have made my life a living hell.”
He paused as the hostess showed them to a table and they sat down. She gave them menus and retreated to bring them water glasses and bread. Joshua leaned forward a little and spoke: “Being gay trumped everything else in high school,” he said dryly. “I was a popular athlete, but I wouldn’t have been popular if I’d admitted that I liked guys even though I was so good at football. I waited to come out in college. How about you?”
“I never went to college. I was already riding horses professionally by the time I was seventeen. I didn’t ever formally come out, I just sort of mentioned it casually to some of my friends and Doug one day and they just shrugged and asked how I intended to ride the race that day. They simply didn’t care. Which was great. Gossip spreads around racetracks, so everybody else eventually knew, too. My fellow jockeys were a little leery of me at first, but when I never hit on them or ogled them in the shower they stopped caring, too. I’m a jockey first, and a gay man second. At least when I’m at the track. My personal life is just that - personal.”
“Amen,” Joshua agreed. “I don’t understand guys who base their entire lives around their sexuality, whether they’re gay or straight. Unless you’re a porn star or something, why would you? There’s so much more to life than who you’re having sex with. And having only gay friends means that you’re missing out on a lot of experiences that you could have with straight friends. My partner’s straight, and he’s also my best friend. I can’t imagine shunning him just because he’s not gay, any more than he’d shun ME for being gay.”
“Well, some gay people seem to consider being gay a club that no one else can join, and they only want to hang around with other members. That’s kind of sad, but I can also understand it. Those who’ve been harassed badly over their sexuality by straight people sometimes just decide to shut them out of their lives as a defensive measure. It’s like a woman who’s been raped not wanting anything to do with any man, because one raped her. But what we’ve got to remember is that not all straight people are alike. Just because some hate and fear us doesn’t mean that all of them do.”
“I think the problem is that those who do hate and fear us are the ones who yell the loudest,” Joshua commented. “So sometimes the rational voices get drowned out. I’ll admit there are times when I want to pull my gun and shoot some of the bigots in a sensitive area, but they have the right to their opinion no matter how foul it may be.”
A waitress arrived at their table with a basket of homemade bread sticks and two glasses of water, and Joshua asked her to give them a couple of minutes to decide what they wanted. When she left, he reached out and snagged a bread stick. “Want one?” he asked, holding it out with an evil gleam in his eyes.
Matthias narrowed his own eyes dangerously. “That’s not very nice,” he said silkily. “Tempting me with what you KNOW I can’t have. I think I’ll have to punish you for that.”
“Oh? How are you going to do that?” Joshua asked in interest as he took a bite of the bread stick and began to chew with an expression of pleasure on his face.
“I won’t tell you, because then you’d be warned. But when you least expect it…” the jockey said.
Joshua chuckled. “I’m looking forward to it. So much so, in fact, that I think I’ll take to hanging around the track and ’interrogating’ a certain very cute jockey about the murder case every day. I’m sure that he knows something, that’s why I’ll keep coming around...”
“That’s harassment, you know,” Matthias said in amusement.
“Is it?” Joshua said quasi-innocently. “So you’re going to object to me ‘harassing’ you?”
Looking at his sensual mouth, Matthias smiled suddenly. “I didn’t say that,” he purred.
Joshua looked satisfied. Evilly he began to suck on the bread stick, lavishing it with oral attention. Matthias gulped and reached for his glass of water, downing most of it in one go to help his suddenly dry mouth. Joshua’s laughing, wicked eyes watched him do this; clearly he was enjoying the jockey’s discomfiture. He finished molesting the bread stick and took a bite out of it, chewing with gusto.
Matthias was enjoying himself. He’d forgotten about Julie’s murder, the Rochets, and poor Doug as well. This was the first real date that he’d had in ages, and he wasn’t going to spend it brooding about things that he couldn’t change. He opened his menu to peruse it, looking for a dish that didn’t come with a lot of pasta or bread. If worse came to worse, he’d ask the waitress to have the kitchen leave off a side of pasta on a dish like chicken picatta. That way he’d be getting lean protein without all of the carbs. And he wouldn’t be paying for his indulgence for weeks to come by practically starving himself…
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