Chapter 5
Scott jumped when a hand settled on his shoulder. He looked up into Antonio’s face, seeing the concern in the dark eyes. “Scott? Are you well?” Antonio asked him.
He tried to pull himself together enough to answer rationally, instead of gibbering like a terrified monkey. “I-I’m fine,” he managed to husk after a moment.
Antonio frowned slightly. “Are you sure?” he questioned.
“Yes! I just…sort of have a headache,” Scott replied, which wasn’t a total lie. A tension headache of major proportions was throbbing behind his eyes sullenly.
“Do you need to go to the infirmary? To get painkillers?” Antonio said, his eyes searching Scott’s face.
“No. No, I’ll be okay,” he said weakly.
Antonio nodded. “Very well. You sit there and rest, and I’ll take care of anyone who comes in for now.”
Scott smiled weakly, and Antonio walked away toward a small group of prisoners who had entered the library. He groaned and slumped forward, burying his head in his hands. What had he gotten himself into?! He was already so terrified that he could barely breathe. What if Antonio found out the reason that Scott had been put into his cell? What would he do? Although Antonio doing something to him wasn’t the most frightening scenario that he could imagine - that would be Antonio withdrawing his protection of Scott, and leaving him to the tender mercies of his fellow inmates. That thought chilled him to the bone, making his insides go all watery and causing him to shake. He whimpered a little, wishing desperately that this was all a horrible dream.
But it wasn’t, and he had to live with the way things were. Scott spent some time trying to get his nerves to calm down a bit, and finally they did enough that he could put up a semi-normal face for Antonio and pretend that his headache had subsided. He began to help out with the prisoners coming into the library, checking books in and out, having people sign up for the computers or telling them that their hour was up, and helping the inmates who were studying for their GEDs or for college degrees. After awhile, he buried himself in the work enough that he almost managed to forget his own predicament. Almost.
They finally closed down the library at six o’clock, and spent an hour or so afterward shelving books and cleaning the place. Scott was far too conscious of Antonio not far away, and while before he’d talked to Tom that consciousness would only have included sexual interest and attraction, now it was mostly wariness and fear. It was not going to be easy after this, living with Antonio and being around him all the time. But he had no choice. Antonio was his cellmate, like it or not. And he was also the man who could protect Scott against the other prisoners who eyed his ass like a starving man eyed a buffet. He sighed, a long, weary exhalation of sound.
“Scott,” Antonio’s voice behind him made him jump a little.
“Yes!” he cried, whirling around.
Antonio was standing not far away, looking at him in concern again. Scott knew that he was acting a little crazy, and very nervous, but he couldn’t help it. He’d never been any good at concealing his thoughts or feelings. “It’s almost time for dinner,” Antonio said after a moment’s silence.
“Oh, okay,” he said.
Feeling even more nervous under that direct dark stare, he dropped his eyes to the floor. He heard a sigh over his head, then Antonio remarked: “Just remember to stay behind me when we go to dinner, Scott.”
“Yes,” he half-whispered, still looking at the floor.
Antonio walked away, leaving Scott standing there feeling miserable. He hated being scared of the one person who was keeping him safe in this cobra’s nest. Worse, he still had to try to find some way to seduce Antonio, because if he didn’t he’d have to spend three years in this hell hole - and two of those years would be without the protection of the only man who could keep him safe in here. So he really had no choice, none whatsoever. But how was he going to do it? How was he going to conceal his fear from Antonio long enough to not only have sex with him but get Antonio to trust him enough to talk as well?
That question plagued him over the next week. He wasn’t eating or sleeping well, because he felt like a man caught between Scylla and Charybdis. His only two choices were both fraught with peril, and his nerves were fraying more and more as the days passed. He spent most nights curled up on his bunk crying silently, so that Antonio wouldn’t hear his sniffles and come down to comfort him again. Much as he wanted that comfort(and he knew he might be able to use it as a way to seduce Antonio like he needed to), fear of the consequences of Antonio finding out what he was up to kept him from making his move. He felt like a man who was going to break apart soon, or go slowly insane. This whole situation was just unbearable.
He was sitting in the library, slumped over an opened book that he wasn’t reading, when a hand fell on his shoulder. He froze, his muscles all tensing, as Antonio said above his head: “Tom? Would you watch the place for awhile? I’m going to take Scott out into the yard for some fresh air and exercise.”
“Good idea,” he heard Tom say through his rising terror. “Boy’s looking a bit peaked.”
Scott trembled in fear as a strong hand pulled him relentlessly to his feet and began to guide him out of the library. “Come with me, Scott,” Antonio said in a cool tone of voice.
He whimpered like a kicked puppy, but he went with Antonio. What else could he do? The man was far stronger than he was, and also determined. Whatever happened to him - well, he’d just have to accept it. At least it would be over, and he probably wouldn’t be scared anymore. That would be a relief. He shuffled along beside Antonio as they made their way out into the exercise yard, which was a large square of concrete surrounded by a high fence. There were a dozen or so large men pumping iron with a set of weights to one side, and another, larger crowd playing basketball on a court at the other end. There were some wooden picnic tables and benches set up, and groups of prisoners were perched on both the tables and chairs as they took in the only fresh air to be had in this prison.
Antonio guided Scott over to the fence, where few of the prisoners bothered to go. They knew that this behavior made the guards in the towers tense and wary, which wasn’t a good thing when they happened to be armed. But two prisoners, and one as slight and non-threatening as Scott was, weren’t enough to make the guards feel trigger-happy. Antonio released his arm, but Scott just stood there with slumping shoulders and bowed head. Where exactly could he run to, after all? There was no escaping whatever was going to happen to him next.
“Scott,” Antonio began, and what he said next startled him. “I take it Tom told you about me the first day you came to work in the library?”
His head flew up, and he stared at Antonio. The other man sighed and shook his head. “I know what a gossip that Tom is,” he remarked. “And that he wouldn’t be able to resist telling my new cellmate all about me. Those things he told you about are true,” Antonio went on coolly, looking out over the landscape beyond the fence. His face was an expressionless mask. “And I do not feel any guilt over anything that I’ve done. You do what you have to to survive, and to thrive in a place such as this you have to be more ruthless and dangerous than anyone else. I’m sorry if finding out these things upset you, but I’m hoping that over time your obvious fear of me will subside somewhat.”
Scott felt a lump rising in his throat. “I…” he began. “I wasn’t…scared about those things,” he began miserably.
Antonio gave him a startled look. “You weren’t? Then why are you terrified of me, Scott? And please don’t pretend that you’re not,” he added sharply.
Scott hugged himself protectively. “There’s something I have to tell you,” he whispered desperately. “I tried…but I’m just no good at this!” he burst out, feeling tears forcing their way into his ducts yet again. He stopped talking, trying to figure out how to tell Antonio about the deal he’d made. But he was still so scared that he couldn’t seem to speak…
“Ah,” he heard Antonio say thoughtfully. “I see. The real reason that you’re scared of me is because you’re afraid of how I’ll react to the news that you were put in with me so that you could seduce me and pump me for information. Right?”
Scott’s jaw dropped all the way to the concrete, and his eyes were practically bugging out of his head. He couldn’t have said anything to this shocking observation if his life had depended on it. Antonio laughed dryly at his expression, shaking his head. “I’m not stupid, Scott,” he remarked in amusement. “The Feds have been coming here almost every week since I was locked up for stealing that Mercedes, trying to badger me and wear me down. But since that’s never worked, it was obvious to me that they’d changed their tactics when a young, attractive, and very gay man was put into my cell. I must admit, they know my tastes well. Not only are you quite beautiful, Scott, you’re also innocent and defenseless enough to activate all of my protective instincts. They knew that I’d be attracted to you - they counted on that fact. I presume that they offered you a lighter sentence if you could get me to talk?”
He nodded, his throat still too tight for him to talk coherently. Antonio shrugged. “A good plan on their parts,” he noted. “But unfortunately for them, you don’t have a deceptive bone in your entire body. So even if I hadn’t figured out what they were up to right away, you probably still would have told me eventually anyway out of guilt or remorse. I’m sorry that I didn’t realize that your fear stemmed from this source rather than what Tom told you about me, Scott. I could have allayed your fears days ago. I’m not going to do anything to you for taking their deal - you simply had no choice as you saw it, if you didn’t want to spend the entire three years of your sentence in this Purgatory. I understand and applaud doing what is necessary to survive, Scott. I would never punish you for doing so.”
He felt his lips begin to tremble, as relief and a surcease of fear made his limbs shake and his muscles turn to water. Antonio wasn’t going to do something horrible to him! He’d known all along what Scott was up to! He began to sob, so overcome with relief that he felt sick with it. “I’m sorry,” he said, covering his face with his hands.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Antonio said reassuringly. He began to guide Scott’s faltering steps, taking him out of the yard and back into the prison. His hand at Scott’s lower back made him feel steadier, and soon enough he found himself back at their cell. Antonio guided him inside and pushed him down on his bunk, then sat down next to him and put his arm around Scott. “You had every reason to be afraid, Scott,” he said softly. “After hearing how ruthless I am. But there’s nothing to be afraid of, I swear. I’ll always protect you, no matter what.”
Scott buried his face in Antonio’s jumpsuit and began to cry again. But these hot tears were cleansing, as his fear left him and he finally got the comfort he’d been longing for. Antonio’s hand stroked his hair and petted his shoulder while he wept out his fear, rocking him a little as he recovered from the worst week of his entire life - even including the one where he’d been arrested for drug possession and dealing.
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Scott jumped when a hand settled on his shoulder. He looked up into Antonio’s face, seeing the concern in the dark eyes. “Scott? Are you well?” Antonio asked him.
He tried to pull himself together enough to answer rationally, instead of gibbering like a terrified monkey. “I-I’m fine,” he managed to husk after a moment.
Antonio frowned slightly. “Are you sure?” he questioned.
“Yes! I just…sort of have a headache,” Scott replied, which wasn’t a total lie. A tension headache of major proportions was throbbing behind his eyes sullenly.
“Do you need to go to the infirmary? To get painkillers?” Antonio said, his eyes searching Scott’s face.
“No. No, I’ll be okay,” he said weakly.
Antonio nodded. “Very well. You sit there and rest, and I’ll take care of anyone who comes in for now.”
Scott smiled weakly, and Antonio walked away toward a small group of prisoners who had entered the library. He groaned and slumped forward, burying his head in his hands. What had he gotten himself into?! He was already so terrified that he could barely breathe. What if Antonio found out the reason that Scott had been put into his cell? What would he do? Although Antonio doing something to him wasn’t the most frightening scenario that he could imagine - that would be Antonio withdrawing his protection of Scott, and leaving him to the tender mercies of his fellow inmates. That thought chilled him to the bone, making his insides go all watery and causing him to shake. He whimpered a little, wishing desperately that this was all a horrible dream.
But it wasn’t, and he had to live with the way things were. Scott spent some time trying to get his nerves to calm down a bit, and finally they did enough that he could put up a semi-normal face for Antonio and pretend that his headache had subsided. He began to help out with the prisoners coming into the library, checking books in and out, having people sign up for the computers or telling them that their hour was up, and helping the inmates who were studying for their GEDs or for college degrees. After awhile, he buried himself in the work enough that he almost managed to forget his own predicament. Almost.
They finally closed down the library at six o’clock, and spent an hour or so afterward shelving books and cleaning the place. Scott was far too conscious of Antonio not far away, and while before he’d talked to Tom that consciousness would only have included sexual interest and attraction, now it was mostly wariness and fear. It was not going to be easy after this, living with Antonio and being around him all the time. But he had no choice. Antonio was his cellmate, like it or not. And he was also the man who could protect Scott against the other prisoners who eyed his ass like a starving man eyed a buffet. He sighed, a long, weary exhalation of sound.
“Scott,” Antonio’s voice behind him made him jump a little.
“Yes!” he cried, whirling around.
Antonio was standing not far away, looking at him in concern again. Scott knew that he was acting a little crazy, and very nervous, but he couldn’t help it. He’d never been any good at concealing his thoughts or feelings. “It’s almost time for dinner,” Antonio said after a moment’s silence.
“Oh, okay,” he said.
Feeling even more nervous under that direct dark stare, he dropped his eyes to the floor. He heard a sigh over his head, then Antonio remarked: “Just remember to stay behind me when we go to dinner, Scott.”
“Yes,” he half-whispered, still looking at the floor.
Antonio walked away, leaving Scott standing there feeling miserable. He hated being scared of the one person who was keeping him safe in this cobra’s nest. Worse, he still had to try to find some way to seduce Antonio, because if he didn’t he’d have to spend three years in this hell hole - and two of those years would be without the protection of the only man who could keep him safe in here. So he really had no choice, none whatsoever. But how was he going to do it? How was he going to conceal his fear from Antonio long enough to not only have sex with him but get Antonio to trust him enough to talk as well?
That question plagued him over the next week. He wasn’t eating or sleeping well, because he felt like a man caught between Scylla and Charybdis. His only two choices were both fraught with peril, and his nerves were fraying more and more as the days passed. He spent most nights curled up on his bunk crying silently, so that Antonio wouldn’t hear his sniffles and come down to comfort him again. Much as he wanted that comfort(and he knew he might be able to use it as a way to seduce Antonio like he needed to), fear of the consequences of Antonio finding out what he was up to kept him from making his move. He felt like a man who was going to break apart soon, or go slowly insane. This whole situation was just unbearable.
He was sitting in the library, slumped over an opened book that he wasn’t reading, when a hand fell on his shoulder. He froze, his muscles all tensing, as Antonio said above his head: “Tom? Would you watch the place for awhile? I’m going to take Scott out into the yard for some fresh air and exercise.”
“Good idea,” he heard Tom say through his rising terror. “Boy’s looking a bit peaked.”
Scott trembled in fear as a strong hand pulled him relentlessly to his feet and began to guide him out of the library. “Come with me, Scott,” Antonio said in a cool tone of voice.
He whimpered like a kicked puppy, but he went with Antonio. What else could he do? The man was far stronger than he was, and also determined. Whatever happened to him - well, he’d just have to accept it. At least it would be over, and he probably wouldn’t be scared anymore. That would be a relief. He shuffled along beside Antonio as they made their way out into the exercise yard, which was a large square of concrete surrounded by a high fence. There were a dozen or so large men pumping iron with a set of weights to one side, and another, larger crowd playing basketball on a court at the other end. There were some wooden picnic tables and benches set up, and groups of prisoners were perched on both the tables and chairs as they took in the only fresh air to be had in this prison.
Antonio guided Scott over to the fence, where few of the prisoners bothered to go. They knew that this behavior made the guards in the towers tense and wary, which wasn’t a good thing when they happened to be armed. But two prisoners, and one as slight and non-threatening as Scott was, weren’t enough to make the guards feel trigger-happy. Antonio released his arm, but Scott just stood there with slumping shoulders and bowed head. Where exactly could he run to, after all? There was no escaping whatever was going to happen to him next.
“Scott,” Antonio began, and what he said next startled him. “I take it Tom told you about me the first day you came to work in the library?”
His head flew up, and he stared at Antonio. The other man sighed and shook his head. “I know what a gossip that Tom is,” he remarked. “And that he wouldn’t be able to resist telling my new cellmate all about me. Those things he told you about are true,” Antonio went on coolly, looking out over the landscape beyond the fence. His face was an expressionless mask. “And I do not feel any guilt over anything that I’ve done. You do what you have to to survive, and to thrive in a place such as this you have to be more ruthless and dangerous than anyone else. I’m sorry if finding out these things upset you, but I’m hoping that over time your obvious fear of me will subside somewhat.”
Scott felt a lump rising in his throat. “I…” he began. “I wasn’t…scared about those things,” he began miserably.
Antonio gave him a startled look. “You weren’t? Then why are you terrified of me, Scott? And please don’t pretend that you’re not,” he added sharply.
Scott hugged himself protectively. “There’s something I have to tell you,” he whispered desperately. “I tried…but I’m just no good at this!” he burst out, feeling tears forcing their way into his ducts yet again. He stopped talking, trying to figure out how to tell Antonio about the deal he’d made. But he was still so scared that he couldn’t seem to speak…
“Ah,” he heard Antonio say thoughtfully. “I see. The real reason that you’re scared of me is because you’re afraid of how I’ll react to the news that you were put in with me so that you could seduce me and pump me for information. Right?”
Scott’s jaw dropped all the way to the concrete, and his eyes were practically bugging out of his head. He couldn’t have said anything to this shocking observation if his life had depended on it. Antonio laughed dryly at his expression, shaking his head. “I’m not stupid, Scott,” he remarked in amusement. “The Feds have been coming here almost every week since I was locked up for stealing that Mercedes, trying to badger me and wear me down. But since that’s never worked, it was obvious to me that they’d changed their tactics when a young, attractive, and very gay man was put into my cell. I must admit, they know my tastes well. Not only are you quite beautiful, Scott, you’re also innocent and defenseless enough to activate all of my protective instincts. They knew that I’d be attracted to you - they counted on that fact. I presume that they offered you a lighter sentence if you could get me to talk?”
He nodded, his throat still too tight for him to talk coherently. Antonio shrugged. “A good plan on their parts,” he noted. “But unfortunately for them, you don’t have a deceptive bone in your entire body. So even if I hadn’t figured out what they were up to right away, you probably still would have told me eventually anyway out of guilt or remorse. I’m sorry that I didn’t realize that your fear stemmed from this source rather than what Tom told you about me, Scott. I could have allayed your fears days ago. I’m not going to do anything to you for taking their deal - you simply had no choice as you saw it, if you didn’t want to spend the entire three years of your sentence in this Purgatory. I understand and applaud doing what is necessary to survive, Scott. I would never punish you for doing so.”
He felt his lips begin to tremble, as relief and a surcease of fear made his limbs shake and his muscles turn to water. Antonio wasn’t going to do something horrible to him! He’d known all along what Scott was up to! He began to sob, so overcome with relief that he felt sick with it. “I’m sorry,” he said, covering his face with his hands.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Antonio said reassuringly. He began to guide Scott’s faltering steps, taking him out of the yard and back into the prison. His hand at Scott’s lower back made him feel steadier, and soon enough he found himself back at their cell. Antonio guided him inside and pushed him down on his bunk, then sat down next to him and put his arm around Scott. “You had every reason to be afraid, Scott,” he said softly. “After hearing how ruthless I am. But there’s nothing to be afraid of, I swear. I’ll always protect you, no matter what.”
Scott buried his face in Antonio’s jumpsuit and began to cry again. But these hot tears were cleansing, as his fear left him and he finally got the comfort he’d been longing for. Antonio’s hand stroked his hair and petted his shoulder while he wept out his fear, rocking him a little as he recovered from the worst week of his entire life - even including the one where he’d been arrested for drug possession and dealing.
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