A/N: Will Leon come around? Only time will tell... :P Anyhoo, reviews would be nice. Send some my way, sweet people. -DL
Chapter 8
The evening was a disaster. Leon tried hard to forget the fact that Caleb Vargunin had moved back in across from him, and even worse was claiming that he wanted Leon to forgive him so that they could get together. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't. Every time he tried to talk to a man, all he could see was Caleb's face superimposed over the other guy's. This made it very hard for him to flirt and chat and dance, because how could he find any other guy attractive when all he could see was Caleb's face? One person asked him out, and Leon wanted to say yes...but in the end, he had to turn the guy down. It wouldn't be fair to go out on a date with someone when he was thinking about someone else all the time.
Gloomily he returned to his apartment that night, his shoulders slumped as he walked along the sidewalk. He was SO screwed! How was he ever supposed to have a love life if he was obsessed with the sexy bastard living across from him? He sighed. He didn't know how long he'd be able to take this. Maybe he should move? Get as far away from Caleb Vargunin as he could? But he didn't want to go! He liked it here! He had lots of friends in the apartment complex. Why should he have to be the one to leave?
He'd just have to try to figure out a way to make Caleb leave. To make him understand that Leon was never going to forgive him, and that he needed to leave Leon alone so that he could move forward with his life. That was the ticket. He'd have to talk to Caleb again to make that happen, but he could do it. He was strong. He wasn't going to fall for that bastard's charms, damn it!
He glanced over at Caleb's apartment as he put his key in the lock. The lights were out in the apartment, and only the small light over the front door and the tall lights on poles that illuminated the courtyard allowed him to see the closed door and darkened window. He was glad that Caleb was in bed; he didn't want to have this conversation in the middle of the night.
Tomorrow was Saturday; maybe he'd try to talk to Caleb then.
He sighed wearily and opened his door, walking into his apartment and flipping on the light in the living room. Felina blinked up at him from the couch sleepily, before she yawned in a pink display. "Hey, baby," Leon crooned to her, going over to scoop her up. "Daddy had a bad night, and it's all that horrible man Caleb's fault."
The cat butted her head against him affectionately, and he scratched her white ears. "Why did he have to come back into my life, honey?" he whispered to her. "Why couldn't he leave me alone?"
The cat only purred and rubbed her face against his arm. Leon took her with him as he headed toward his bedroom. He needed something to cuddle with tonight; he needed that very much.
"I can't BELIEVE he moved back here!" Kallie cried indignantly.
Leon leaned back in the lounge chair. "I couldn't believe it either," he replied dryly. "And what's worse, he had the balls to tell me that he wants me to forgive him for what happened, and that we should get together."
Kallie stared at him. "He wants to...how do you feel about that?" she asked.
Leon sighed, fiddling with the sunglasses he was wearing. "I don't know," he said glumly. "On the one hand, I'm really, REALLY pissed off at him. On the other hand, though, I know that he was only doing his job. Yes, he shouldn't have gotten so close to me if he was just supposed to be watching me. But he claims now that it's because he couldn't resist me. I have to admit, that's really good for the ego," he went on wryly.
"It is, yes," Kallie agreed. "And he said that he'd do anything to get you to forgive him? And that he wants you two to get together?"
"Yeah, that's basically the gist of it," Leon agreed.
"Well, you have to admit that that's sort of romantic," Kallie said.
"I am aware of that," he replied, reaching for the bottle of sun block sitting on the table next to his chair. "But he hurt me, Kallie. A lot. I'm not sure that I can forgive him and let him into my life, no matter what he does."
"Yes, I can see why you wouldn't want to," she said slowly, "But the thing is...whether you want to or not, will you be able to stop yourself? If he goes all out, will you be able to resist him? Be honest, now."
He stared at her over the tops of his sunglasses, feeling apprehension run through him. If Caleb came to him, all penitent and hopeful that Leon would forgive him, would he be able to stay angry? He just didn't know. He REALLY needed to have that talk with Caleb soon, and convince him to leave. Otherwise, he could be in a world of hurt.
As he was leaving the pool, he saw that the door of Caleb's apartment was standing open. He hesitated, and as he did so Caleb came out into the courtyard. When he saw Leon, he stopped in his tracks. "Leon," he said, and his voice was caressing. The sound of it sent shivers down his spine.
"Caleb," he said tightly, his body stiff.
Caleb's black eyes tracked down his body slowly, and he felt heat flare up in him as that appreciative gaze ran over his bare chest and legs. He was only wearing a pair of tan shorts, and suddenly he felt completely nude and exposed as Caleb's eyes took him in. The darkly burning orbs came back to his face, and he found himself panting desperately. The smallest of smiles slid over Caleb's lips, and Leon found his eyes focused on them. He wanted desperately for Caleb to come over and kiss him, right here and now in public.
He took in a deep, shuddering breath as he pulled himself together. "Caleb," he said tightly. "I want to talk to you."
The other man's eyebrows rose slightly. "Oh? About what?" Caleb asked, sounding hopeful.
He hugged himself a little as he replied: "About you living here. Please, can we talk?"
Caleb now looked wary. "All right. Come on in," he waved a hand at the open door of his apartment.
Leon didn't want to go in there, he really didn't. But he also didn't want to have this conversation in public, so he lifted his chin and walked on slightly shaky legs into Caleb's apartment. He darted into the living room, turning like a man at bay to confront Caleb. "What did you want to talk about?" Caleb asked, watching him warily.
"I want you to leave!" Leon cried, knowing he sounded shrill but not caring. "It's not fair, you coming back here! How can I get my life back with you always there, living across from me, reminding me of what happened? I want a love life, but how can I have one when I can't trust people anymore? That's your fault!" he added angrily, glaring at Caleb.
Caleb sighed. "I know it is," he replied sadly. "And I'm sorry. But I want to make it up to you, Leon."
"You can't! Please, won't you just go away?"
Caleb studied his face. "Is that really what you want?" he asked quietly. "Or is that just fear talking? You're scared to trust me again, I can understand that. But Leon, letting fear win won't do you or anybody else any good. It keeps you from all of the best things in life. I know that I shouldn't have gotten close to you under false pretenses. But you have to admit that I made sure that there was no chance for a more intimate relationship between us, because that would have really hurt you. Yes, I shouldn't have become your friend. But how much worse would it have been if we'd become lovers, and then you'd found out that I was assigned to watch you? I'm not a completely bad guy, Leon. And I think that you and I could be really good together, if only you'll give me another chance. That's why I won't leave, Leon. Because I want that chance. I may not deserve it, but I still want it. I want the chance to spend the rest of my life making you happy."
The sincerity in his words and face shook Leon down to his very core. His heart was hammering in his chest, and he seemed to be having trouble breathing past the lump in his throat. "But...I can't..." he began in a choked voice.
"I think that you can, Leon. In time, that is. I'm willing to give you that time. But I'm not willing to just go away with my tail between my legs and never see you again. I'm sorry, but that's the one thing I can't do."
Leon glared at him, though the sheen of tears in his eyes rather negated the impact of his angry stare. "I hate you!" he hissed.
"No, you don't," Caleb said gently. "You just wish that you did."
This thrust was so close to him that it made him flinch. "I'm leaving," he snarled, stalking past Caleb toward the open front door.
"All right. I'll see you later, Leon," Caleb said behind him.
He paused in his tracks, stiffening. Then he went on without saying another word, because he wasn't sure that he could have. He stalked away to his own apartment, elaborately slamming his front door behind him.
Leon paced his apartment, muttering to himself angrily. His little talk with Caleb had not gone at all as he'd hoped it would. Well, maybe he hadn't really thought that he'd be able to get Caleb to move, but...at least there had been hope. Now there was none. Caleb had made it very clear that he wasn't going anywhere, and that he'd continue to try to get Leon to forgive him so that they could be together. And the worst part about it was that he wanted the same thing...
But he couldn't give in. He couldn't give up his righteous anger at Caleb. The man had lied to him and used him. Sure, he'd only been doing his job. But he shouldn't have gotten so close to Leon, shouldn't have wormed his way into his affections.,.
Except...Caleb had been right when he'd said that he hadn't done the truly unforgivable. He hadn't become Leon's lover, which really would have destroyed him when he found out that Caleb was lying to him. His story about having just broken up with an abusive boyfriend had kept Leon from trying to hit on him, or trying to lure him into his bed. It could have been so much worse, if Caleb hadn't done that.
This reasonable thought made him snarl again. he didn't want to think reasonable things about Caleb. He just wanted to hate the man. Unfortunately, Caleb had been right about that, too. He didn't hate Caleb Vargunin, he just wanted to.
He sank down on his couch, putting his head in his hands with a moan. Why? Why was this happening to him? After his last boyfriend had moved away, all he'd wanted was to meet a nice guy who could help him get over his break-up. And he had, or so he'd thought. But then he'd discovered that the 'nice guy' was actually just using him, watching him, following him...and now ,just when he'd started to get over the pain, this same man had had the temerity to come strolling back into his life and ask to be forgiven. He didn't want a complicated life. But whether he wanted it or not, it looked like he was stuck with one for who knew how long...
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Chapter 8
The evening was a disaster. Leon tried hard to forget the fact that Caleb Vargunin had moved back in across from him, and even worse was claiming that he wanted Leon to forgive him so that they could get together. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't. Every time he tried to talk to a man, all he could see was Caleb's face superimposed over the other guy's. This made it very hard for him to flirt and chat and dance, because how could he find any other guy attractive when all he could see was Caleb's face? One person asked him out, and Leon wanted to say yes...but in the end, he had to turn the guy down. It wouldn't be fair to go out on a date with someone when he was thinking about someone else all the time.
Gloomily he returned to his apartment that night, his shoulders slumped as he walked along the sidewalk. He was SO screwed! How was he ever supposed to have a love life if he was obsessed with the sexy bastard living across from him? He sighed. He didn't know how long he'd be able to take this. Maybe he should move? Get as far away from Caleb Vargunin as he could? But he didn't want to go! He liked it here! He had lots of friends in the apartment complex. Why should he have to be the one to leave?
He'd just have to try to figure out a way to make Caleb leave. To make him understand that Leon was never going to forgive him, and that he needed to leave Leon alone so that he could move forward with his life. That was the ticket. He'd have to talk to Caleb again to make that happen, but he could do it. He was strong. He wasn't going to fall for that bastard's charms, damn it!
He glanced over at Caleb's apartment as he put his key in the lock. The lights were out in the apartment, and only the small light over the front door and the tall lights on poles that illuminated the courtyard allowed him to see the closed door and darkened window. He was glad that Caleb was in bed; he didn't want to have this conversation in the middle of the night.
Tomorrow was Saturday; maybe he'd try to talk to Caleb then.
He sighed wearily and opened his door, walking into his apartment and flipping on the light in the living room. Felina blinked up at him from the couch sleepily, before she yawned in a pink display. "Hey, baby," Leon crooned to her, going over to scoop her up. "Daddy had a bad night, and it's all that horrible man Caleb's fault."
The cat butted her head against him affectionately, and he scratched her white ears. "Why did he have to come back into my life, honey?" he whispered to her. "Why couldn't he leave me alone?"
The cat only purred and rubbed her face against his arm. Leon took her with him as he headed toward his bedroom. He needed something to cuddle with tonight; he needed that very much.
"I can't BELIEVE he moved back here!" Kallie cried indignantly.
Leon leaned back in the lounge chair. "I couldn't believe it either," he replied dryly. "And what's worse, he had the balls to tell me that he wants me to forgive him for what happened, and that we should get together."
Kallie stared at him. "He wants to...how do you feel about that?" she asked.
Leon sighed, fiddling with the sunglasses he was wearing. "I don't know," he said glumly. "On the one hand, I'm really, REALLY pissed off at him. On the other hand, though, I know that he was only doing his job. Yes, he shouldn't have gotten so close to me if he was just supposed to be watching me. But he claims now that it's because he couldn't resist me. I have to admit, that's really good for the ego," he went on wryly.
"It is, yes," Kallie agreed. "And he said that he'd do anything to get you to forgive him? And that he wants you two to get together?"
"Yeah, that's basically the gist of it," Leon agreed.
"Well, you have to admit that that's sort of romantic," Kallie said.
"I am aware of that," he replied, reaching for the bottle of sun block sitting on the table next to his chair. "But he hurt me, Kallie. A lot. I'm not sure that I can forgive him and let him into my life, no matter what he does."
"Yes, I can see why you wouldn't want to," she said slowly, "But the thing is...whether you want to or not, will you be able to stop yourself? If he goes all out, will you be able to resist him? Be honest, now."
He stared at her over the tops of his sunglasses, feeling apprehension run through him. If Caleb came to him, all penitent and hopeful that Leon would forgive him, would he be able to stay angry? He just didn't know. He REALLY needed to have that talk with Caleb soon, and convince him to leave. Otherwise, he could be in a world of hurt.
As he was leaving the pool, he saw that the door of Caleb's apartment was standing open. He hesitated, and as he did so Caleb came out into the courtyard. When he saw Leon, he stopped in his tracks. "Leon," he said, and his voice was caressing. The sound of it sent shivers down his spine.
"Caleb," he said tightly, his body stiff.
Caleb's black eyes tracked down his body slowly, and he felt heat flare up in him as that appreciative gaze ran over his bare chest and legs. He was only wearing a pair of tan shorts, and suddenly he felt completely nude and exposed as Caleb's eyes took him in. The darkly burning orbs came back to his face, and he found himself panting desperately. The smallest of smiles slid over Caleb's lips, and Leon found his eyes focused on them. He wanted desperately for Caleb to come over and kiss him, right here and now in public.
He took in a deep, shuddering breath as he pulled himself together. "Caleb," he said tightly. "I want to talk to you."
The other man's eyebrows rose slightly. "Oh? About what?" Caleb asked, sounding hopeful.
He hugged himself a little as he replied: "About you living here. Please, can we talk?"
Caleb now looked wary. "All right. Come on in," he waved a hand at the open door of his apartment.
Leon didn't want to go in there, he really didn't. But he also didn't want to have this conversation in public, so he lifted his chin and walked on slightly shaky legs into Caleb's apartment. He darted into the living room, turning like a man at bay to confront Caleb. "What did you want to talk about?" Caleb asked, watching him warily.
"I want you to leave!" Leon cried, knowing he sounded shrill but not caring. "It's not fair, you coming back here! How can I get my life back with you always there, living across from me, reminding me of what happened? I want a love life, but how can I have one when I can't trust people anymore? That's your fault!" he added angrily, glaring at Caleb.
Caleb sighed. "I know it is," he replied sadly. "And I'm sorry. But I want to make it up to you, Leon."
"You can't! Please, won't you just go away?"
Caleb studied his face. "Is that really what you want?" he asked quietly. "Or is that just fear talking? You're scared to trust me again, I can understand that. But Leon, letting fear win won't do you or anybody else any good. It keeps you from all of the best things in life. I know that I shouldn't have gotten close to you under false pretenses. But you have to admit that I made sure that there was no chance for a more intimate relationship between us, because that would have really hurt you. Yes, I shouldn't have become your friend. But how much worse would it have been if we'd become lovers, and then you'd found out that I was assigned to watch you? I'm not a completely bad guy, Leon. And I think that you and I could be really good together, if only you'll give me another chance. That's why I won't leave, Leon. Because I want that chance. I may not deserve it, but I still want it. I want the chance to spend the rest of my life making you happy."
The sincerity in his words and face shook Leon down to his very core. His heart was hammering in his chest, and he seemed to be having trouble breathing past the lump in his throat. "But...I can't..." he began in a choked voice.
"I think that you can, Leon. In time, that is. I'm willing to give you that time. But I'm not willing to just go away with my tail between my legs and never see you again. I'm sorry, but that's the one thing I can't do."
Leon glared at him, though the sheen of tears in his eyes rather negated the impact of his angry stare. "I hate you!" he hissed.
"No, you don't," Caleb said gently. "You just wish that you did."
This thrust was so close to him that it made him flinch. "I'm leaving," he snarled, stalking past Caleb toward the open front door.
"All right. I'll see you later, Leon," Caleb said behind him.
He paused in his tracks, stiffening. Then he went on without saying another word, because he wasn't sure that he could have. He stalked away to his own apartment, elaborately slamming his front door behind him.
Leon paced his apartment, muttering to himself angrily. His little talk with Caleb had not gone at all as he'd hoped it would. Well, maybe he hadn't really thought that he'd be able to get Caleb to move, but...at least there had been hope. Now there was none. Caleb had made it very clear that he wasn't going anywhere, and that he'd continue to try to get Leon to forgive him so that they could be together. And the worst part about it was that he wanted the same thing...
But he couldn't give in. He couldn't give up his righteous anger at Caleb. The man had lied to him and used him. Sure, he'd only been doing his job. But he shouldn't have gotten so close to Leon, shouldn't have wormed his way into his affections.,.
Except...Caleb had been right when he'd said that he hadn't done the truly unforgivable. He hadn't become Leon's lover, which really would have destroyed him when he found out that Caleb was lying to him. His story about having just broken up with an abusive boyfriend had kept Leon from trying to hit on him, or trying to lure him into his bed. It could have been so much worse, if Caleb hadn't done that.
This reasonable thought made him snarl again. he didn't want to think reasonable things about Caleb. He just wanted to hate the man. Unfortunately, Caleb had been right about that, too. He didn't hate Caleb Vargunin, he just wanted to.
He sank down on his couch, putting his head in his hands with a moan. Why? Why was this happening to him? After his last boyfriend had moved away, all he'd wanted was to meet a nice guy who could help him get over his break-up. And he had, or so he'd thought. But then he'd discovered that the 'nice guy' was actually just using him, watching him, following him...and now ,just when he'd started to get over the pain, this same man had had the temerity to come strolling back into his life and ask to be forgiven. He didn't want a complicated life. But whether he wanted it or not, it looked like he was stuck with one for who knew how long...
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