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Chapter 2
Ricky stood there, frozen, as the small swarm of gay men descended on the hospital bed. The man wearing make-up and heels grabbed the cop's hand. "James, don't scare us like that!" he cried chidingly.
"Well, I'm sorry, Freddy, but it's not like I set out to get shot when I went to the bank yesterday," the cop remarked dryly.
"I know, I know; but I was just so scared!" the man called Freddy replied, squeezing his hand.
"Hazards of the job," the cop remarked with a shrug. "There's always the possibility that I might be shot."
"But not when you're off-duty!" one of the other men protested.
"The perp was going to shoot a civilian. I had to do something," the cop said patiently.
"Always the hero," drawled a third man, although there was affectionate exasperation in his voice.
"No, just a cop doing his duty. That's all."
"Do you have to be so calm about getting shot?" a fourth man demanded rather irritably, from the shelter of a fifth man's arms.
"What do you want? Do you want me to have hysterics every time that I take a bullet? I don't think that I'd get to keep my job for very long if I did that. Besides, I already take enough flack for being a gay cop. Can you imagine if I were a gay cop who wigged out every time he was in a dangerous situation? As an openly gay cop, I have to be a role model whether I like it or not."
Ricky's mouth fell open at these words, and his eyes bugged out of his head. His savior was...he couldn't be! No way! The man who'd saved his life and taken a bullet for him...was a fag?!
The man called Freddy sighed. "We know that, James," he said sadly. "But we're going to worry about you, you know that. That's what friends do."
"I appreciate that, Freddy. I'm really glad to have such good friends," the cop replied, looking at every one of the little crowd of gay men.
Ricky was taken aback. The caring and affection being displayed by these men...gay men were abominations! How could they show so much love for one another? It just didn't seem possible. Warily he wondered if he could just scurry out before anyone saw him, but before he could try one of the men happened to glance over at the table and spotted Ricky. "Hey," he said. "Hello. Who's this? Do you have a new boyfriend, James?" he asked the cop hopefully.
"No. This is...I'm sorry, I didn't get your name earlier," the cop said, glancing over at him.
"R-Ricky. Ricky Raynes," he stuttered, cringing at all of the eyes staring at him. The curious, interested eyes. There was no animosity in their stares.
"Ricky Raynes. He was the civilian that the perp was going to shoot in the bank. He came today to bring me some get-well gifts and make sure that I was all right," the cop explained to his friends.
"Why, how sweet!" one of the men said, smiling at Ricky. "Checking up on your hero! And you brought so much stuff," he added, looking at the gifts on the table behind Ricky. "I don't suppose that you're gay, are you?" he asked hopefully.
"No!" Ricky cried in horror.
"Too bad," the man said. "But it's still nice that you came to see James. So many people just take it for granted that cops will protect them, and they're not grateful when somebody saves their lives. This is a nice change."
A murmur of agreement swept through the group. Ricky stood there, not knowing what to say or do, surrounded by 'the enemy'. His breathing picked up and his stomach clenched in knots. He'd never been face-to-face with so many gay men before. But none of them were making any threatening moves, and most of them were smiling at him...confusion rushed through him.
His state of bewilderment was broken into when the cop said: "Ricky Raynes, I'd like you to meet my friends. This is Freddy, Nathan, Daniel, Peter, Mark, and Colin." he pointed to each of the men as he named them, and they greeted Ricky with smiles or nods or "Hellos."
"Hi," he choked out in return. All he wanted was to get the hell out of this hospital room. He couldn't think. He needed to think.
"You seem kind of nervous, Ricky. Are you okay?" the guy named Peter asked in concern.
"Y-Yeah," he said hurriedly. "I just...I've just got to get going," he went on quickly. He began to edge toward the door, watching all of them warily out of the corner of his eye.
"Oh? That's too bad. It was nice to meet you, Ricky," another of them, Nathan, said.
"Yeah, sure. Uh, bye," he said, waving a hand at them all wildly, before he bolted out of the hospital room like someone had set his heels on fire.
The men gathered in the room watched Ricky scurry out. "What was that all about?" Freddy remarked, sounding puzzled. "James?"
"Don't look at me," the cop remarked with another shrug. "He was fine until you guys arrived. He was kind of upset because he felt like he'd been a coward in the bank, and that's why I got shot..."
"What do you mean?" Colin asked.
"Well, he froze when the perp told him to put his hands up. He looked like he might shoot Ricky when he couldn't move, so I had to act quickly. He felt like that made him a coward, that he couldn't move. I pointed out to him that it could happen to anybody who wasn't trained to handle dangerous situations, which is true. Other than that, he seemed all right until you guys barged in here. Maybe you scared him off," he added with a slight smile.
Freddy giggled as the others laughed. "Yes, we big bad gays scared the pants off of him," he chuckled merrily. "Or rather, we might have tried to if given enough time. He was kind of cute, don't you think?" he went on.
Several nods answered his question. "Definitely," Peter remarked. "Too bad he wasn't gay. Maybe that's what scared him. The typical straight guy's uneasiness around gay guys. Especially a pack of them."
"That could be it," James agreed. "You guys are pretty overwhelming when you're all together."
"The fabulousness was just too much for him to take," Freddy commented with a grin.
Ricky didn't remember driving home. He sat in his car in his driveway, breathing heavily while his fingers tightened on the steering wheel hard enough to leave dents in the plastic covering. His brain was gibbering inside his head. The cop. The cop that had saved his miserable, cowardly life, was gay. A gay man had saved him, was more courageous than he was! Oh, God! How was that possible? How could he ever tell his father about this? Bad enough that he'd frozen and almost gotten shot because of it, but then a gay man had had to save him? His father was sure to have a screaming fit. He might even disown Ricky. His pussy of a son being saved by a pansy. Shit.
He laid his forehead against the steering wheel, a sob clenched between his tightly-closed teeth. Why was this happening to him? Did God hate him or something? Was he being punished for some terrible sin? If so, what? He just didn't have a clue.
He could lie. It would be a sin, but a minor one. He wouldn't tell his parents what had really happened at the bank. This resolution made him feel a bit better, and he got out of his car and went into his house to make himself some dinner.
Later, he sat in front of the TV and watched the evening news. The polished talking head was saying: 'Following up on a news story of an attempted bank robbery yesterday, News 10 has learned that the Officer who shot the bank robber and saved the lives of at least a dozen people, including radio talk show host Ragin' Ricky Raynes, is an openly gay man. James Belmont is an eight-year veteran, and has earned several commendations for bravery before this. He did an interview a few years ago in which he stated that he was proud to be a gay man, and proud to serve the people of this city as a police officer. And this city is proud of Officer Belmont, and hope that there are many more like him on our police force serving and protecting us."
Ricky sat there, stunned, feeling a sick horror creeping up on him. There was no way that his parents had not seen this newscast; they always watched the evening news together before they went to bed. They'd know. He couldn't lie now. Oh, sweet Jesus, he was so screwed...
Ricky tossed and turned the entire night, his thoughts troubled and confused. It wasn't just the inevitable confrontation with his father that was weighing on him. He kept thinking about his radio show. Of the things he said on the air about gay people. He'd spent his entire career on the radio giving nothing but hate, and in return a gay man had saved his life. Guilt lay on him heavier than the duvet covering him. It was only now occurring to him that Jesus had said that you should love your fellow man; that he hadn't specified WHICH fellow man that you had to love, either. It was all of them. You couldn't pick or choose as a Christian who you should and shouldn't love.
He threw an arm over his eyes and groaned. Of course this had never occurred to him before; his father didn't love anybody! Not even his own wife and son. He'd seen his unloving parent spew hate over everyone ever since he'd been a small child, and to get even a bit of approval from the hateful old man he'd picked the group that his father hated the most - the gays - as his own enemies as well. Belatedly he questioned what God might have to say about his hateful ways, and those of his father. Had he condemned his very soul to an eternity in Hell? Hate the sin, not the sinner. He'd broken that admonition every day of his life so far.
Ricky was weary and bleary-eyed when he staggered into work the next day. He waved feebly at his technician, then sat down in his chair. When he saw the On Air light come on, he leaned forward and spoke slowly into the microphone. "Hey, all my listeners out there. This is Ricky Raynes speaking. Many of you might be aware that I was in a bank robbery a couple of days ago. Let's just say that the experience changed me. I...have done some soul searching, and have come to some conclusions. All of the stuff I've been saying about the gays...I'm not sure how much of it is true anymore. And I can't in good conscience come on the air every day and say those things if I'm not sure that they're right. I've got lots of thinking to do. I've enjoyed all the time that I've spent here, but I think it's time for a change. That's why I came on today to say...I'm quitting my show. I don't know where I'll go or where I'll end up, but this is something that I have to do for myself. So, goodbye everybody. This is Ricky Raynes, signing off for the last time," and he flicked the switch to take himself off the air, as his technician gaped at him in total shock.
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Chapter 2
Ricky stood there, frozen, as the small swarm of gay men descended on the hospital bed. The man wearing make-up and heels grabbed the cop's hand. "James, don't scare us like that!" he cried chidingly.
"Well, I'm sorry, Freddy, but it's not like I set out to get shot when I went to the bank yesterday," the cop remarked dryly.
"I know, I know; but I was just so scared!" the man called Freddy replied, squeezing his hand.
"Hazards of the job," the cop remarked with a shrug. "There's always the possibility that I might be shot."
"But not when you're off-duty!" one of the other men protested.
"The perp was going to shoot a civilian. I had to do something," the cop said patiently.
"Always the hero," drawled a third man, although there was affectionate exasperation in his voice.
"No, just a cop doing his duty. That's all."
"Do you have to be so calm about getting shot?" a fourth man demanded rather irritably, from the shelter of a fifth man's arms.
"What do you want? Do you want me to have hysterics every time that I take a bullet? I don't think that I'd get to keep my job for very long if I did that. Besides, I already take enough flack for being a gay cop. Can you imagine if I were a gay cop who wigged out every time he was in a dangerous situation? As an openly gay cop, I have to be a role model whether I like it or not."
Ricky's mouth fell open at these words, and his eyes bugged out of his head. His savior was...he couldn't be! No way! The man who'd saved his life and taken a bullet for him...was a fag?!
The man called Freddy sighed. "We know that, James," he said sadly. "But we're going to worry about you, you know that. That's what friends do."
"I appreciate that, Freddy. I'm really glad to have such good friends," the cop replied, looking at every one of the little crowd of gay men.
Ricky was taken aback. The caring and affection being displayed by these men...gay men were abominations! How could they show so much love for one another? It just didn't seem possible. Warily he wondered if he could just scurry out before anyone saw him, but before he could try one of the men happened to glance over at the table and spotted Ricky. "Hey," he said. "Hello. Who's this? Do you have a new boyfriend, James?" he asked the cop hopefully.
"No. This is...I'm sorry, I didn't get your name earlier," the cop said, glancing over at him.
"R-Ricky. Ricky Raynes," he stuttered, cringing at all of the eyes staring at him. The curious, interested eyes. There was no animosity in their stares.
"Ricky Raynes. He was the civilian that the perp was going to shoot in the bank. He came today to bring me some get-well gifts and make sure that I was all right," the cop explained to his friends.
"Why, how sweet!" one of the men said, smiling at Ricky. "Checking up on your hero! And you brought so much stuff," he added, looking at the gifts on the table behind Ricky. "I don't suppose that you're gay, are you?" he asked hopefully.
"No!" Ricky cried in horror.
"Too bad," the man said. "But it's still nice that you came to see James. So many people just take it for granted that cops will protect them, and they're not grateful when somebody saves their lives. This is a nice change."
A murmur of agreement swept through the group. Ricky stood there, not knowing what to say or do, surrounded by 'the enemy'. His breathing picked up and his stomach clenched in knots. He'd never been face-to-face with so many gay men before. But none of them were making any threatening moves, and most of them were smiling at him...confusion rushed through him.
His state of bewilderment was broken into when the cop said: "Ricky Raynes, I'd like you to meet my friends. This is Freddy, Nathan, Daniel, Peter, Mark, and Colin." he pointed to each of the men as he named them, and they greeted Ricky with smiles or nods or "Hellos."
"Hi," he choked out in return. All he wanted was to get the hell out of this hospital room. He couldn't think. He needed to think.
"You seem kind of nervous, Ricky. Are you okay?" the guy named Peter asked in concern.
"Y-Yeah," he said hurriedly. "I just...I've just got to get going," he went on quickly. He began to edge toward the door, watching all of them warily out of the corner of his eye.
"Oh? That's too bad. It was nice to meet you, Ricky," another of them, Nathan, said.
"Yeah, sure. Uh, bye," he said, waving a hand at them all wildly, before he bolted out of the hospital room like someone had set his heels on fire.
The men gathered in the room watched Ricky scurry out. "What was that all about?" Freddy remarked, sounding puzzled. "James?"
"Don't look at me," the cop remarked with another shrug. "He was fine until you guys arrived. He was kind of upset because he felt like he'd been a coward in the bank, and that's why I got shot..."
"What do you mean?" Colin asked.
"Well, he froze when the perp told him to put his hands up. He looked like he might shoot Ricky when he couldn't move, so I had to act quickly. He felt like that made him a coward, that he couldn't move. I pointed out to him that it could happen to anybody who wasn't trained to handle dangerous situations, which is true. Other than that, he seemed all right until you guys barged in here. Maybe you scared him off," he added with a slight smile.
Freddy giggled as the others laughed. "Yes, we big bad gays scared the pants off of him," he chuckled merrily. "Or rather, we might have tried to if given enough time. He was kind of cute, don't you think?" he went on.
Several nods answered his question. "Definitely," Peter remarked. "Too bad he wasn't gay. Maybe that's what scared him. The typical straight guy's uneasiness around gay guys. Especially a pack of them."
"That could be it," James agreed. "You guys are pretty overwhelming when you're all together."
"The fabulousness was just too much for him to take," Freddy commented with a grin.
Ricky didn't remember driving home. He sat in his car in his driveway, breathing heavily while his fingers tightened on the steering wheel hard enough to leave dents in the plastic covering. His brain was gibbering inside his head. The cop. The cop that had saved his miserable, cowardly life, was gay. A gay man had saved him, was more courageous than he was! Oh, God! How was that possible? How could he ever tell his father about this? Bad enough that he'd frozen and almost gotten shot because of it, but then a gay man had had to save him? His father was sure to have a screaming fit. He might even disown Ricky. His pussy of a son being saved by a pansy. Shit.
He laid his forehead against the steering wheel, a sob clenched between his tightly-closed teeth. Why was this happening to him? Did God hate him or something? Was he being punished for some terrible sin? If so, what? He just didn't have a clue.
He could lie. It would be a sin, but a minor one. He wouldn't tell his parents what had really happened at the bank. This resolution made him feel a bit better, and he got out of his car and went into his house to make himself some dinner.
Later, he sat in front of the TV and watched the evening news. The polished talking head was saying: 'Following up on a news story of an attempted bank robbery yesterday, News 10 has learned that the Officer who shot the bank robber and saved the lives of at least a dozen people, including radio talk show host Ragin' Ricky Raynes, is an openly gay man. James Belmont is an eight-year veteran, and has earned several commendations for bravery before this. He did an interview a few years ago in which he stated that he was proud to be a gay man, and proud to serve the people of this city as a police officer. And this city is proud of Officer Belmont, and hope that there are many more like him on our police force serving and protecting us."
Ricky sat there, stunned, feeling a sick horror creeping up on him. There was no way that his parents had not seen this newscast; they always watched the evening news together before they went to bed. They'd know. He couldn't lie now. Oh, sweet Jesus, he was so screwed...
Ricky tossed and turned the entire night, his thoughts troubled and confused. It wasn't just the inevitable confrontation with his father that was weighing on him. He kept thinking about his radio show. Of the things he said on the air about gay people. He'd spent his entire career on the radio giving nothing but hate, and in return a gay man had saved his life. Guilt lay on him heavier than the duvet covering him. It was only now occurring to him that Jesus had said that you should love your fellow man; that he hadn't specified WHICH fellow man that you had to love, either. It was all of them. You couldn't pick or choose as a Christian who you should and shouldn't love.
He threw an arm over his eyes and groaned. Of course this had never occurred to him before; his father didn't love anybody! Not even his own wife and son. He'd seen his unloving parent spew hate over everyone ever since he'd been a small child, and to get even a bit of approval from the hateful old man he'd picked the group that his father hated the most - the gays - as his own enemies as well. Belatedly he questioned what God might have to say about his hateful ways, and those of his father. Had he condemned his very soul to an eternity in Hell? Hate the sin, not the sinner. He'd broken that admonition every day of his life so far.
Ricky was weary and bleary-eyed when he staggered into work the next day. He waved feebly at his technician, then sat down in his chair. When he saw the On Air light come on, he leaned forward and spoke slowly into the microphone. "Hey, all my listeners out there. This is Ricky Raynes speaking. Many of you might be aware that I was in a bank robbery a couple of days ago. Let's just say that the experience changed me. I...have done some soul searching, and have come to some conclusions. All of the stuff I've been saying about the gays...I'm not sure how much of it is true anymore. And I can't in good conscience come on the air every day and say those things if I'm not sure that they're right. I've got lots of thinking to do. I've enjoyed all the time that I've spent here, but I think it's time for a change. That's why I came on today to say...I'm quitting my show. I don't know where I'll go or where I'll end up, but this is something that I have to do for myself. So, goodbye everybody. This is Ricky Raynes, signing off for the last time," and he flicked the switch to take himself off the air, as his technician gaped at him in total shock.
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