Chapter 4
Mortified, Rupert simply sat in his chair and stared helplessly at Pike across the tabletop. Realizing that he’d let his voice become too loud, Pike lowered it and hissed: “You’re really a virgin, Rupert? Seriously? How old are you?”
He felt color flood his face until it seemed like it might explode. “I’m twenty-five,” he choked out.
“Twenty-five and still a virgin. How’d you manage that?” Pike paused, seeing the consternation on Rupert’s face. “Look,” he began more gently, “I’m not saying that it’s bad or anything. I’m just surprised, that’s all. You’re pretty cute, Rupert. Seems like you’d be able to get any guy you wanted.”
“Maybe,” he replied tightly. “But I didn’t just want ‘any guy’. I wanted somebody special. A real boyfriend. I know that’s hard for you to understand, but…”
“I get it,” Pike interrupted him. “You have all these sappy romantic notions about finding ‘the one’ and living happily ever after.”
“No, I don’t!” he said sharply, making Pike blink. “But I also don’t think that sex is something that you do as casually as breathing. And I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with having standards, either. If I wanted, I could go out and pick some random, nameless guy up and have sex with him. I’d never have to see him again afterward, and the whole thing would be as impersonal as a business transaction. But that’s not what I want. It would make me feel too much like I’d bought a hooker. I want to at least like the person I have sex with, so I can look back on it later and remember them with fondness, if nothing else. Maybe that makes me crazy, or stupid, but…”
“No, actually I get where you’re coming from,” Pike remarked, taking him aback. “But why haven’t you found somebody you like enough to be with yet?”
He sighed. “Well, I didn’t start dating until my second year of college, because I was too scared before that to admit that I was gay. And the guy I started dating seemed like a nice person, but…”
“Turned out to be a normal college-age gay guy?” Pike said dryly. “All hormones and no sense?”
Rupert nodded miserably. “Yeah. We went out a few times, and I was thinking about letting him have sex with me, but then I went to his dorm room one day and found him in bed with someone else. He told me that he’d gotten tired of waiting for me to ‘put out’. That he was just using other guys as ‘place-holders’ until I came to my senses. I came to my senses all right - I told him what he could do with his ‘place-holders’,” Rupert said with a lift of his chin.
Pike grinned. “Bet that was a scene worth watching. That’s one of the things I like about you, Rupert. You’ve got guts. You were scared out of your wits at the bodega, but you held it together.”
“Bodega?” Rupert asked in puzzlement.
“That store. The Spanish word for them is ‘bodega’.” Pike explained.
“Oh,” Rupert shrugged his shoulders a little. “Well, having hysterics right there in the parking lot wouldn’t have done me any good.”
“Sure it wouldn’t have, but a lot of people would have had them anyway,” Pike remarked dryly. “So after you broke up with the guy in college, what then?”
Rupert sighed. “I didn’t go out with anybody after that for awhile. I felt like I couldn’t trust other gay men. All I saw was the ones around me screwing anything that moved. It was all casual sex with no strings attached, and nothing else. I would have tried that too, but…it’s not in my nature. And I’m really stubborn sometimes,” he added glumly. “Which made for a lot of long, lonely nights.”
“Actually, nights can be just as long and lonely even if you picked somebody up just to have sex with them,” Pike noted, making Rupert give him a surprised look. “Sure you do the nasty, but afterward you start making excuses for why you have to leave. Then you spend the rest of the night alone, or you spend it with a stranger whose name you didn’t even get. That can leave you feeling pretty lonely, let me tell you.”
Rupert didn’t know what to say to this. He’d always thought that everybody else besides him must be happier, because they were getting sex regularly and he wasn’t. Pike’s words made him see that perhaps those who indulged in casual sex might be just as unhappy as he was, but for different reasons. “I never thought about it that way,” he began slowly. “Do you ever feel like that, Pike?”
“Sure, lots of times,” Pike replied. “I’m not going to turn down a hook-up with a hot guy, but that doesn’t mean that it’s all hearts and roses just because I got some sex. I’ve never really thought about it before you, Rupert, but you may just be right. Not that I’m going to give up having sex just because it’s not as fulfilling as I might like it to be,’” he went on dryly.
Rupert hesitated, biting at his lip. But then he decided to go for it. “You wouldn’t have to give up sex if you found somebody special,” he pointed out boldly. “If you ask me, you’d just be having BETTER sex because it’d be with somebody you care about. You could try it, Pike. You never know, you might like it.”
Pike’s smile was lop-sided. “You sound like a salesman trying to talk me into buying your product,” he teased.
Rupert shrugged. “Maybe I am,” he replied tartly.
Pike chuckled. “You’re funny, Rupert. Well, I’ll let you give your pitch. Doesn’t mean that I’ll actually buy anything, but I must admit I enjoy the show.”
The waiter brought their food just then, and Pike turned his attention to his plate. Rupert was happy to do the same, as talking about why he was still a virgin was too embarrassing with someone like Pike. He’d dated a few men in the past, but none of them had ever worked out. Like the first one in college, several had turned out to have wandering penises. And another one had been a controlling, rather abusive man who’d reminded him sharply of his father. He’d begun to despair of ever finding anyone who he wanted to sleep with, even for the short term. But now…he glanced up across the tabletop at Pike, pausing in taking a bite of the excellent lasagna.
Yes, Pike was a tomcat. But he knew that going in, so he wouldn’t be hurt if Pike couldn’t keep it in his pants. Maybe he was being foolish, going out with someone like Pike. But he was getting awfully tired of being a lonely, virginal person with lots of common sense. Perhaps a little foolishness was required to bring about a change in his life. And if it didn’t work out, that was all right. Sometimes you just had to take a chance, no matter what.
Pike caught him staring and glanced up himself. “Do you like the food?” he asked.
“Yes,” Rupert replied. “It’s really good.”
“Told you so. I knew you’d like it,” Pike took a bite of his calamari.
Neither of them talked for a bit after that, finishing their meals. Pike finally took a long pull on his beer bottle, looking at Rupert’s mostly empty plate. “You’ve got a good appetite,” he noted. “Do you eat like that all the time? You seem pretty skinny,” he added, looking Rupert over.
He flushed. “I’m not skinny,” he said defensively. This was one of his touchy points; he’d never been a person who could put on much muscle no matter how hard he tried.
Pike grinned. “Hey, skinny is hot,” he teased, his dark eyes laughing.
Rupert glared at him, which made his grin widen. “Let’s have some dessert,” he said. “Momma makes the best cannolis, and some pretty great chocolate tiramisu. Maybe we can put some weight on you,” he said slyly.
Rupert would have stuck his tongue out at Pike if that hadn’t been childish. Instead he said: “Sure, why not. But you should get an extra portion for the skunk on the top of your head.”
Pike stared at him, then he began to laugh heartily. “You can give as good as you get,” he chortled. “I think I’m really starting to like you, Rupert.”
He felt his stomach muscles tighten at these laughing words, reminding himself silently that Pike didn’t mean ‘like’ in the way he wanted him to. Pike waved at the waiter to get his attention, and ordered them two desserts. Then he went off to the kitchen with Antonio to talk to ‘Momma’, leaving Rupert sitting alone with a piece of chocolate tiramisu in front of him. He picked up his fork and took a bite, savoring it. He looked around the restaurant, wondering at himself. He’d asked out a guy instead of the other way around, and what a guy! Pike wasn’t like anyone else that he’d ever met before in his entire life. Maybe that’s why he was fascinated by him. He had no idea if this was going anywhere, nor did he care. Rupert had decided to live for the moment in this case, and let what happened, happen.
Pike returned with lipstick smears on his cheek and a smile on his lips. “Momma is so happy that I brought a date here that she practically hugged the breath out of me,” he told Rupert as he picked up his fork to eat his own dessert. “She wasn’t happy when she found out that I was into guys back in high school, but once she accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to ever find a nice girl and settle down to have lots of bambinos, she became determined that I should find a nice guy instead and settle down with HIM. But I’ve always disappointed her before this. When Antonio told her I brought a date tonight, she practically cried. She doesn’t care that you’re not Italian,” he added, his eyes laughing, “Although she’s tried to set me up with a few gay Italian guys before this. All she cares about is that you have a pulse and you’re actually my date. I think you’re in a her good books, Rupert.”
“Umm…” he said uncertainly.
“Be prepared to be pampered and coddled by a large, overwhelming Italian woman,” Pike told him in amusement. “Although if she hugs you as tightly as she did me just now, she’ll probably break your ribs.”
Rupert glowered at him for this not-so-subtle crack about how skinny he was, making Pike’s lips twitch. “Yumm,” he said, taking a bite of his tiramisu. “God, this is good. Better than crack.”
Rupert had to admit that this was true, although he’d never actually tried crack before this. Once Pike finished his dessert(it didn’t take long), he set his fork on the empty plate. “Let’s get out of here before Momma ambushes you,” he told Rupert, getting to his feet. “Otherwise, it’ll take us hours to get out of here. Come on, Rupert.”
He picked up the check. When Pike glad-eyed him, he shrugged. “I’m sure I make more money than you,” he said simply.
“Too true. Come on, then,” Pike strolled away, and Rupert went up to the counter to pay the bill, after he left a generous tip on the table for Antonio.
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Mortified, Rupert simply sat in his chair and stared helplessly at Pike across the tabletop. Realizing that he’d let his voice become too loud, Pike lowered it and hissed: “You’re really a virgin, Rupert? Seriously? How old are you?”
He felt color flood his face until it seemed like it might explode. “I’m twenty-five,” he choked out.
“Twenty-five and still a virgin. How’d you manage that?” Pike paused, seeing the consternation on Rupert’s face. “Look,” he began more gently, “I’m not saying that it’s bad or anything. I’m just surprised, that’s all. You’re pretty cute, Rupert. Seems like you’d be able to get any guy you wanted.”
“Maybe,” he replied tightly. “But I didn’t just want ‘any guy’. I wanted somebody special. A real boyfriend. I know that’s hard for you to understand, but…”
“I get it,” Pike interrupted him. “You have all these sappy romantic notions about finding ‘the one’ and living happily ever after.”
“No, I don’t!” he said sharply, making Pike blink. “But I also don’t think that sex is something that you do as casually as breathing. And I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with having standards, either. If I wanted, I could go out and pick some random, nameless guy up and have sex with him. I’d never have to see him again afterward, and the whole thing would be as impersonal as a business transaction. But that’s not what I want. It would make me feel too much like I’d bought a hooker. I want to at least like the person I have sex with, so I can look back on it later and remember them with fondness, if nothing else. Maybe that makes me crazy, or stupid, but…”
“No, actually I get where you’re coming from,” Pike remarked, taking him aback. “But why haven’t you found somebody you like enough to be with yet?”
He sighed. “Well, I didn’t start dating until my second year of college, because I was too scared before that to admit that I was gay. And the guy I started dating seemed like a nice person, but…”
“Turned out to be a normal college-age gay guy?” Pike said dryly. “All hormones and no sense?”
Rupert nodded miserably. “Yeah. We went out a few times, and I was thinking about letting him have sex with me, but then I went to his dorm room one day and found him in bed with someone else. He told me that he’d gotten tired of waiting for me to ‘put out’. That he was just using other guys as ‘place-holders’ until I came to my senses. I came to my senses all right - I told him what he could do with his ‘place-holders’,” Rupert said with a lift of his chin.
Pike grinned. “Bet that was a scene worth watching. That’s one of the things I like about you, Rupert. You’ve got guts. You were scared out of your wits at the bodega, but you held it together.”
“Bodega?” Rupert asked in puzzlement.
“That store. The Spanish word for them is ‘bodega’.” Pike explained.
“Oh,” Rupert shrugged his shoulders a little. “Well, having hysterics right there in the parking lot wouldn’t have done me any good.”
“Sure it wouldn’t have, but a lot of people would have had them anyway,” Pike remarked dryly. “So after you broke up with the guy in college, what then?”
Rupert sighed. “I didn’t go out with anybody after that for awhile. I felt like I couldn’t trust other gay men. All I saw was the ones around me screwing anything that moved. It was all casual sex with no strings attached, and nothing else. I would have tried that too, but…it’s not in my nature. And I’m really stubborn sometimes,” he added glumly. “Which made for a lot of long, lonely nights.”
“Actually, nights can be just as long and lonely even if you picked somebody up just to have sex with them,” Pike noted, making Rupert give him a surprised look. “Sure you do the nasty, but afterward you start making excuses for why you have to leave. Then you spend the rest of the night alone, or you spend it with a stranger whose name you didn’t even get. That can leave you feeling pretty lonely, let me tell you.”
Rupert didn’t know what to say to this. He’d always thought that everybody else besides him must be happier, because they were getting sex regularly and he wasn’t. Pike’s words made him see that perhaps those who indulged in casual sex might be just as unhappy as he was, but for different reasons. “I never thought about it that way,” he began slowly. “Do you ever feel like that, Pike?”
“Sure, lots of times,” Pike replied. “I’m not going to turn down a hook-up with a hot guy, but that doesn’t mean that it’s all hearts and roses just because I got some sex. I’ve never really thought about it before you, Rupert, but you may just be right. Not that I’m going to give up having sex just because it’s not as fulfilling as I might like it to be,’” he went on dryly.
Rupert hesitated, biting at his lip. But then he decided to go for it. “You wouldn’t have to give up sex if you found somebody special,” he pointed out boldly. “If you ask me, you’d just be having BETTER sex because it’d be with somebody you care about. You could try it, Pike. You never know, you might like it.”
Pike’s smile was lop-sided. “You sound like a salesman trying to talk me into buying your product,” he teased.
Rupert shrugged. “Maybe I am,” he replied tartly.
Pike chuckled. “You’re funny, Rupert. Well, I’ll let you give your pitch. Doesn’t mean that I’ll actually buy anything, but I must admit I enjoy the show.”
The waiter brought their food just then, and Pike turned his attention to his plate. Rupert was happy to do the same, as talking about why he was still a virgin was too embarrassing with someone like Pike. He’d dated a few men in the past, but none of them had ever worked out. Like the first one in college, several had turned out to have wandering penises. And another one had been a controlling, rather abusive man who’d reminded him sharply of his father. He’d begun to despair of ever finding anyone who he wanted to sleep with, even for the short term. But now…he glanced up across the tabletop at Pike, pausing in taking a bite of the excellent lasagna.
Yes, Pike was a tomcat. But he knew that going in, so he wouldn’t be hurt if Pike couldn’t keep it in his pants. Maybe he was being foolish, going out with someone like Pike. But he was getting awfully tired of being a lonely, virginal person with lots of common sense. Perhaps a little foolishness was required to bring about a change in his life. And if it didn’t work out, that was all right. Sometimes you just had to take a chance, no matter what.
Pike caught him staring and glanced up himself. “Do you like the food?” he asked.
“Yes,” Rupert replied. “It’s really good.”
“Told you so. I knew you’d like it,” Pike took a bite of his calamari.
Neither of them talked for a bit after that, finishing their meals. Pike finally took a long pull on his beer bottle, looking at Rupert’s mostly empty plate. “You’ve got a good appetite,” he noted. “Do you eat like that all the time? You seem pretty skinny,” he added, looking Rupert over.
He flushed. “I’m not skinny,” he said defensively. This was one of his touchy points; he’d never been a person who could put on much muscle no matter how hard he tried.
Pike grinned. “Hey, skinny is hot,” he teased, his dark eyes laughing.
Rupert glared at him, which made his grin widen. “Let’s have some dessert,” he said. “Momma makes the best cannolis, and some pretty great chocolate tiramisu. Maybe we can put some weight on you,” he said slyly.
Rupert would have stuck his tongue out at Pike if that hadn’t been childish. Instead he said: “Sure, why not. But you should get an extra portion for the skunk on the top of your head.”
Pike stared at him, then he began to laugh heartily. “You can give as good as you get,” he chortled. “I think I’m really starting to like you, Rupert.”
He felt his stomach muscles tighten at these laughing words, reminding himself silently that Pike didn’t mean ‘like’ in the way he wanted him to. Pike waved at the waiter to get his attention, and ordered them two desserts. Then he went off to the kitchen with Antonio to talk to ‘Momma’, leaving Rupert sitting alone with a piece of chocolate tiramisu in front of him. He picked up his fork and took a bite, savoring it. He looked around the restaurant, wondering at himself. He’d asked out a guy instead of the other way around, and what a guy! Pike wasn’t like anyone else that he’d ever met before in his entire life. Maybe that’s why he was fascinated by him. He had no idea if this was going anywhere, nor did he care. Rupert had decided to live for the moment in this case, and let what happened, happen.
Pike returned with lipstick smears on his cheek and a smile on his lips. “Momma is so happy that I brought a date here that she practically hugged the breath out of me,” he told Rupert as he picked up his fork to eat his own dessert. “She wasn’t happy when she found out that I was into guys back in high school, but once she accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to ever find a nice girl and settle down to have lots of bambinos, she became determined that I should find a nice guy instead and settle down with HIM. But I’ve always disappointed her before this. When Antonio told her I brought a date tonight, she practically cried. She doesn’t care that you’re not Italian,” he added, his eyes laughing, “Although she’s tried to set me up with a few gay Italian guys before this. All she cares about is that you have a pulse and you’re actually my date. I think you’re in a her good books, Rupert.”
“Umm…” he said uncertainly.
“Be prepared to be pampered and coddled by a large, overwhelming Italian woman,” Pike told him in amusement. “Although if she hugs you as tightly as she did me just now, she’ll probably break your ribs.”
Rupert glowered at him for this not-so-subtle crack about how skinny he was, making Pike’s lips twitch. “Yumm,” he said, taking a bite of his tiramisu. “God, this is good. Better than crack.”
Rupert had to admit that this was true, although he’d never actually tried crack before this. Once Pike finished his dessert(it didn’t take long), he set his fork on the empty plate. “Let’s get out of here before Momma ambushes you,” he told Rupert, getting to his feet. “Otherwise, it’ll take us hours to get out of here. Come on, Rupert.”
He picked up the check. When Pike glad-eyed him, he shrugged. “I’m sure I make more money than you,” he said simply.
“Too true. Come on, then,” Pike strolled away, and Rupert went up to the counter to pay the bill, after he left a generous tip on the table for Antonio.
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