A/N: Here you are, Jane and Kojaky. And also kuroneko, sari, clovermax and nitya! Thanks for the reviews, i appreciate them! Also, sorry it took me so long to put something up, but your author has been sick for days and hasn't felt like writing anything-DL
Chapter 4
Riley managed to maintain the whole 'being just friends' with Keith for about a week. During that week, he chatted with Keith at work, and even went out with him again for another beer one night. He felt like he was finally getting a handle on his whole weird reaction to Keith, and was even considering picking up another woman to try once again to forget the night that he and Keith had spent together. Everything was looking up.
That is, until Monday morning of the second week, when arrived at work to find Keith flitting around the trailer looking all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning, Riley!" he cried happily, his eyes sparkling. "Coffee?"
"Yeah. Why are you so chipper?" Riley asked him cautiously.
Keith grinned whitely. "Why do you think?" he purred. "Because I got some this weekend, that's why."
Riley felt a bolt of some dark thing shoot through him, twisting up his stomach and making his chest feel tight. "Oh?" was all he managed to choke out through gritted teeth.
Keith didn't seem aware of his reaction. "Yeah! I met this guy at the bar! He's pretty awesome, and we went out on a date Saturday night. A date that didn't end until Sunday morning," he added cheerfully.
Riley could feel acid churning in his stomach like a volcano. "That's good," he said, trying to push the overwhelming wave of anger and jealousy away from him - without much success.
"I think so," Keith agreed. "Here's your coffee," he went on, handing Riley a cup. "Just the way you like it."
"Thanks," Riley said shortly. "So...you gonna see this guy again?" he asked casually, bracing himself for the answer.
"Uh huh. I'm thinking that I might start actually dating him. You know, have a real boyfriend this time? No more sex friends or one-night stands. I'd like to give monogamy a chance, I think," Keith mused.
Riley felt like he'd taken a hammer blow to the sternum. It was bad enough that someone else had had sex with Keith, had been inside that tight body and listened to that voice urging him on for "More, more...", but it was even worse that Keith was apparently going to date this guy! Maybe even have a long-term relationship with him. He felt sick. He had to get out of here.
"I'm going over to the site," he said, setting his coffee cup down on the table. "I'll see you later, Keith."
"Sure, Riley. I'll make sure that the plumbers are on time today," Keith told him.
"Great," he flipped a hand at Keith and fled from the trailer, standing outside in the cool morning air taking deep, sawing breaths.
His hands curled up at his sides. He knew he had absolutely no right to react this way. He was straight, and he'd made it clear to Keith that they were just friends. The man had the right to date anybody that he wanted to; to sleep with anybody that he wanted to. Keith wasn't his.
Suddenly he felt the tight prickle of heat under his lashes, and to his horror he realized that he was close to tears. Even the thought that Keith wasn't his was driving him to want to burst into tears! Oh, God! He was losing his mind! And all because he'd spent one night having sex with another man. He rubbed at his forehead, where a headache was beginning to throb dully. This was going to be a long day.
And indeed, it was. He plodded through it, avoiding Keith when he could and choking down the sandwich he bought for lunch. He fled work as soon as he possibly could, driving to a bar so that he could get a drink. Or two. Or maybe ten...anything to numb the dull ache in his chest.
He was sitting at a small wooden table, starting on his third glass of whiskey, staring morosely at the water stains on the tabletop; when somebody dropped into the chair across from him. He blinked up at the face of his friend Joe, as the other man peered at him intently. "Hey, Riley; you don't look so good, man," Joe remarked. "What's the matter?"
He scowled at Joe. He didn't really want to talk to anybody right now. "Nothing," he slurred.
"Yeah, right. Is it a chick? Come on, you can tell me."
Riley nodded his head slowly. "Yeah, it's a chick," he lied, not wanting to tell his friend the truth. It would wig Joe out if he admitted he was brooding over another guy.
"Tell Papa Joe all about it," his friend said coaxingly.
He shrugged. "I met this...girl..." he began, trying to force his mind to work so that he wouldn't screw up the pronouns. "At a party. We went back...to HER place..." he'd almost said HIS instead; he had to struggle not to make a mistake. "We did it..."
"Yeah, Riley got some," Joe said enthusiastically. "Way to go, man."
He wanted to snort; if Joe knew the truth... "I think that I...like her," he went on determinedly, "But SHE'S seeing another guy..." he finished sadly, half-bowing his head over his drink.
"Oh, wow. That's bad, man. I'm sorry," Joe said sympathetically. "So how long has she been seeing this other dude?"
Riley lifted his head again, peering owlishly at his friend's face. "Not long," he replied.
"Then why don't you tell her how you feel? After all, she already slept with you. She must like you a little," Joe pointed out. "If she's only been going out with this other guy for a few dates, they're not serious yet. If you tell her that you really like her, she might ditch that other guy and be with you instead. It can't hurt to try," he added.
"Do you really think so?" Riley asked hopefully.
"Why not? The worst thing that can happen is she tells you 'no', and while that'll hurt at least you'll have tried," Joe pointed out.
"You're right! I'll do it!" Riley declared, lurching drunkenly to his feet.
His friend rose to his feet and caught at his arm. "I think you should do it tomorrow, guy," he said in affectionate amusement. "If you go over to her place like this, she'll probably get upset. Come on; I'll drive you home so you can sleep it off."
"Okay," Riley slurred. "But tomorrow..."
"Yeah, tomorrow," Joe agreed, steering him out of the bar by the arm. "Come on, big guy. Time to go beddy-bye."
Riley awoke with a groan as morning sunlight flooded into his bedroom. He threw an arm up to cover his eyes, squinting against the light. He groaned in horror as his alarm began to beep on the bedside table. Oh, God! He needed to get up and go to work. But how could he, in this condition? All he wanted to do was be sick. Very, very sick. This is why he normally never drank more than a beer or two during the weekdays, saving any drinking binges for the weekend. Maybe he could just die right now, and then he'd have a good excuse not to go to work today.
He rolled over on his side, whimpering pitifully, to reach out and shut off that damn alarm. He sighed in relief when the irritating noise ceased at last, then pushed himself up a little. It was then that he noticed a piece of paper sitting on his bedside table next to the alarm. He picked it up and squinted at it, trying to make out what was written on it.
'Hey, Riley - I drove you home because you were totally smashed. Your truck is still parked at the bar. If you don't remember what we talked about last night, you're going to talk to that chick today and tell her you want her to break up with that other guy and go out with you instead. Don't be a pussy, man. Just do it - Joe.'
Riley grimaced as he read this note. What would Joe think if he knew that Riley was going to talk to another man? Ah, well. It didn't matter. He had to try to pull himself together enough to talk to Keith at work today. If he managed to get there...
Feebly he slid out of his bed, staggered off toward the bathroom with one hand pressed to his forehead. He felt like crap. What a way to feel when you were about to confess to somebody! He wished that he could call in sick; but he was afraid that if he didn't get the courage to talk to Keith today, he'd chicken out completely. So he forced himself to stay on his feet, and drooped over the sink in the bathroom. He grimaced at the reflection of at his pale face in the mirror, and at the dark circles under his eyes.
He ran some water in the sink and began to rinse his face with it. But he couldn't ignore the queasiness in his stomach, and finally he staggered over to the toilet and lost everything that was left in his stomach. He groaned feebly, bent over the toilet, wishing that he could just die.
After a few minutes of resting on the tile floor, he started to feel a bit better. He managed to get to his feet(very carefully) and got into the shower. He took a very hot shower, and the water helped to soothe away some of the aches and pains of the horrible hangover. he was feeling much more human when he stepped back out of the shower fifteen minutes later.
Riley went back into his bedroom and slowly got dressed. He didn't bother even thinking about putting any food in his stomach - not now, anyway. Maybe later. But he did stop in the kitchen to drink a couple glasses of water, to stay hydrated after losing his lunch. Then he walked slowly out to his truck and drove to work, bracing himself for the miserable day that lay ahead for him.
He saw Keith's little car parked next to the trailer, and his heart kicked up a beat and started racing. He stopped his truck, closed his eyes, and took several deep breaths as he braced himself. Finally he opened them again, squared his shoulders, and got out of his truck. He walked toward the trailer, trying to control his breathing and ignore the way his nerves were singing.
He opened the door and walked into the trailer. Keith was at his desk, and looked up with a smile. "Good morning, Riley!" he cried, then stared as Riley winced at how loud the volume of his voice was. "You look terrible. Are you okay?" Keith asked in concern.
"Yeah, I'm all right," he croaked.
"Are you sure? You sound terrible, too. Are you sick?"
He sighed. "No, hung over," he admitted. "I got really drunk last night."
Keith's brows shot up. "On a week day? What were you thinking?"
Riley stared at him. Then he took a deep breath, and said: "I was thinking that I was miserable," he said quietly. "And while getting drunk wouldn't make it any better, at least I'd forget for awhile."
"Forget? Forget what? Did something happen?" Keith asked in concern.
Here it was. The moment of truth. Riley met Keith's eyes and said: "Yeah. Something did happen. You got a boyfriend. And I...can't stand the thought of that, Keith. I really can't. I was so jealous I could barely see straight. I don't know why, but I can't get over the night we spent together. Something happened to me. And I can't seem to make it go away. And maybe...maybe I don't want it to go away. I don't know. All I know is that when you told me that you were seeing somebody else, I lost it. I got so drunk I couldn't even stand up. A friend had to drive me home. I just..." he ran his hands through his hair wildly. "I know that I shouldn't be saying this, because I ran out on you that first day and I've insisted that we should just be friends since then, but I..." he met Keith's widening eyes straight on, "I don't want to be friends with you. I want to be...I don't know...I guess I want to be your boyfriend instead."
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Chapter 4
Riley managed to maintain the whole 'being just friends' with Keith for about a week. During that week, he chatted with Keith at work, and even went out with him again for another beer one night. He felt like he was finally getting a handle on his whole weird reaction to Keith, and was even considering picking up another woman to try once again to forget the night that he and Keith had spent together. Everything was looking up.
That is, until Monday morning of the second week, when arrived at work to find Keith flitting around the trailer looking all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning, Riley!" he cried happily, his eyes sparkling. "Coffee?"
"Yeah. Why are you so chipper?" Riley asked him cautiously.
Keith grinned whitely. "Why do you think?" he purred. "Because I got some this weekend, that's why."
Riley felt a bolt of some dark thing shoot through him, twisting up his stomach and making his chest feel tight. "Oh?" was all he managed to choke out through gritted teeth.
Keith didn't seem aware of his reaction. "Yeah! I met this guy at the bar! He's pretty awesome, and we went out on a date Saturday night. A date that didn't end until Sunday morning," he added cheerfully.
Riley could feel acid churning in his stomach like a volcano. "That's good," he said, trying to push the overwhelming wave of anger and jealousy away from him - without much success.
"I think so," Keith agreed. "Here's your coffee," he went on, handing Riley a cup. "Just the way you like it."
"Thanks," Riley said shortly. "So...you gonna see this guy again?" he asked casually, bracing himself for the answer.
"Uh huh. I'm thinking that I might start actually dating him. You know, have a real boyfriend this time? No more sex friends or one-night stands. I'd like to give monogamy a chance, I think," Keith mused.
Riley felt like he'd taken a hammer blow to the sternum. It was bad enough that someone else had had sex with Keith, had been inside that tight body and listened to that voice urging him on for "More, more...", but it was even worse that Keith was apparently going to date this guy! Maybe even have a long-term relationship with him. He felt sick. He had to get out of here.
"I'm going over to the site," he said, setting his coffee cup down on the table. "I'll see you later, Keith."
"Sure, Riley. I'll make sure that the plumbers are on time today," Keith told him.
"Great," he flipped a hand at Keith and fled from the trailer, standing outside in the cool morning air taking deep, sawing breaths.
His hands curled up at his sides. He knew he had absolutely no right to react this way. He was straight, and he'd made it clear to Keith that they were just friends. The man had the right to date anybody that he wanted to; to sleep with anybody that he wanted to. Keith wasn't his.
Suddenly he felt the tight prickle of heat under his lashes, and to his horror he realized that he was close to tears. Even the thought that Keith wasn't his was driving him to want to burst into tears! Oh, God! He was losing his mind! And all because he'd spent one night having sex with another man. He rubbed at his forehead, where a headache was beginning to throb dully. This was going to be a long day.
And indeed, it was. He plodded through it, avoiding Keith when he could and choking down the sandwich he bought for lunch. He fled work as soon as he possibly could, driving to a bar so that he could get a drink. Or two. Or maybe ten...anything to numb the dull ache in his chest.
He was sitting at a small wooden table, starting on his third glass of whiskey, staring morosely at the water stains on the tabletop; when somebody dropped into the chair across from him. He blinked up at the face of his friend Joe, as the other man peered at him intently. "Hey, Riley; you don't look so good, man," Joe remarked. "What's the matter?"
He scowled at Joe. He didn't really want to talk to anybody right now. "Nothing," he slurred.
"Yeah, right. Is it a chick? Come on, you can tell me."
Riley nodded his head slowly. "Yeah, it's a chick," he lied, not wanting to tell his friend the truth. It would wig Joe out if he admitted he was brooding over another guy.
"Tell Papa Joe all about it," his friend said coaxingly.
He shrugged. "I met this...girl..." he began, trying to force his mind to work so that he wouldn't screw up the pronouns. "At a party. We went back...to HER place..." he'd almost said HIS instead; he had to struggle not to make a mistake. "We did it..."
"Yeah, Riley got some," Joe said enthusiastically. "Way to go, man."
He wanted to snort; if Joe knew the truth... "I think that I...like her," he went on determinedly, "But SHE'S seeing another guy..." he finished sadly, half-bowing his head over his drink.
"Oh, wow. That's bad, man. I'm sorry," Joe said sympathetically. "So how long has she been seeing this other dude?"
Riley lifted his head again, peering owlishly at his friend's face. "Not long," he replied.
"Then why don't you tell her how you feel? After all, she already slept with you. She must like you a little," Joe pointed out. "If she's only been going out with this other guy for a few dates, they're not serious yet. If you tell her that you really like her, she might ditch that other guy and be with you instead. It can't hurt to try," he added.
"Do you really think so?" Riley asked hopefully.
"Why not? The worst thing that can happen is she tells you 'no', and while that'll hurt at least you'll have tried," Joe pointed out.
"You're right! I'll do it!" Riley declared, lurching drunkenly to his feet.
His friend rose to his feet and caught at his arm. "I think you should do it tomorrow, guy," he said in affectionate amusement. "If you go over to her place like this, she'll probably get upset. Come on; I'll drive you home so you can sleep it off."
"Okay," Riley slurred. "But tomorrow..."
"Yeah, tomorrow," Joe agreed, steering him out of the bar by the arm. "Come on, big guy. Time to go beddy-bye."
Riley awoke with a groan as morning sunlight flooded into his bedroom. He threw an arm up to cover his eyes, squinting against the light. He groaned in horror as his alarm began to beep on the bedside table. Oh, God! He needed to get up and go to work. But how could he, in this condition? All he wanted to do was be sick. Very, very sick. This is why he normally never drank more than a beer or two during the weekdays, saving any drinking binges for the weekend. Maybe he could just die right now, and then he'd have a good excuse not to go to work today.
He rolled over on his side, whimpering pitifully, to reach out and shut off that damn alarm. He sighed in relief when the irritating noise ceased at last, then pushed himself up a little. It was then that he noticed a piece of paper sitting on his bedside table next to the alarm. He picked it up and squinted at it, trying to make out what was written on it.
'Hey, Riley - I drove you home because you were totally smashed. Your truck is still parked at the bar. If you don't remember what we talked about last night, you're going to talk to that chick today and tell her you want her to break up with that other guy and go out with you instead. Don't be a pussy, man. Just do it - Joe.'
Riley grimaced as he read this note. What would Joe think if he knew that Riley was going to talk to another man? Ah, well. It didn't matter. He had to try to pull himself together enough to talk to Keith at work today. If he managed to get there...
Feebly he slid out of his bed, staggered off toward the bathroom with one hand pressed to his forehead. He felt like crap. What a way to feel when you were about to confess to somebody! He wished that he could call in sick; but he was afraid that if he didn't get the courage to talk to Keith today, he'd chicken out completely. So he forced himself to stay on his feet, and drooped over the sink in the bathroom. He grimaced at the reflection of at his pale face in the mirror, and at the dark circles under his eyes.
He ran some water in the sink and began to rinse his face with it. But he couldn't ignore the queasiness in his stomach, and finally he staggered over to the toilet and lost everything that was left in his stomach. He groaned feebly, bent over the toilet, wishing that he could just die.
After a few minutes of resting on the tile floor, he started to feel a bit better. He managed to get to his feet(very carefully) and got into the shower. He took a very hot shower, and the water helped to soothe away some of the aches and pains of the horrible hangover. he was feeling much more human when he stepped back out of the shower fifteen minutes later.
Riley went back into his bedroom and slowly got dressed. He didn't bother even thinking about putting any food in his stomach - not now, anyway. Maybe later. But he did stop in the kitchen to drink a couple glasses of water, to stay hydrated after losing his lunch. Then he walked slowly out to his truck and drove to work, bracing himself for the miserable day that lay ahead for him.
He saw Keith's little car parked next to the trailer, and his heart kicked up a beat and started racing. He stopped his truck, closed his eyes, and took several deep breaths as he braced himself. Finally he opened them again, squared his shoulders, and got out of his truck. He walked toward the trailer, trying to control his breathing and ignore the way his nerves were singing.
He opened the door and walked into the trailer. Keith was at his desk, and looked up with a smile. "Good morning, Riley!" he cried, then stared as Riley winced at how loud the volume of his voice was. "You look terrible. Are you okay?" Keith asked in concern.
"Yeah, I'm all right," he croaked.
"Are you sure? You sound terrible, too. Are you sick?"
He sighed. "No, hung over," he admitted. "I got really drunk last night."
Keith's brows shot up. "On a week day? What were you thinking?"
Riley stared at him. Then he took a deep breath, and said: "I was thinking that I was miserable," he said quietly. "And while getting drunk wouldn't make it any better, at least I'd forget for awhile."
"Forget? Forget what? Did something happen?" Keith asked in concern.
Here it was. The moment of truth. Riley met Keith's eyes and said: "Yeah. Something did happen. You got a boyfriend. And I...can't stand the thought of that, Keith. I really can't. I was so jealous I could barely see straight. I don't know why, but I can't get over the night we spent together. Something happened to me. And I can't seem to make it go away. And maybe...maybe I don't want it to go away. I don't know. All I know is that when you told me that you were seeing somebody else, I lost it. I got so drunk I couldn't even stand up. A friend had to drive me home. I just..." he ran his hands through his hair wildly. "I know that I shouldn't be saying this, because I ran out on you that first day and I've insisted that we should just be friends since then, but I..." he met Keith's widening eyes straight on, "I don't want to be friends with you. I want to be...I don't know...I guess I want to be your boyfriend instead."
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