Just Shy of Heaven
Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Chapter 4
The baking helped to take Zander’s mind off of tomorrow for awhile, and he was so tired after not sleeping lat night that stumbled off to bed and went right to sleep without worrying. Bearclaw curled up on top of him, a warm furry lump whose purring invaded his dreams. When his alarm went off, he sat up and rubbed at his eyes, yawning. It was only then that his brain engaged, and he remembered what was going to happen today after work.
He stiffened, panic coursing through his veins. Maybe he should call in sick! No, he couldn’t do that. The bakery needed him. And he wasn’t sick, exactly - just so nervous he could barely breathe. But thinking about Tobias gave him the courage to get out of bed and get dressed. No matter what, he really wanted to spend more time with the Man in the Suit.
He concentrated on his work, letting it take his mind off of his upcoming date. But that stopped working completely when his watch beeped, making him start and come out of the semi-trance that he was in. He blinked, but then walked slowly out to the front. His eyes searched the crowd, and finally found Tobias. In spite of his shyness, he felt a surge of warmth at the sight of the Man in the Suit. And Tobias smiled the moment that he saw Zander, lifting his hand in greeting.
Zander dithered a little, feeling sweat limning his brow. His stomach was twisting itself into knots. Much as he wanted to see Tobias later, to spend time with him, his crippling shyness sent bolts of terror and panic racing through him at the very thought. Seeing his stricken expression, Tobias turned away to the counter and spoke to Anne. She glanced at him, then back at Tobias. Then she nodded. She walked away from the register and approached Zander. “Zander, that gorgeous guy wants to talk to you,” she hissed to him half under her breath.
“He does?” Zander said dumbly, feeling his body going numb.
“Yeah! Do you know him?”
“Sort of,” he replied feebly.
“Well go and talk to him!” Anne made shooing motions with her hands at him.
He walked away to circle the counter and approach the place where Tobias had positioned himself, his legs trembling under him. “Hi,” he said, so softly that it was a wonder that Tobias could hear him over the sounds of the chattering crowd surrounding them.
“Hey, Zander. I noticed that you looked really out-of-it,” Tobias replied worriedly. “Are you nervous about later today?”
He nodded, unable to say anything. To his utter shock, Tobias reached out and took his hands in his own. His eyes got very big in his face. Tobias smiled gently at him. “Listen to me, Zander,” he said. “Everything is going to be okay. We’re going to rent a suit for you, and eat lunch together, and at no time will I attempt to eat you. All right?”
He felt his face turning red from shame. “I’m sorry,” he croaked. “I can’t help it.”
Tobias squeezed his hands. “I know you can’t, Zander,” he replied soothingly. “It’s okay. I like you just the way you are, shyness and all. Now why don’t you go back to work and concentrate on your baking? I’ll see you later.”
This gentle order made Zander feel better for some reason. Maybe because Tobias seemed to completely understand him, no matter what happened. And he clearly wasn’t bothered by Zander’s horrible shyness. The warmth was back, and with it had come a fragile sense of happiness that made his face glow(although he himself didn’t know that, Tobias did and sucked in an appreciative breath over Zander’s complete adorableness). He nodded and returned to the back, his nervousness almost completely forgotten.
Behind him, Anne looked curiously at Tobias. “What was that about? How do you know Zander?”
“We’re friends. We met a few days ago,” he told her.
She blinked. “You’re friends already? Usually it takes months for Zander to make friends with somebody. He’s so shy,” she added in surprise.
“I know he is. I think it’s adorable,” Tobias said with a grin. When her mouth fell open, he only smiled and said: “I’ll have a raspberry Danish and a mocha latte please.”
Zander came out of the bakery at twelve-thirty, his hands wringing the edge of his shirt into a wrinkled mass. He looked around, and didn’t know whether to be pleased or disappointed that he saw no sign of Tobias. Had he changed his mind? Decided that Zander wasn’t worth the bother? His face fell, and his shoulders started to droop. But just then, a familiar voice called: “Hey, Zander! Sorry I’m late, but I had some really important business to take care of!”
He turned and saw Tobias standing by his car, waving. His stomach did flip-flops inside of him, as relief coursed through him. “Are you ready to go?” the other man asked, and he nodded. He sort of was, anyway. The closest he’d ever get to ready in this type of situation.
Tobias smiled and turned to open the passenger side door of his car. “Get in, your chariot awaits,” he said in a charming way.
Zander timidly approached the car, his breath catching at how close Tobias was to him as he stepped into the coupe. He nervously fumbled with the seat belt as Tobias closed the door and came around to the driver’s side. “Do you mind going to a deli for lunch?” he asked. “I know this great one that makes the best homemade potato salad.”
“T-That’s fine,” Zander croaked.
“Great. Suit first, food a bit later,” Tobias started his car.
At the rental shop, Zander stood frozen in near panic. The clerk was touching him, adjusting the suit on his body. The man kept chatting away as he did so, seemingly not put off by Zander’s stiff silence. He just wanted out of this tiny room and the stranger who was pawing him. He knew the man was just doing his job, but Zander hated to be touched by strangers. He was nearly shaking, and he closed his eyes and prayed that it would all be over soon.
He heard Tobias’s voice from behind them. “Can I come in?”
“Err…I suppose that would be fine,” the man touching Zander replied.
Tobias stepped into the tiny room, making it seem even smaller. But somehow his very presence made Zander feel better. His eyes ran over Zander’s body thoughtfully. “That looks great,” he said. “What do you think, Zander?”
Zander stared at him, then turned to the mirror reluctantly. His eyes widened a bit when he saw himself in it. The suit was dark-blue, and the way it hung on his slim body made him look elegant and rather dapper, instead of just kind of skinny and narrow-shouldered. His breath caught, and he was so enraptured by his own reflection that he forgot his nervousness around the clerk. “Is that me?” he asked aloud.
A chuckle. “Yes, it’s you,” Tobias replied. “And you look great. This is definitely the one. Why don’t you take it off and get dressed, Zander? They’ll put it in a garment bag for you so that it’ll stay nice until we go on our dinner date.”
He nodded, his hands reaching up for the tie. Tobias took the clerk’s arm and escorted the man out, knowing that Zander wouldn’t like having someone in the room with him while he undressed. He paid for the rental on the suit, and then waited until Zander emerged from the room with the suit draped over his arm. The clerk took it and bore it away to put it in a garment bag for him. Tobias smiled at Zander. “That wasn’t so hard, was it? And now you’re ready for Saturday,” he said happily.
Zander squirmed a little. “Yes,” he agreed.
“Are you hungry? I’m starving,” Tobias remarked.
He nodded. He hadn’t had anything since breakfast, and his stomach was growling at him urgently. Tobias heard that noise, and his face turned red as Tobias’s eyes smiled at him. The clerk returned just then and handed Zander the black garment bag. He took it, gave the man a rather wild-eyed look, and hurriedly left the shop with Tobias.
Tobias pulled up in front of a small but busy deli. “Wait here,” he told Zander. “I’ll get us some food. Do you like roast beef sandwiches?”
Zander nodded. “What kind of cheese? Provolone, cheddar, Swiss?”
“Swiss,” he whispered.
“Ah, okay. I’ll be right back,” he hopped out of the coupe and departed into the deli, leaving Zander feeling relief that he didn’t have to go into that crowded place. His hands smoothed the garment bag on his lap, remembering how he’d looked in the suit. At least while he was wearing it, he wouldn’t feel so inadequate.
Tobias returned carrying several large white bags in his hands. He got into the car and handed the bags to Zander. “I know a great place for us to eat,” he told Zander as he started the engine.
He drove a short way, and to Zander’s surprise pulled up next to a small park. There were few people around at this time of the day, and Tobias pointed to an empty picnic table under a tree. “We’ll sit there and eat,” he explained to Zander. “It’s such a beautiful day, we might as well take advantage of it. Right?”
Zander nodded, feeling relief that they weren’t going to a crowded restaurant to eat. He carried the bags over to the table, as Tobias sat down on one side of the table and gestured for Zander to sit on the other side. Tobias reached out and snagged the bags, pulling them over to him. He began to extract the food, including two large roast beef sandwiches, containers of potato salad, coleslaw, and fruit salad, and a couple of bags of plain chips. “I had them put a bunch of toppings on the side for you, Zander, so that you could choose what you wanted on your sandwich,” Tobias told him as he handed Zander his sandwich and several pieces of wax paper folded over everything from lettuce, tomatoes, and onions to olives, peppers, and sauerkraut.
“Thank you,” he breathed gratefully. He put lettuce, tomatoes, mushrooms and just a bit of green pepper on his sandwich, then squirted mayonnaise and a bit of mustard onto it from packets that Tobias provided. He realized that the other man was watching him intently, and his face flamed. “What?” he asked nervously.
Tobias smiled. “I’m sorry for staring, but I’m fascinated by everything that you do, Zander. And now I know exactly how you take your roast beef sandwiches. Every little bit of information helps me to get to know you better. I like that.”
“Oh,” Zander said. “Umm…”
Tobias chuckled. “Don’t sweat it, Zander,” he said as he unwrapped his own sandwich. “Everybody has to have a hobby. Mine is now going to be Zander-watching.”
Chapter 5